And no I am not speaking about the kind of change that people voted for in 2008. I am talking about some personal changes that are going on in my life.
I have normally been a happy person throughout most of my life. When I got married I kind of lost/forgot the person I was prior to getting married. After leaving my ex-wife I was on track to getting back to myself. Then a relationship gave me another setback. After that one ended, I got back to myself again. I had not been as happy with myself at that moment since I was a teenager.
Then I made some really tough decisions/actions/etc two years ago that changed my life for the worse. And it was during the last two years that I started to lose the person that was Oilfield Trash. Well except for here where I write, this was the only place I was still sort of myself. If you noticed, I never lost my sense of humor.
And as you know the last six months at work consumed my life. It became a living hell for me. I became a huge asshole because I was always working, always tired, always stressed, sick daily, mentally exhausted, I couldn’t give any time to anyone who asked. Basically I shut out everyone from my life and I knew it. All I wanted to do was SLEEP.
I basically lost the core person I was and had become someone else that I did not know.
Now I knew back in May and June that I was rock bottom in a hell hole. And I knew that as soon as my work situation got better in October/November that I had to make a lot of changes.
So in October I started working on these changes. In no particular order I am going to do, doing, or have done the follow:
1. I quit drinking Mountain Dew. Yes I said it. I was addicted to Mountain Dew more than sex and I gave it up cold turkey. Yes I had a lot of headaches for a while but it was worth it. Not only am I saving money by not drinking it, but I am also not getting tons of sugar that just made me fat.
2. I started drinking tons of water in lieu of not drinking Mountain Dew. I have been drinking so much water I have changed my name to H2O. And I can’t remember the last time my urine was any other color than clear.
3. I started walking one to two miles a day. Now this one combined with the no more Mountain Dew since mid October has caused me to lose 25 pounds.
4. As you know I quit smoking two weeks ago. And when you combine the first three things with the no smoking, you can see why I feel fucking GREAT each and every day. I literally feel like a million bucks.
5. I am getting more in touch with my feelings for things. I told you earlier this week about how I learned the tough lesson of saying I love you to someone. This one has made me feel a lot better.
6. I am spending more time with my kids and doing stuff just for them and only them.
7. I am taking time each week and each day to do something just for me. This is a huge one for me since in the last couple of years I have forgot that I need to do that.
8. I am also not letting anyone or anything bother me anymore. People at work, situations, etc are no longer bothering me and not worth the time/effort/stress to ever let stuff bother me.
9. I am also being a nicer person to everyone since I have always been a truly nice person to everyone.
10. I am getting back to being more spiritual.
11. I am trying and learning to control my temper. And this is a huge one for me.
Now a lot of this stuff is really hard to do, and I am struggling with them all the time.
As a result of doing all of this stuff, I have got “ME” back. I feel like I did when I was 21. I feel like I can conquer the world. It truly is a great thing to have “ME” back.
Showing posts with label Common Sense. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Common Sense. Show all posts
Friday, December 9, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Three. Little. Words.
I know I have perhaps been a little different lately in what I have been picking and choosing to write about. But you will have to just forgive me and get over it as I am getting sappy these days.
What I am writing is not just how I feel, but this is also a life lesson. A learning experience. Maybe even a life saving story. You should take this story into your heart and head and understand it. Pass it on. Spread the word about it.
This story of my experiences lately should help you or someone you may know.
A few weeks ago I told all of you that I was not currently in a relationship with Miley and I also did not explain why. I am not going to get into the details of what happened, but I am going to tell you the main reason why we are not together.
I never told her that I loved her.
Yes that is correct.
I never said to her face “I LOVE YOU”.
Should I have said it to her face? Yes I should have said it to her a long time ago as in years ago.
Did she know I loved her? Yes she knew I loved her. But she still wanted to hear and see me at the same time say “I LOVE YOU”. Women apparently need verbal communication.
Why didn’t I say that I love you to her? Well the short and sweet answer is that I was scared, scared of getting hurt. You see I have a huge wall around my heart (think Castle wall), with a moat, and a draw bridge. And every single time I have ever even remotely opened up the castle gate, I have gotten my heart crushed by a woman who cheated on me or did something just as bad or worse as cheating. Think of it as a proverbial Trojan Horse, where the woman was the horse and she was full of evil soldiers out to kill me off and do me harm. And I let her in every time expecting a different result and getting murdered by the soldiers inside the Trojan Horse.
Sounds kind of dumb huh? Well it may have been, but I put up a wall to keep even the remote chance of getting hurt to a minimum.
All while I was busy putting up a wall to keep Miley out, all Miley wanted to do was love me. She wanted to fix what was wrong with my world. Her Trojan Horse was full of bunny rabbits, rainbows, butterflies, chocolate, beer, and all kinds of other things which happiness is made. At the same time I thought Miley’s Trojan Horse was full of ninja’s trying to suck the life out of my soul and stab me. And as a result of having my wall up, I never told her I loved her.
We had all kinds of other little problems going on, which had I told her one time I loved her, she would have overlooked the problems and she would still be with me today.
I have since told her millions of times that I love her. And she is probably extremely tired of me saying it, but she listens just the same now sometimes.
My lesson to all of you out there is this. If you love someone, TELL THEM. TELL THEM MULTIPLE TIMES.
I don’t care if it is your child, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your friend, a boy or girl you are interested in: IF you LOVE THEM, open your damn mouth and TELL THEM.
It does not hurt saying it, especially after you say it the first time. Trust me on this.
This lesson I am teaching you is just as valid for women as it is for men.
I know that lots of people have trouble saying those three little words. However, I am now no longer one of them.This story will have an updated future happy ending post.
Miley, I love you!
