A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Friday, July 29, 2011

The Hookers Union

I ended up going out on Thursday night with a few friends for beers and dinner so I didn’t have time to write a proper original post. So to make up for it here is a great little email joke that I got a while back that illustrates that not all unions are a good thing.

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No,” she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20,” she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive green-eyed blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam.

Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next.”

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thoughts Of A Jackass # 5

Well it has been a couple of months since my last post in my series “Thoughts Of A Jackass” so here is another installment. This series is where I take some of my jackass Facebook posts and share them with you.

I just spent all day removing a virus from my laptop. It got a virus last night while I was reading a news story about Congressman Weiner. Even the news about him is infectious.

Am I the only one who has the urge to rip the speaker off the top of ice cream trucks when they roll through the neighborhood?

Hey menfolk, if you want to keep a woman from going through your cell phone, just rename it "kitchen" then it is almost guaranteed that no woman will go in it.

I think the powers that be need to invent a spray for wasps that does not kill them, but rather makes them leave your house and go to your neighbor’s house and sting them.

If I get married again I am going to Lake Charles instead of Vegas.

After -re-watching the US Women's world cup soccer game yesterday against North Korea, I must say I feel sorry for the people of that oppressed country. I mean how good can life be there when your country makes all the women on the soccer team have the same exact hair cut.


If ABC was smart, they would have put Charilie Sheen on Dancing With The Stars....

I miss football so bad I am watching a Canadian Football League game.

I am curious to know which day of the week more people quit their jobs on. I am pretty sure it is Monday.

Walmart finally has the oral health isle figured out. They had toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, and feminine products all on the same isle during my last visit.

Now that his term as governor is over does this mean that Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to go back to making shitty b-rated action movies?

It should be mandatory in this country that in order to get a driver’s license you should be able to prove that you can walk through a crowded Walmart without walking into people and their baskets. If you can't do that you have no fucking business driving on the roadways.

If our country really wanted to stop the terrorists cold in their tracks, all the US has to do is make a 100 woman army made up of pissed off ex-wives along with 1 divorce attorney and drop them into where the terrorists are. The war would be over in days.

Did my ears deceive me just now? I thought I heard the guy on Fox say that an Astros player was playing in the All Star Game. Surely he can't be serious.

"Imma let you finish your trial Casey Anthony, but OJ Simpson's not guilty verdict was better" - Kanye West

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Apparently I Am An Addict.

My kids tell me I spend too much time on the computer. Well I probably do. But they say it is not the computer, but rather Facebook that I spend too much time on.

Last Friday I was on Facebook before leaving work, I noticed that one of the local sports radio stations was doing a giveaway on Facebook.

They said, “like this picture and be one of the first 100 to do so and we will have a drawing for a free copy of the Playstation 3 game MLB2K11.” So I “liked” it and got off the computer and proceeded home.

After eating dinner late Friday night I got on Facebook to check things out. It was then that I noticed a post from said radio station saying, “Congrats to Oilfield Trash, you have won the giveaway. Please call 555-UWon to come and claim your game.”

I jumped up and screamed, “hell to the YEA!!!!”

I then decided I needed to send my kids an email telling them how I got paid to be on Facebook and that I had won the game (because after all they will play said game with me).

This is the actual email I sent to the kids.

Biggie and Sissy,

I don't want you to ever say anything about your dad being on facebook again. Why, because I just won a PS3 video game "MLB 2K11" from a local sports radio stations Facebook page. So take that you two for hating on your dad for being on facebook.

Peace, Love, and free video games!!!!

Love, dad.

My son emailed me back and told me that it was cool that I had won the game and he can’t wait to play it with me when he gets back from vacation. He also apologized for saying I was addicted to Facebook.

Dad 1, Brats 0.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Hey Can I Borrow Some Ends?

I am beyond sick of Washington and the great debt ceiling debate that is going on right now.

Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats are behaving. And neither have the desires of the American people at heart. They are both only looking to do what we will get them re-elected in 2012. Well guess what, we are fucked in the process.

The Republicans only want to cut spending, and the Democrats only want to raise taxes.

If you want to stop the bleeding and adding of debt, you have to cut your spending.