What I am writing is not just how I feel, but this is also a life lesson. A learning experience. Maybe even a life saving story. You should take this story into your heart and head and understand it. Pass it on. Spread the word about it.
This story of my experiences lately should help you or someone you may know.
A few weeks ago I told all of you that I was not currently in a relationship with Miley and I also did not explain why. I am not going to get into the details of what happened, but I am going to tell you the main reason why we are not together.
I never told her that I loved her.
Yes that is correct.
I never said to her face “I LOVE YOU”.
Should I have said it to her face? Yes I should have said it to her a long time ago as in years ago.
Did she know I loved her? Yes she knew I loved her. But she still wanted to hear and see me at the same time say “I LOVE YOU”. Women apparently need verbal communication.
Why didn’t I say that I love you to her? Well the short and sweet answer is that I was scared, scared of getting hurt. You see I have a huge wall around my heart (think Castle wall), with a moat, and a draw bridge. And every single time I have ever even remotely opened up the castle gate, I have gotten my heart crushed by a woman who cheated on me or did something just as bad or worse as cheating. Think of it as a proverbial Trojan Horse, where the woman was the horse and she was full of evil soldiers out to kill me off and do me harm. And I let her in every time expecting a different result and getting murdered by the soldiers inside the Trojan Horse.
Sounds kind of dumb huh? Well it may have been, but I put up a wall to keep even the remote chance of getting hurt to a minimum.
All while I was busy putting up a wall to keep Miley out, all Miley wanted to do was love me. She wanted to fix what was wrong with my world. Her Trojan Horse was full of bunny rabbits, rainbows, butterflies, chocolate, beer, and all kinds of other things which happiness is made. At the same time I thought Miley’s Trojan Horse was full of ninja’s trying to suck the life out of my soul and stab me. And as a result of having my wall up, I never told her I loved her.
We had all kinds of other little problems going on, which had I told her one time I loved her, she would have overlooked the problems and she would still be with me today.
I have since told her millions of times that I love her. And she is probably extremely tired of me saying it, but she listens just the same now sometimes.
My lesson to all of you out there is this. If you love someone, TELL THEM. TELL THEM MULTIPLE TIMES.
I don’t care if it is your child, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your friend, a boy or girl you are interested in: IF you LOVE THEM, open your damn mouth and TELL THEM.
It does not hurt saying it, especially after you say it the first time. Trust me on this.
This lesson I am teaching you is just as valid for women as it is for men.
I know that lots of people have trouble saying those three little words. However, I am now no longer one of them.This story will have an updated future happy ending post.
Miley, I love you!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Spam. And Not The Kind You Can Eat On A Sammich.
Have you ever noticed that we get a shit load of spam emails these days? This spam seems to come from all kinds of mindless people in hopes of getting us to order some kind of wonder drug, spay/neuter our mother, donate money to a Nigerian prince, or get an online degree in proctology.
I seem to get spam pretty bad now and I am not sure why. This seems to mainly happen on my personal email address (no thanks Yahoo) and not on my work email (thanks IT guys). Maybe the fact that one is free and the other is not so free might have something to do with it.
So I think I should share some of these lovely spam emails with you.
Zoloft Health Alert – a nice little email asking if I had taken Zoloft. Don’t “they” have records of all of the people who took it? And if I did take wouldn’t I feel more happy about it?
Yourscorechecker – this was a nice little email reminding me to check out my credit score today. Now normally this is something I would need to know if all of my credit cards weren’t maxed the fuck out.
X-Ray Technician Training – now I would normally not be interested in doing this as a career because I would be too afraid of fucking up, but how fun to would it be to take the x-rays of idiots who get stuff stuck up their shitholes that don’t belong there?
United States Postal Service – this was an email telling me that the letters I had sent were undeliverable and that I needed to click on their link to find them. Now it might just be me but I can’t ever remember the post office emailing me the last time they lost my car note.
BackToSchool – these people say that I can go back to school while at work. Now if I was doing online classes while at work, wouldn’t that interfere with being a smartass on Facebook?
Affordablecellphoneplans – this email promised to save me tons of money on a cell phone plan. Thanks guys but I am already saving a ton of money on a cell phone plan seeing as how my work has been paying my cell phone bill for a decade now.
Christian Singles Site – ok this one promises that they can find me a Christian single woman. But I have already prayed for one CERTAIN Christian single woman, didn’t they get that message from upstairs?
Free Sample Men’s Supplement – this guy promised me that if I took his company’s pills I could “rise to the occasion” and “make her cum over and over again”. Thanks guy for trying to help me out but I don’t even need to take my clothes off to make the woman I love come.
Solar Installation Jobs – this woman promised to find me a job installing solar panels. Was this part of the president’s “green jobs” plan? How many people can afford these things because I don’t know anyone in the ghetto that I live in that can afford solar power?
Rental Property Search – this company promises to help me “narrow down” my apartment search. Now out of all of the spam I have gotten, this one is one that I actually need.
Latinos Online Dating – this guy promised to find me some “hot latin men”. Well shit is this what I am doing wrong and why I am single? I don’t think so Pedro, I am not gay and I am not interested in “latin men”. Now if you want to send me some “hot latin women” maybe we can work out something.
Classmates.com – they wanted to remind me that I have 56 people from the class of 93’ that are searching for me. They also wanted to remind me that they are still running $5.99 a month specials for access to their site. Now I could be mistaken but I think those 56 people who are searching for me found me on that free website out there called FACEBOOK.
Myspace.com – they emailed me to say that I had a message from someone. Ok I hadn’t been on there in years so I went to the site and logged in. I didn’t have an email but I was able to stalk err I mean visit some people who had deleted me from facebook. I was also able to see some really old pictures of Miley (she hadn’t deleted me there-yay) that I had not seen in years. Some of those pictures were HAUGHT.
Social Work Training – now this company guarantees I could get accepted into a school for social work. Little do they know that so many social workers have been to my home, that they already gave me an honorary license in Texas.
Your Dream Job – I think this one goes without saying, but they say they can get me my dream job. Can I get paid to lay in bed and let a woman (ie Miley) run her fingers through my hair all day for 8 hours a day? Or getting paid for getting a bj? Catch my drift, those types of jobs don’t exist.
Bathroom Remodel – I am lost by this one that offered to “pimp my throne room” as I live in a rental unit duplex in the hood. And I am not paying for shit to be done to this forsaken place that not even the land lord gives a rats ass about.
Well I guess that is enough of a sample of some of the fucktarded spam emails that I get.
I have noticed that sites like Facebook make the ads that you see match stuff that you post about. If the net and websites like Facebook, hopefully the spammers out there will catch up as well.
I seem to get spam pretty bad now and I am not sure why. This seems to mainly happen on my personal email address (no thanks Yahoo) and not on my work email (thanks IT guys). Maybe the fact that one is free and the other is not so free might have something to do with it.
So I think I should share some of these lovely spam emails with you.
Zoloft Health Alert – a nice little email asking if I had taken Zoloft. Don’t “they” have records of all of the people who took it? And if I did take wouldn’t I feel more happy about it?
Yourscorechecker – this was a nice little email reminding me to check out my credit score today. Now normally this is something I would need to know if all of my credit cards weren’t maxed the fuck out.
X-Ray Technician Training – now I would normally not be interested in doing this as a career because I would be too afraid of fucking up, but how fun to would it be to take the x-rays of idiots who get stuff stuck up their shitholes that don’t belong there?
United States Postal Service – this was an email telling me that the letters I had sent were undeliverable and that I needed to click on their link to find them. Now it might just be me but I can’t ever remember the post office emailing me the last time they lost my car note.
BackToSchool – these people say that I can go back to school while at work. Now if I was doing online classes while at work, wouldn’t that interfere with being a smartass on Facebook?
Affordablecellphoneplans – this email promised to save me tons of money on a cell phone plan. Thanks guys but I am already saving a ton of money on a cell phone plan seeing as how my work has been paying my cell phone bill for a decade now.
Christian Singles Site – ok this one promises that they can find me a Christian single woman. But I have already prayed for one CERTAIN Christian single woman, didn’t they get that message from upstairs?
Free Sample Men’s Supplement – this guy promised me that if I took his company’s pills I could “rise to the occasion” and “make her cum over and over again”. Thanks guy for trying to help me out but I don’t even need to take my clothes off to make the woman I love come.
Solar Installation Jobs – this woman promised to find me a job installing solar panels. Was this part of the president’s “green jobs” plan? How many people can afford these things because I don’t know anyone in the ghetto that I live in that can afford solar power?
Rental Property Search – this company promises to help me “narrow down” my apartment search. Now out of all of the spam I have gotten, this one is one that I actually need.
Latinos Online Dating – this guy promised to find me some “hot latin men”. Well shit is this what I am doing wrong and why I am single? I don’t think so Pedro, I am not gay and I am not interested in “latin men”. Now if you want to send me some “hot latin women” maybe we can work out something.
Classmates.com – they wanted to remind me that I have 56 people from the class of 93’ that are searching for me. They also wanted to remind me that they are still running $5.99 a month specials for access to their site. Now I could be mistaken but I think those 56 people who are searching for me found me on that free website out there called FACEBOOK.
Myspace.com – they emailed me to say that I had a message from someone. Ok I hadn’t been on there in years so I went to the site and logged in. I didn’t have an email but I was able to stalk err I mean visit some people who had deleted me from facebook. I was also able to see some really old pictures of Miley (she hadn’t deleted me there-yay) that I had not seen in years. Some of those pictures were HAUGHT.
Social Work Training – now this company guarantees I could get accepted into a school for social work. Little do they know that so many social workers have been to my home, that they already gave me an honorary license in Texas.
Your Dream Job – I think this one goes without saying, but they say they can get me my dream job. Can I get paid to lay in bed and let a woman (ie Miley) run her fingers through my hair all day for 8 hours a day? Or getting paid for getting a bj? Catch my drift, those types of jobs don’t exist.
Bathroom Remodel – I am lost by this one that offered to “pimp my throne room” as I live in a rental unit duplex in the hood. And I am not paying for shit to be done to this forsaken place that not even the land lord gives a rats ass about.
Well I guess that is enough of a sample of some of the fucktarded spam emails that I get.
I have noticed that sites like Facebook make the ads that you see match stuff that you post about. If the net and websites like Facebook, hopefully the spammers out there will catch up as well.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Black Friday Should Be Called Stupid Friday
Each and every single year I watch/read the news to see what kind of new low humanity in America has gone to on Black Friday.
It always seems that people lose their damn minds on or around Black Friday in some retail monstrosity type of store.
You always hear stories of someone beating someone up over some toy their kid and only their kid deserves for Christmas. Or someone robbing someone of what they just bought instead of going out and getting a job and doing things the right way.
What makes someone line up at a store for two damn days in the cold to save FOURTY FUCKING DOLLARS? Or what makes someone become brain dead over a $250 dollar laptop? I fail to get it.
But I digress, each year we see some jackass act a fool on Black Friday.
Did you hear about the guy who pepper sprayed people in a store to clear them out away from the $100 Xbox’s? Yes this shit really happened. Some douche bag pepper sprayed people so that he would have a better chance of getting an Xbox that had been reduced by $75.