If you want to get out of debt, you have to cut spending and also raise revenue. To get out of debt you have to do both in cutting your spending and bring in more money.

It seems simple right? Well apparently the concept that my kids understand is not something that Washington seems to know anything about.

Neither party seems to understand the root cause of how we got into this mess in the first place. And that is by spending too much money.

Now don’t think I am taking sides here (remember I am in independent) because honestly both the Republicans and the Democrats are totally guilty when it comes to spending. For decades now both parties (with both holding the White House and congress at alternating times throughout the last 30 years) have spent us blindly into oblivion. It is time to have a serious talk about it.

We need to cut spending. Like when I was born. But since that time has passed we need to cut spending. I know some of you are fans of big government and some are not. Regardless of where your political affiliations may lay, this spending problem is hurting all of us. There are tons of money that are wasted daily by our government and we need to get better returns for our tax dollars. Because honestly right now we are not getting our money’s worth.

At the same time, we need to increase revenue by closing out some tax loopholes and get everyone paying their fair share in taxes (I am looking at you GE who paid ZERO in taxes in 2010).

Seems like an easy solution right?

Well it is too complicated for Washington because frankly the President’s only solution is to raise taxes and not stop the spending. I mean that is like you having a brother who is a meth addict and instead of putting his ass in rehab to help him (ie fix the cause of the problem); you just go out and buy him more meth. Yes it is that insane.

Needless to say we are screwed and it is not looking good right now for our future.To quote a great movie in Gremlins 2, "I am advising all of my clients to invest in canned goods and shotgun shells."

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Triple Nipple

People with an extra nipple are nothing new. Many people over the years have had an extra nipple on their chest or torso area.

Well this woman has a nipple in a new area. She has a third nipple and it is on the bottom of one of her feet.

Now I have heard of “pussy footing around” but I have never heard of “nipple footing around”.

Yes I said she has an actual nipple on the bottom of her foot.

I bet she never gets turned down when she asks for a foot massage. Hell I bet she even has guys (and even ladies) begging to give her a foot massage.

Can you imagine the shock and look on the little Asian ladies face at the nail salon when she goes and gets a pedi?

I wonder if it hurts her when she is walking around outside when it is cold.

Can you imagine having her on the bed with her legs over your shoulders, you could pinch two nipples and suck on the third at the same time.

Ok I will stop with the nasty jokes.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Oh No She Didn’t !!!!

Men you may not want to read this if you just ate your lunch. Or breakfast.

I don’t know if you heard about this or not, but this woman cut off her husband’s penis and stuffed it down the garbage disposal and turned it on.

Yes you read that correctly, she cut off his cock and put it down the garbage disposal and destroyed it.


Double ouch.

This whole story is beyond disturbing.

The guy was apparently divorcing this bitch/cunt/crazy demonic piece of shit woman and allowed her to continue to live at the house until she could find a place to live (mistake #1-you kick them out).

At some point she drugged his dinner (mistake #2-you never eat food cooked by crazy bitches) and the man went to lay down (mistake #3-never turn your back on a crazy bitch) because he felt ill. Shortly after going to bed the man passed out.

It was at that point that she tied him up, cut his dick off, and proceeded to the kitchen where she put it down the disposal.

The woman called 911 asking for medical help for the man. The police showed up and arrested her. She told police that he deserved it. She was charged with false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, and aggravated mayhem. Now why does aggravated mayhem sound like that dude from the Allstate commercials.

The man was taken to a hospital where they were able to control the bleeding. A poor cop had to retrieve what was left of the penis from the sink (now there is a job I am very thankful I don’t have-can you imagine coming home from work and explaining how your day was?) and it is unclear if they will be able to re-attach it. If they can’t re-attach it they will be able to make a prosthetic penis.

Now I have a few comments about this. Ladies, it is not ok to do this. I don’t care if he fucked your mother and you walked in on it, nobody deserves this. You get a divorce and end it. Period. End. Of. Fucking. Story. The only time this is ever allowed is if the man is beating you and you slice it off to protect your life while he is beating you. That is the only time it is ever acceptable to do this.