Here in my town (for the second year in a row mind you) someone got stabbed at the local Walmart in the parking lot. All over a damn front row parking spot.
I am really losing faith in humans, seriously.
How do we go from a day of giving thanks for everything we have, to the very next day beating someone up for some piece-of-crap-plastic-something-or-another-that-is-made-in-fucking-China anyways?
On a brighter note I had to explain to my ever more curious son that Black Friday was not a racist saying and that it was an “accounting term”. He understood but still said jokingly that it was racist because it implies that black people only come out for a sale. His sense of humor is beyond funny for his age.
Wait, what is that you ask? Do I go Black Friday shopping? Umm how is this for an answer, No. Hell No.
No back that up. No is not strong enough of a word. How about this, I would rather be kicked repeatedly in the balls than go anywhere near a store on Black Friday.
It always seems that people lose their damn minds on or around Black Friday in some retail monstrosity type of store.
You always hear stories of someone beating someone up over some toy their kid and only their kid deserves for Christmas. Or someone robbing someone of what they just bought instead of going out and getting a job and doing things the right way.
What makes someone line up at a store for two damn days in the cold to save FOURTY FUCKING DOLLARS? Or what makes someone become brain dead over a $250 dollar laptop? I fail to get it.
But I digress, each year we see some jackass act a fool on Black Friday.
Did you hear about the guy who pepper sprayed people in a store to clear them out away from the $100 Xbox’s? Yes this shit really happened. Some douche bag pepper sprayed people so that he would have a better chance of getting an Xbox that had been reduced by $75.
Here in my town (for the second year in a row mind you) someone got stabbed at the local Walmart in the parking lot. All over a damn front row parking spot.
I am really losing faith in humans, seriously.
How do we go from a day of giving thanks for everything we have, to the very next day beating someone up for some piece-of-crap-plastic-something-or-another-that-is-made-in-fucking-China anyways?
On a brighter note I had to explain to my ever more curious son that Black Friday was not a racist saying and that it was an “accounting term”. He understood but still said jokingly that it was racist because it implies that black people only come out for a sale. His sense of humor is beyond funny for his age.
Wait, what is that you ask? Do I go Black Friday shopping? Umm how is this for an answer, No. Hell No.
No back that up. No is not strong enough of a word. How about this, I would rather be kicked repeatedly in the balls than go anywhere near a store on Black Friday.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Hey Can I Borrow Some Ends?
I am beyond sick of Washington and the great debt ceiling debate that is going on right now.
Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats are behaving. And neither have the desires of the American people at heart. They are both only looking to do what we will get them re-elected in 2012. Well guess what, we are fucked in the process.
The Republicans only want to cut spending, and the Democrats only want to raise taxes.
If you want to stop the bleeding and adding of debt, you have to cut your spending.
If you want to get out of debt, you have to cut spending and also raise revenue. To get out of debt you have to do both in cutting your spending and bring in more money.
It seems simple right? Well apparently the concept that my kids understand is not something that Washington seems to know anything about.
Neither party seems to understand the root cause of how we got into this mess in the first place. And that is by spending too much money.
Now don’t think I am taking sides here (remember I am in independent) because honestly both the Republicans and the Democrats are totally guilty when it comes to spending. For decades now both parties (with both holding the White House and congress at alternating times throughout the last 30 years) have spent us blindly into oblivion. It is time to have a serious talk about it.
We need to cut spending. Like when I was born. But since that time has passed we need to cut spending. I know some of you are fans of big government and some are not. Regardless of where your political affiliations may lay, this spending problem is hurting all of us. There are tons of money that are wasted daily by our government and we need to get better returns for our tax dollars. Because honestly right now we are not getting our money’s worth.
At the same time, we need to increase revenue by closing out some tax loopholes and get everyone paying their fair share in taxes (I am looking at you GE who paid ZERO in taxes in 2010).
Seems like an easy solution right?
Well it is too complicated for Washington because frankly the President’s only solution is to raise taxes and not stop the spending. I mean that is like you having a brother who is a meth addict and instead of putting his ass in rehab to help him (ie fix the cause of the problem); you just go out and buy him more meth. Yes it is that insane.
Needless to say we are screwed and it is not looking good right now for our future.To quote a great movie in Gremlins 2, "I am advising all of my clients to invest in canned goods and shotgun shells."
Neither the Republicans nor the Democrats are behaving. And neither have the desires of the American people at heart. They are both only looking to do what we will get them re-elected in 2012. Well guess what, we are fucked in the process.
The Republicans only want to cut spending, and the Democrats only want to raise taxes.
If you want to stop the bleeding and adding of debt, you have to cut your spending.
If you want to get out of debt, you have to cut spending and also raise revenue. To get out of debt you have to do both in cutting your spending and bring in more money.
It seems simple right? Well apparently the concept that my kids understand is not something that Washington seems to know anything about.
Neither party seems to understand the root cause of how we got into this mess in the first place. And that is by spending too much money.
Now don’t think I am taking sides here (remember I am in independent) because honestly both the Republicans and the Democrats are totally guilty when it comes to spending. For decades now both parties (with both holding the White House and congress at alternating times throughout the last 30 years) have spent us blindly into oblivion. It is time to have a serious talk about it.
We need to cut spending. Like when I was born. But since that time has passed we need to cut spending. I know some of you are fans of big government and some are not. Regardless of where your political affiliations may lay, this spending problem is hurting all of us. There are tons of money that are wasted daily by our government and we need to get better returns for our tax dollars. Because honestly right now we are not getting our money’s worth.
At the same time, we need to increase revenue by closing out some tax loopholes and get everyone paying their fair share in taxes (I am looking at you GE who paid ZERO in taxes in 2010).
Seems like an easy solution right?
Well it is too complicated for Washington because frankly the President’s only solution is to raise taxes and not stop the spending. I mean that is like you having a brother who is a meth addict and instead of putting his ass in rehab to help him (ie fix the cause of the problem); you just go out and buy him more meth. Yes it is that insane.
Needless to say we are screwed and it is not looking good right now for our future.To quote a great movie in Gremlins 2, "I am advising all of my clients to invest in canned goods and shotgun shells."
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Oh No She Didn’t !!!!
Men you may not want to read this if you just ate your lunch. Or breakfast.
I don’t know if you heard about this or not, but this woman cut off her husband’s penis and stuffed it down the garbage disposal and turned it on.
Yes you read that correctly, she cut off his cock and put it down the garbage disposal and destroyed it.
Ouch.
Double ouch.
This whole story is beyond disturbing.
The guy was apparently divorcing thisbitch/cunt/crazy demonic piece of shit woman and allowed her to continue to live at the house until she could find a place to live (mistake #1-you kick them out).
At some point she drugged his dinner (mistake #2-you never eat food cooked by crazy bitches) and the man went to lay down (mistake #3-never turn your back on a crazy bitch) because he felt ill. Shortly after going to bed the man passed out.
It was at that point that she tied him up, cut his dick off, and proceeded to the kitchen where she put it down the disposal.
The woman called 911 asking for medical help for the man. The police showed up and arrested her. She told police that he deserved it. She was charged with false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, and aggravated mayhem. Now why does aggravated mayhem sound like that dude from the Allstate commercials.
The man was taken to a hospital where they were able to control the bleeding. A poor cop had to retrieve what was left of the penis from the sink (now there is a job I am very thankful I don’t have-can you imagine coming home from work and explaining how your day was?) and it is unclear if they will be able to re-attach it. If they can’t re-attach it they will be able to make a prosthetic penis.
Now I have a few comments about this. Ladies, it is not ok to do this. I don’t care if he fucked your mother and you walked in on it, nobody deserves this. You get a divorce and end it. Period. End. Of. Fucking. Story. The only time this is ever allowed is if the man is beating you and you slice it off to protect your life while he is beating you. That is the only time it is ever acceptable to do this.
There should be a law for this to where they can charge someone who does this kind of heinous crime with capital murder. Hey Trash did you just say capital murder? Hell yes I did. She killed his sex life. Forever. So yes this should be a crime punishable by death. Yes I am serious.
I feel sorry for this man. I really do. I have not seen an update to the original story to see of they were able to save his penis or if he had to have a prosthetic penis attached. But after seeing this picture of a garbage disposal below, would you really want it back?
Poor man, I will drink a beer, light a candle, and play Taps in your honor tonight.
I don’t know if you heard about this or not, but this woman cut off her husband’s penis and stuffed it down the garbage disposal and turned it on.
Yes you read that correctly, she cut off his cock and put it down the garbage disposal and destroyed it.
Ouch.
Double ouch.
This whole story is beyond disturbing.
The guy was apparently divorcing this
At some point she drugged his dinner (mistake #2-you never eat food cooked by crazy bitches) and the man went to lay down (mistake #3-never turn your back on a crazy bitch) because he felt ill. Shortly after going to bed the man passed out.
It was at that point that she tied him up, cut his dick off, and proceeded to the kitchen where she put it down the disposal.
The woman called 911 asking for medical help for the man. The police showed up and arrested her. She told police that he deserved it. She was charged with false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, and aggravated mayhem. Now why does aggravated mayhem sound like that dude from the Allstate commercials.
The man was taken to a hospital where they were able to control the bleeding. A poor cop had to retrieve what was left of the penis from the sink (now there is a job I am very thankful I don’t have-can you imagine coming home from work and explaining how your day was?) and it is unclear if they will be able to re-attach it. If they can’t re-attach it they will be able to make a prosthetic penis.
Now I have a few comments about this. Ladies, it is not ok to do this. I don’t care if he fucked your mother and you walked in on it, nobody deserves this. You get a divorce and end it. Period. End. Of. Fucking. Story. The only time this is ever allowed is if the man is beating you and you slice it off to protect your life while he is beating you. That is the only time it is ever acceptable to do this.
There should be a law for this to where they can charge someone who does this kind of heinous crime with capital murder. Hey Trash did you just say capital murder? Hell yes I did. She killed his sex life. Forever. So yes this should be a crime punishable by death. Yes I am serious.
I feel sorry for this man. I really do. I have not seen an update to the original story to see of they were able to save his penis or if he had to have a prosthetic penis attached. But after seeing this picture of a garbage disposal below, would you really want it back?
Poor man, I will drink a beer, light a candle, and play Taps in your honor tonight.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
My Thoughts On Casey Anthony
Unless you are dead you have heard about Casey Anthony, the death of her daughter, the trial, and the not guilty verdict in her trial.
Well as all of you who read my blog regularly know that I have an opinion on anything and everything, and this subject is no different.
So here are a few thoughts to think about with regards to this whole thing because I seriously think that America has lost its collective mind about this case.
Yes she was found not guilty of murder. Get over it. The jury found that there was not sufficient evidence to convict her of capital murder. Yes I know there have been people convicted on little to no evidence before (think Scott Peterson) but in this case there was no way that with the evidence presented that they could convict her of murder. They couldn’t even prove how the child died and that right there means they couldn’t convict her of murder (ie if it was an accident and covered up that is not murder). Did she actually do it, I am pretty sure that she did but it couldn’t be proven.
The justice system is not perfect but yes it worked in this case. It is not broken as the news media has suggested. The jury did the right thing. Remember it is better that a guilty person go free than to have an innocent person behind bars or executed.