There should be a law for this to where they can charge someone who does this kind of heinous crime with capital murder. Hey Trash did you just say capital murder? Hell yes I did. She killed his sex life. Forever. So yes this should be a crime punishable by death. Yes I am serious.

I feel sorry for this man. I really do. I have not seen an update to the original story to see of they were able to save his penis or if he had to have a prosthetic penis attached. But after seeing this picture of a garbage disposal below, would you really want it back?

Poor man, I will drink a beer, light a candle, and play Taps in your honor tonight.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

He’s A Chip Off Of The Block As Well

Last week I told you about how my daughter sent me a funny email. Well I also recently got one from my son as well.

He sent me one the other day with a picture of a pimped out car attached. He was all excited to show me this car since he loves cars and he also loves the University Of Texas.

The email was good in and of itself as it was the picture and a little bit of small talk, but that was not the funny part. You see my son had not only sent the email to me, but he had also copied his mom, and my brother in the email.

It was at that moment that I had noticed that my wonderful son had listed me in his address book as “step dad”, as well as his uncle as “step uncle”, and his mom as “step mom”.

That little shit does have a sense of humor. One that is just like mine.

I guess this means he is indeed my son and I need to stop that DNA test to try and get out of paying child support.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My Thoughts On Casey Anthony

Unless you are dead you have heard about Casey Anthony, the death of her daughter, the trial, and the not guilty verdict in her trial.

Well as all of you who read my blog regularly know that I have an opinion on anything and everything, and this subject is no different.

So here are a few thoughts to think about with regards to this whole thing because I seriously think that America has lost its collective mind about this case.

Yes she was found not guilty of murder. Get over it. The jury found that there was not sufficient evidence to convict her of capital murder. Yes I know there have been people convicted on little to no evidence before (think Scott Peterson) but in this case there was no way that with the evidence presented that they could convict her of murder. They couldn’t even prove how the child died and that right there means they couldn’t convict her of murder (ie if it was an accident and covered up that is not murder). Did she actually do it, I am pretty sure that she did but it couldn’t be proven.

The justice system is not perfect but yes it worked in this case. It is not broken as the news media has suggested. The jury did the right thing. Remember it is better that a guilty person go free than to have an innocent person behind bars or executed.

The prosecution should have done a much better job with this case. They should have charged her with a lesser crime than capital murder where the burden of proof would have been less. They could have got a conviction with a lesser charge. I blame them for this complete bumbling of this case.

A not guilty verdict does not equal innocent. It just simply means that someone is not guilty in a court of law. Remember OJ Simpson, yea he was found not guilty but we all know he killed his ex wife. The same statement about OJ applies here with Casey Anthony and her case. Yes we know she had something to do with it, she lied her ass off to the police about this from start to finish.

Shame on Casey Anthony for letting her defense team openly accuse her father of molesting her in court while he was on the witness stand. What a complete cunt for that. I don’t care if her father fucked her or not, that fact remains that is not an excuse for killing a two year old kid or lying to the police.

And all the people who have been threatening the judge, the jury, the lawyers involved, and Casey Anthony herself, you need to stop. Violence is not the answer here. The only acceptable form of violence would have been if she had been convicted of capital murder and would have been put to death as a result.

I waited and waited for Nancy Grace’s head to fucking explode after the not guilty verdict was read, but alas it did not happen.

Look I know all of you know me and how I am with crimes against children, and you are right that I think they deserve horrible things to happen to them. The same week that the trial ended a man in Ohio raped his 6 month old baby. Yes he raped his own son. So trust me when I say that people like this man and Casey Anthony will get theirs in the end.

Casey has pissed off more than just us. She has pissed off God/mother nature/higher power as lightening struck a tree at the site where Kaley’s remains were found just after Casey was sentenced. But more so than God, she has pissed off the biggest bitch on the planet and that is Karma. And we all know that Karma catches up to people in the long run. Hell just look at OJ and where he is now. Casey will fuck up again and she will get hers.

She will have to live underground for a very long time since so many people want to do her harm. She was offered a spot in a porno and they took the offer back because so many people were upset about it. So you know you are one hated bitch when you can’t even do porn. The only job left that she can do is become a two bit stripper.