The prosecution should have done a much better job with this case. They should have charged her with a lesser crime than capital murder where the burden of proof would have been less. They could have got a conviction with a lesser charge. I blame them for this complete bumbling of this case.
A not guilty verdict does not equal innocent. It just simply means that someone is not guilty in a court of law. Remember OJ Simpson, yea he was found not guilty but we all know he killed his ex wife. The same statement about OJ applies here with Casey Anthony and her case. Yes we know she had something to do with it, she lied her ass off to the police about this from start to finish.
Shame on Casey Anthony for letting her defense team openly accuse her father of molesting her in court while he was on the witness stand. What a complete cunt for that. I don’t care if her father fucked her or not, that fact remains that is not an excuse for killing a two year old kid or lying to the police.
And all the people who have been threatening the judge, the jury, the lawyers involved, and Casey Anthony herself, you need to stop. Violence is not the answer here. The only acceptable form of violence would have been if she had been convicted of capital murder and would have been put to death as a result.
I waited and waited for Nancy Grace’s head to fucking explode after the not guilty verdict was read, but alas it did not happen.
Look I know all of you know me and how I am with crimes against children, and you are right that I think they deserve horrible things to happen to them. The same week that the trial ended a man in Ohio raped his 6 month old baby. Yes he raped his own son. So trust me when I say that people like this man and Casey Anthony will get theirs in the end.
Casey has pissed off more than just us. She has pissed off God/mother nature/higher power as lightening struck a tree at the site where Kaley’s remains were found just after Casey was sentenced. But more so than God, she has pissed off the biggest bitch on the planet and that is Karma. And we all know that Karma catches up to people in the long run. Hell just look at OJ and where he is now. Casey will fuck up again and she will get hers.
She will have to live underground for a very long time since so many people want to do her harm. She was offered a spot in a porno and they took the offer back because so many people were upset about it. So you know you are one hated bitch when you can’t even do porn. The only job left that she can do is become a two bit stripper.
So everyone please take a deep breath and put your faith in Karma as that bitch will take care of her. And when Casey gets to hell, just take pride in the fact that she will have to spend eternity sitting next to Barney the dinosaur, Saddam Hussein, and Michael Jackson with the only songs being played are from Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand.
On a side note, why am I always the voice of reason?
Well as all of you who read my blog regularly know that I have an opinion on anything and everything, and this subject is no different.
So here are a few thoughts to think about with regards to this whole thing because I seriously think that America has lost its collective mind about this case.
Yes she was found not guilty of murder. Get over it. The jury found that there was not sufficient evidence to convict her of capital murder. Yes I know there have been people convicted on little to no evidence before (think Scott Peterson) but in this case there was no way that with the evidence presented that they could convict her of murder. They couldn’t even prove how the child died and that right there means they couldn’t convict her of murder (ie if it was an accident and covered up that is not murder). Did she actually do it, I am pretty sure that she did but it couldn’t be proven.
The justice system is not perfect but yes it worked in this case. It is not broken as the news media has suggested. The jury did the right thing. Remember it is better that a guilty person go free than to have an innocent person behind bars or executed.
The prosecution should have done a much better job with this case. They should have charged her with a lesser crime than capital murder where the burden of proof would have been less. They could have got a conviction with a lesser charge. I blame them for this complete bumbling of this case.
A not guilty verdict does not equal innocent. It just simply means that someone is not guilty in a court of law. Remember OJ Simpson, yea he was found not guilty but we all know he killed his ex wife. The same statement about OJ applies here with Casey Anthony and her case. Yes we know she had something to do with it, she lied her ass off to the police about this from start to finish.
Shame on Casey Anthony for letting her defense team openly accuse her father of molesting her in court while he was on the witness stand. What a complete cunt for that. I don’t care if her father fucked her or not, that fact remains that is not an excuse for killing a two year old kid or lying to the police.
And all the people who have been threatening the judge, the jury, the lawyers involved, and Casey Anthony herself, you need to stop. Violence is not the answer here. The only acceptable form of violence would have been if she had been convicted of capital murder and would have been put to death as a result.
I waited and waited for Nancy Grace’s head to fucking explode after the not guilty verdict was read, but alas it did not happen.
Look I know all of you know me and how I am with crimes against children, and you are right that I think they deserve horrible things to happen to them. The same week that the trial ended a man in Ohio raped his 6 month old baby. Yes he raped his own son. So trust me when I say that people like this man and Casey Anthony will get theirs in the end.
Casey has pissed off more than just us. She has pissed off God/mother nature/higher power as lightening struck a tree at the site where Kaley’s remains were found just after Casey was sentenced. But more so than God, she has pissed off the biggest bitch on the planet and that is Karma. And we all know that Karma catches up to people in the long run. Hell just look at OJ and where he is now. Casey will fuck up again and she will get hers.
She will have to live underground for a very long time since so many people want to do her harm. She was offered a spot in a porno and they took the offer back because so many people were upset about it. So you know you are one hated bitch when you can’t even do porn. The only job left that she can do is become a two bit stripper.
So everyone please take a deep breath and put your faith in Karma as that bitch will take care of her. And when Casey gets to hell, just take pride in the fact that she will have to spend eternity sitting next to Barney the dinosaur, Saddam Hussein, and Michael Jackson with the only songs being played are from Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand.
On a side note, why am I always the voice of reason?
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I Am An Inspiration. Apparently.
One of the blogs that I follow, My Joy Project posted an interesting post the other day.
Joy was listing the way that she wants to feel with a man. The list included adored, safe, desired, valued, wanted, appreciated, loved, and respected. The list is actually a pretty good list when you think about it.
I commented on her post that most if not all women want/demand to feel that way, but really if ever make men feel the same way. I also told her in an email that men want to feel that way as well, but we don’t say it out loud. Well all of those things except safe, unless you are dating/married to one of those body building weight lifting type women.
So ladies and men folk, what do you think. Is that list a list of reasonable things to want to feel from your partner?
So my comment to her in her original post caused her to write a post today about what she as a woman wants to give a man (I hope it includes a naughty email to me with nice pictures of her since I am pimping out her blog).
So head over to My Joy Project to see what little Oilfield Trash inspired her to write.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
This Is True Tragedy
If you think about it there have been a lot of tragedies in recent times. The earthquake and resulting tsunamis in Japan, the earthquake in Haiti, Justin Beiber, flooding in Pakistan, George Bush getting elected not one but two times, all of these recent tornados, the Sopranos ending, Hurricane Katrina, and the events of 9/11 are all good examples of recent tragedies.
And if you look back over recorded history, there have been tons of tragedies that have taken place long term. The sinking of the Titanic, World War 2, the eruption of Mt Vesuvius, the Cold War, Winter Olympics, Judas selling out Jesus, the Detroit Lions, and the fall of the Roman Empire are all great examples of tragedies throughout recorded history.
But all of those pale in comparison to this tragedy I am going to tell you about.
How in the fucking world is one of my favorite bands Rush not in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame?
Seriously.
Yes they are not in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame. Nor have they ever been nominated.
This has to be some kind of crime being committed here.
Some kind of conspiracy bigger than the JFK one has to be at work in Cleveland.
Love them or hate them, they are talented.
The singer Geddy Lee is in the top five of bass players in music all time if not number one. He inspired Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and the guy in Primus. I have him at number one for bass players all time.
The drummer Neil Peart is in the top five all time of drummers. I personally have him at number two only slightly behind John Bonham from Led Zeppelin.
So here is a little list of bands/singers that are in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame that I don’t think should be there before Rush.
U2 (they were still in junior high school when Rush started), Neil Diamond (ok he has been melting panties for a long time but I don’t like his music), Dr John (who? Exactly), Abba (yea I know a lot of people love them but what have they done since the 70’s?), Metallica (they should go but after Rush), Run DMC (they weren’t even smoking weed yet when Rush started), Madonna (she hadn’t lost her virginity or thought about making an album when Rush started), John Melloncamp, REM (Michael Stipe was straight when Rush got together and no I am not gay bashing), Sex Pistols (while they were influential but they were only together for TWO YEARS), Prince (he had a real name when Rush got together), The Clash (had not discovered teen angst when Rush started recording), Bruce Springsteen (no need to say anything), and Ike Turner (all he did was beat Tina). There are many other people I could list but I couldn’t think of something sarcastic to say about the rest of them who don’t deserve to be in the Hall.
Do you see how ridiculous that list of people who have gotten in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame is? I think Rush should have gone in there a long time ago. And other people agree with me.
When Metallica was inducted a couple of years ago, their lead singer during his speech said it was disgraceful that Metallica was going in before Rush. Yes he really said it because I watched that on tv.
Rush has put out 19 studio albums, they have put out multiple live albums, they have been together for 37 years, they still sell out every where that they play in concert, and two of them are in the top two all time for their respective instruments. Oh and they are also the best thing to come out of Canada besides hockey, Kokanee beer, and Boston Pizza!
So Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame, please get your fucking heads out of your asses and get them in the Hall. Fix this tragedy now!!!!
And if you look back over recorded history, there have been tons of tragedies that have taken place long term. The sinking of the Titanic, World War 2, the eruption of Mt Vesuvius, the Cold War, Winter Olympics, Judas selling out Jesus, the Detroit Lions, and the fall of the Roman Empire are all great examples of tragedies throughout recorded history.
But all of those pale in comparison to this tragedy I am going to tell you about.
How in the fucking world is one of my favorite bands Rush not in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame?
Seriously.
Yes they are not in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame. Nor have they ever been nominated.
This has to be some kind of crime being committed here.
Some kind of conspiracy bigger than the JFK one has to be at work in Cleveland.
Love them or hate them, they are talented.
The singer Geddy Lee is in the top five of bass players in music all time if not number one. He inspired Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and the guy in Primus. I have him at number one for bass players all time.
The drummer Neil Peart is in the top five all time of drummers. I personally have him at number two only slightly behind John Bonham from Led Zeppelin.
So here is a little list of bands/singers that are in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame that I don’t think should be there before Rush.
U2 (they were still in junior high school when Rush started), Neil Diamond (ok he has been melting panties for a long time but I don’t like his music), Dr John (who? Exactly), Abba (yea I know a lot of people love them but what have they done since the 70’s?), Metallica (they should go but after Rush), Run DMC (they weren’t even smoking weed yet when Rush started), Madonna (she hadn’t lost her virginity or thought about making an album when Rush started), John Melloncamp, REM (Michael Stipe was straight when Rush got together and no I am not gay bashing), Sex Pistols (while they were influential but they were only together for TWO YEARS), Prince (he had a real name when Rush got together), The Clash (had not discovered teen angst when Rush started recording), Bruce Springsteen (no need to say anything), and Ike Turner (all he did was beat Tina). There are many other people I could list but I couldn’t think of something sarcastic to say about the rest of them who don’t deserve to be in the Hall.
Do you see how ridiculous that list of people who have gotten in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame is? I think Rush should have gone in there a long time ago. And other people agree with me.
When Metallica was inducted a couple of years ago, their lead singer during his speech said it was disgraceful that Metallica was going in before Rush. Yes he really said it because I watched that on tv.