So everyone please take a deep breath and put your faith in Karma as that bitch will take care of her. And when Casey gets to hell, just take pride in the fact that she will have to spend eternity sitting next to Barney the dinosaur, Saddam Hussein, and Michael Jackson with the only songs being played are from Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand.

On a side note, why am I always the voice of reason?

Monday, July 18, 2011

We Lost, But It Was Still A Good Game

Well yesterday the USA women’s team played Japan in the final of the FIFA women’s world cup. And they lost.

The game was very exciting as both teams played an outstanding game. The US had many shots on goal in the first half but luck just wouldn’t put the ball into the net.

Each team ended up scoring great goals during the second half which forced the game into overtime at one goal apiece.

And each team scored a great goal in the overtime period which sent the game to penalty kicks.

The USA did horrible during the penalty kick shootout and Japan didn’t which is what gave the game to Japan.

I am not mad or sad about losing the World Cup final to Japan as both teams played a classy game without many fouls. The both played the beautiful game the way it was supposed to be played, and that is how it should be.

The USA women’s team should not be sad either. You had to win a playoff game to just qualify for the World Cup. Then you lost a game to Sweden in the group stage only to bounce back to play the epic game against Brazil. Then you beat a very talented France team to reach the final.

So USA, keep your chins up you will be ok. You have a very talented team and there is still more soccer to play. Next summer is the Olympics (which they have won the last two times) to look forward to. And I also heard that the next women’s World Cup is in Canada, hmm I may have to take myself and the kids up there to see it.

Oh and to the USA goalie Hope Solo, you can come play goalie with me anytime you hot thing you!!!

Friday, July 15, 2011

She’s A Chip Off The Old Block

So my kids have been up at their grandparents in Atlanta for the last three weeks and I have been missing them. I couldn’t take my normal month of vacation off from work to spend it with them this year due to stuff beyond my control and it is severely depressing to me.

So for the last year I have been teaching my kids the joys of email and how to use it as a great form of communication when separated by long distances. Occasions like now when they are 790 miles away from me.

So yesterday evening I got the following email from my daughter.


I am the ruler of what?


You never forget that or else!

Bacon lovers unite!

I love bacon and you may to but not as much as me!


Did you see that? It is bacon!

Never forget that I am the ruler of Bacon!


Peace, love and bacon.
* My Bacon*

You see I love bacon and I think my love for it got passed through my DNA to my daughter. The ironic thing about the email was when I received said email I was eating some leftover bacon pizza that I brought home from work that day.

So I guess I have taught her well.

Next I think I will teach her about my love of Brazilian BBQ restaurants. And maybe when she is around 40 I teach her about my love for Patron.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I Am An Inspiration. Apparently.

One of the blogs that I follow, My Joy Project posted an interesting post the other day.

Joy was listing the way that she wants to feel with a man. The list included adored, safe, desired, valued, wanted, appreciated, loved, and respected. The list is actually a pretty good list when you think about it.

I commented on her post that most if not all women want/demand to feel that way, but really if ever make men feel the same way. I also told her in an email that men want to feel that way as well, but we don’t say it out loud. Well all of those things except safe, unless you are dating/married to one of those body building weight lifting type women.

So ladies and men folk, what do you think. Is that list a list of reasonable things to want to feel from your partner?

So my comment to her in her original post caused her to write a post today about what she as a woman wants to give a man (I hope it includes a naughty email to me with nice pictures of her since I am pimping out her blog). 

So head over to My Joy Project to see what little Oilfield Trash inspired her to write.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

This Is True Tragedy

If you think about it there have been a lot of tragedies in recent times. The earthquake and resulting tsunamis in Japan, the earthquake in Haiti, Justin Beiber, flooding in Pakistan, George Bush getting elected not one but two times, all of these recent tornados, the Sopranos ending, Hurricane Katrina, and the events of 9/11 are all good examples of recent tragedies.

And if you look back over recorded history, there have been tons of tragedies that have taken place long term. The sinking of the Titanic, World War 2, the eruption of Mt Vesuvius, the Cold War, Winter Olympics, Judas selling out Jesus, the Detroit Lions, and the fall of the Roman Empire are all great examples of tragedies throughout recorded history.

But all of those pale in comparison to this tragedy I am going to tell you about.

How in the fucking world is one of my favorite bands Rush not in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame?


Yes they are not in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame. Nor have they ever been nominated.

This has to be some kind of crime being committed here.

Some kind of conspiracy bigger than the JFK one has to be at work in Cleveland.

Love them or hate them, they are talented.

The singer Geddy Lee is in the top five of bass players in music all time if not number one. He inspired Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and the guy in Primus. I have him at number one for bass players all time.

The drummer Neil Peart is in the top five all time of drummers. I personally have him at number two only slightly behind John Bonham from Led Zeppelin.

So here is a little list of bands/singers that are in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame that I don’t think should be there before Rush.

U2 (they were still in junior high school when Rush started), Neil Diamond (ok he has been melting panties for a long time but I don’t like his music), Dr John (who? Exactly), Abba (yea I know a lot of people love them but what have they done since the 70’s?), Metallica (they should go but after Rush), Run DMC (they weren’t even smoking weed yet when Rush started), Madonna (she hadn’t lost her virginity or thought about making an album when Rush started), John Melloncamp, REM (Michael Stipe was straight when Rush got together and no I am not gay bashing), Sex Pistols (while they were influential but they were only together for TWO YEARS), Prince (he had a real name when Rush got together), The Clash (had not discovered teen angst when Rush started recording), Bruce Springsteen (no need to say anything), and Ike Turner (all he did was beat Tina). There are many other people I could list but I couldn’t think of something sarcastic to say about the rest of them who don’t deserve to be in the Hall.

Do you see how ridiculous that list of people who have gotten in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame is? I think Rush should have gone in there a long time ago. And other people agree with me.

When Metallica was inducted a couple of years ago, their lead singer during his speech said it was disgraceful that Metallica was going in before Rush. Yes he really said it because I watched that on tv.

Rush has put out 19 studio albums, they have put out multiple live albums, they have been together for 37 years, they still sell out every where that they play in concert, and two of them are in the top two all time for their respective instruments. Oh and they are also the best thing to come out of Canada besides hockey, Kokanee beer, and Boston Pizza!

So Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame, please get your fucking heads out of your asses and get them in the Hall. Fix this tragedy now!!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I Am A Guest Posting Fool!

So I have been getting a few requests lately to do some guest posts for a few people. And well I have been extremely busy lately at work and finally got some free time to get around to writing some guest posts for a couple of people.

Yesterday (sorry I didn't have time on Monday to link it up on Monday's post) I had a guest post go up for Rosie over at Hello Rosie where I wrote about “How Meridian Mississippi Saved My Life” so you should go show Rosie some love and check out my guest post.

And today I have a guest post up for Mynx over at Dribble about the first time I had ever met some Australians in person. So please also go check Mynx and my post over there.

As for the rest of you who have asked me for a guest post, please be patient as I am working six days a week and twelve hours a day so it will take me a little time to write up some great guest posts.

So please go check out Rosie and Mynx places for my guest posts today.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I Love The USA!!!

Soccer is one of my eight favorite sports and I watch it regularly as I am lucky enough to have an MLS team here in Houston. But when the World Cup (men’s or women’s) is going on I am glued in and watch most if not all of the matches because there is a lot of good soccer being played. 

And yesterday a wonderful thing happened for our country. Over in Germany right now the FIFA Women’s World Cup is going on and our country’s team played against Brazil. Win the game and they advance to the semifinals and lose and they pack their bags to come back home.

Well the ladies from the USA won. Not just won but won in a dramatic come from behind fashion kind.

This game was in my mind one of the best World Cup games ever in both the men’s and women’s cups that I have ever seen. This game had everything in it from an own goal, a player sent off with a red card, a penalty kick, overtime, and finishing up with penalty kicks.

The game started off quickly with the US attacking and within two minutes they had a great shot on goal that a player from Brazil put the rebound in her own goal. The first half finished with the US leading 1-0.

Shortly after the second half started the ref called a foul on a US player in the box and awarded a penalty kick. The foul when shown on the replay was a complete bullshit call and the red card given to the US player should have never been pulled out of the ref’s pocket. But alas Brazil took the penalty kick but it was blocked. Then the ref claimed that the US goalie Hope Solo moved and gave Brazil another kick which they scored on. Complete bullshit if you saw the game. It was really funny to hear the English guy who was calling the game say multiple times that “the ref has lost the plot” since I knew what it meant. Yes I do know some Queens English terms and phrases.

(you can clearly see that this was no foul as the player from Brazil jumped in the air to go after the ball)

So with the scored tied 1-1 and playing with only 10 players, they kept Brazil out of the goal for the balance of the game.

On came the overtime period which Brazil quickly scored a goal to go up 2-1. The US never lost their composure through the balance of the game and kept playing. At the end of the overtime period one of the players from Brazil faked an injury trying to take time off of the clock but thankfully the ref added two minutes of stoppage time because the USA scored the game tying goal with just 30 seconds in the game (at this point I flew off of the couch and was screaming and yelling).

Thus the game moved onto penalty kicks to decide the winner. The USA made all five of their kicks while Brazil only made four of theirs (thanks to our goalie blocking one of theirs) so the USA won and advances to the final four and will play France on Wednesday morning.

Now if you saw this game then you know how much of a great game it was. And if you didn’t see the game, let me just say that this game summed up this team and America in general. These women played through adversity (in playing against both Brazil and the shitty ref as well as playing a man down due to the penalty) and never gave up and continued to play hard until the final whistle sounded.

Ladies of the US Soccer Team I am flying my flag high today. Thanks for all that you do and for not giving up when the odds are against you. You snatched victory from the arms of the grim reaper.

Oh and to our goalie Hope Solo, you are beautiful and you have a very nice set of athletic legs and thighs (she is the one in the gray outfit). You can email me anytime Hope, just take those big gloves off before you do as I don't think you can type very well with them on.

Friday, July 8, 2011


Did you ever play the board game Operation when you were younger? I played the game a lot as a kid.

I even played it when I got older in high school and college. The fun of this game was never lost on me. Hell we even turned it into a drinking game.

Then for someone reason I quit playing the game as I got older.

When my kids were old enough to play it, I went out and bought one. I loved playing it with them and watching them freak out when they would set off the alarm. We played that game until it broke and for some reason never got another one. Maybe it got replaced with Playstation and to be honest I can’t remember.

Then last week one of my friends sent me an email on Facebook with a picture attached that she had taken in a Walmart.

The picture was this one below.

Holy Fuck, they make a Family Guy version of Operation.

Needless to say I will be buying one of these on payday. I will let you know how it turns out.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Don’t Mind Me, I Am Busy Reading

The UPS guy was nice enough to deliver and leave a package on my porch yesterday.

You see I bought this new book online yesterday from Amazon and I have been eagerly waiting for it to come so I can read it.

This book is the mother of all self help books.

Basically this book will help you with anything that is wrong with you whether or not you actually have a problem.

More to the point, this book is the best book ever written in recorded history.

No it is not a bible.

What is this great book you ask?

The book is called “Understanding Women. Volume 1”

The only problem with the book that I can see so far is that it was written by a woman. This explains why it is 12,745 pages long, written in very fine small print, and also not available on Kindle.

I will be back in six or so months to write a review for you.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

My Favorite Albums

It has been a while since I did a “getting to know Oilfield Trash” post so I thought I would share a little bit about myself with you. Over the last year I have told you about my favorite movies, tv shows, and more of my favorite movies so I thought I would share with you my favorite albums of all time.

Music for me is a double edged sword, while I love it and it can put me into a good mood sometimes hearing some songs can send me into a deep depression as a lot of songs have some deep seeded meanings for me.

So here is the list in no particular order:

Pearl Jam – “VS” This I think is without a doubt Pearl Jam’s best album that they have made. I can listen to this album all day long. The songs Daughter, Glorified G, Dissident, and Rearviewmirror are the best. This came out during my third freshman year of college and sums up that whole time frame of my life and how I felt in the struggle on my way through youth to adulthood.

The Rolling Stones – “Hot Rocks, Greatest Hits” Since I love so many of their songs I can’t just pick one particular album of theirs so I have this nice cd where I can most if not all of their songs that I love. I have been listening to them since I was shitting my diapers as a baby. Yes I am the son of hippies.I really wish the video game people would make a Rock Band:Rolling Stones edition so I could play it with my kids. Can you picture me singing Honky Tonk Woman with my kids? I sure as hell can.

Smashing Pumpkins – “Siamese Dream” This is another great album that came out when I was young drunk college student. I remember when I first heard Cherub Rock on the radio while driving and before the song was over I was doing 50 mph over the speed limit. The song still has that affect on me till this day and I was highly pissed off when they didn’t play this song live when I saw them in concert 4 years ago.

Pink Floyd – “Pulse” I am sucker for live music and this cd is a great one. It has all of Pink Floyd’s great hits along with some from their last two studio albums done in the post Roger Waters departure from the band era. Every single song on this cd is beyond classic. It was a shame I could not see them during this tour that the album was recorded.

Incubus – “Monuments And Melodies” To be fair to them my original choice for this one was “Morning View” but since I love so much more of their music, I had to go with the greatest hits cd. I will say that Wish You Were Here is by far my favorite song by them. Although Drive, Stellar, and Talk Shows On Mute are all a very close second. I am seeing them in concert at the end of September here in Houston and they put on one hell of a great show.

New Order – “Substance” This is the only cd I have had to buy multiple copies of on various formats. I have had this album on cassette, vinyl, and cd and multiple of each due to the fact that I listen to it so much. Every song on this album is great and sums up their best work from the early to mid 1980’s. I listen to this album every time I have to fly on a plane for longer than 30 minutes as it is perfect to listen to while staring out the window at the clouds and the ground.

Creedence Clearwater Revival – “Chronicle” This is another band that have way more than one good album so I picked a greatest hits album since I love so much of their music. Fortunate Son and Proud Mary are beyond classic. You can’t go to any bar in Louisiana without hearing some drunk college coed singing one of their songs.

Soundgarden – “A-Sides” Another one of favorite bands from the early 1990’s. If I had a voice like Chris Cornel I would do some of their songs at karaoke night, but I can’t hit those high notes. Outshined has to be their best song ever in my opinion. I have heard that they have gotten back together and I hope they stay together as they are a talented band.

Rush – “Rush In Rio” I love live music and this album does not disappoint as it was recorded in Rio where they played for the first time there. The album includes all of their hits live. Ironically I was in Brazil only two hours away when they played there and my boss at the time wouldn’t let me off from work early to go this show. Needless to say I was a tad pissed about it. But thankfully it was recorded and put out on cd as well as dvd.

ZZ Top – “Live From Texas” I have loved the little band from Texas ever since I moved to Texas back in the early 1980’s. They have always put out great hits and they just so happen to be from here in Houston. La Grange and Waiting For The Bus / Jesus Just Left Chicago are two of the best rock songs ever recorded. Here is a little bit of trivia for you, the song La Grange was written about the chicken ranch (ie whorehouse) out in La Grange, Texas from back in the 60’s and 70’s which was featured in the movie “The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas”. True story. And Tush is the only song that I will sing sober at a karaoke bar. Ow Ow Ow.

Well there you have a nice little insight into the music that makes me tick. I hope you enjoyed it.

Friday, July 1, 2011

What Ever Happened To Quality?

Have you noticed that quality is not job number one in American anymore? No one seems to take pride in the quality of their work.

You can see it all over the place from the board room to the person working at the drive through at McDonald’s. One of the places you can see it most frequently are in newspapers and the quality (and lack thereof) in their writing. Don’t bash my grammar mistakes; I am not paid to write for a living where other people are reading it.

Take this picture that a friend of mine from Facebook took here in Houston a while back.

Who is the nimrod who put both of those signs up? Maybe one sign went up before the other which I could see happening. But why not take the other one down? And how much do you want to bet that the city ordered one of those two signs for another location (which wastes money by the way). I mean which sign is it correct because it sure as fuck can’t be both.

Is not there not someone who even looks at what they are doing while on the job?

I have a sneaking suspicion that if people put more quality into what they do for a living maybe our country would be a better place. And maybe, just maybe America would be a better place.