Rush has put out 19 studio albums, they have put out multiple live albums, they have been together for 37 years, they still sell out every where that they play in concert, and two of them are in the top two all time for their respective instruments. Oh and they are also the best thing to come out of Canada besides hockey, Kokanee beer, and Boston Pizza!
So Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame, please get your fucking heads out of your asses and get them in the Hall. Fix this tragedy now!!!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Don’t Mind Me, I Am Busy Reading
The UPS guy was nice enough to deliver and leave a package on my porch yesterday.
You see I bought this new book online yesterday from Amazon and I have been eagerly waiting for it to come so I can read it.
This book is the mother of all self help books.
Basically this book will help you with anything that is wrong with you whether or not you actually have a problem.
More to the point, this book is the best book ever written in recorded history.
No it is not a bible.
What is this great book you ask?
The book is called “Understanding Women. Volume 1”
The only problem with the book that I can see so far is that it was written by a woman. This explains why it is 12,745 pages long, written in very fine small print, and also not available on Kindle.
I will be back in six or so months to write a review for you.
You see I bought this new book online yesterday from Amazon and I have been eagerly waiting for it to come so I can read it.
This book is the mother of all self help books.
Basically this book will help you with anything that is wrong with you whether or not you actually have a problem.
More to the point, this book is the best book ever written in recorded history.
No it is not a bible.
What is this great book you ask?
The book is called “Understanding Women. Volume 1”
The only problem with the book that I can see so far is that it was written by a woman. This explains why it is 12,745 pages long, written in very fine small print, and also not available on Kindle.
I will be back in six or so months to write a review for you.
Friday, July 1, 2011
What Ever Happened To Quality?
Have you noticed that quality is not job number one in American anymore? No one seems to take pride in the quality of their work.
You can see it all over the place from the board room to the person working at the drive through at McDonald’s. One of the places you can see it most frequently are in newspapers and the quality (and lack thereof) in their writing. Don’t bash my grammar mistakes; I am not paid to write for a living where other people are reading it.
Take this picture that a friend of mine from Facebook took here in Houston a while back.
Who is the nimrod who put both of those signs up? Maybe one sign went up before the other which I could see happening. But why not take the other one down? And how much do you want to bet that the city ordered one of those two signs for another location (which wastes money by the way). I mean which sign is it correct because it sure as fuck can’t be both.
Is not there not someone who even looks at what they are doing while on the job?
I have a sneaking suspicion that if people put more quality into what they do for a living maybe our country would be a better place. And maybe, just maybe America would be a better place.
You can see it all over the place from the board room to the person working at the drive through at McDonald’s. One of the places you can see it most frequently are in newspapers and the quality (and lack thereof) in their writing. Don’t bash my grammar mistakes; I am not paid to write for a living where other people are reading it.
Take this picture that a friend of mine from Facebook took here in Houston a while back.
Who is the nimrod who put both of those signs up? Maybe one sign went up before the other which I could see happening. But why not take the other one down? And how much do you want to bet that the city ordered one of those two signs for another location (which wastes money by the way). I mean which sign is it correct because it sure as fuck can’t be both.
Is not there not someone who even looks at what they are doing while on the job?
I have a sneaking suspicion that if people put more quality into what they do for a living maybe our country would be a better place. And maybe, just maybe America would be a better place.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
My Weiner Has A First Name
It is Anthony.
You remember that song for the Oscar Meyer hot dogs right?
Anyways, if you did not already know it Congressman Anthony Weiner (no joke here that is really his name) was recently busted for sending naughty pictures of his weiner to a large number of ladies across America.
First it came out that he had sent a topless picture of himself to a college student in Washington State. When that hit the news, Weiner said that his phone was hacked and someone sent it to the lady.
Then he came out of said that the picture was not him and that someone stole his phone and sent it. Yet he never contacted police.
A week later it came out that he sent more nekkid pictures of himself to a woman here in Texas. He then denied it and said that it was not him.
Later on he said the picture may have been him, but someone else had sent it.
After another week more women came forward with pictures of his weiner that Weiner had sent to them. One woman even had a transcript of his yahoo chat with him.
Weiner then came out and admitted that he had lied the whole time and that he was sorry he had done it. What he meant to say was that he was sorry that he got caught.
He then said he was going to check himself into rehab for what happened. I laughed because I did not know that they could treat “dumbass” in rehab. He should have taken his 534 colleagues from Congress with him if they can indeed treat “dumbass”.
And a couple of weeks ago Weiner resigned from Congress.
Now I am not mad at him for sending pictures of his weiner to ladies, I mean whatever floats your boat. I am not even mad at him for lying to the public during his press conference. I mean if you look at the job description for a politician it has lie, cheat, and steal as numbers one through three for their responsibilities.
I am mad at him for not being a better liar. I mean we hold politicians to a very high standard of lying here in this country. His lies were pretty weak in my opinion. He went through the trouble to lie to the American people, why didn’t he lie to the women he was sending a picture of his weiner to? Hasn’t this guy ever heard of a fake yahoo email address or about lying about who you are online? You could lie to us but not the skanks you emailed your weiner to? Weiner has no common sense when it comes to lying and this is why he should have resigned instead the reasons he listed for doing so.
I am also a little mad at him because he was married. He has a smoking hot wife at home and he was sexting with multiple women and taking pictures of his weiner and sending it to them. If I was married to that hot lady, my penis would never be out of her vagina long enough to take a picture of it. Here is another man in a position of power cheating on his lady (yes what he did is cheating in my book), and a beautiful lady at that. Sheesh.
I do find all of this very funny though given that his last name is Weiner. You couldn’t write better shit than this if you were comedian. On a side note, Anthony Weiner looks a lot like Beavis don't you think?
You remember that song for the Oscar Meyer hot dogs right?
Anyways, if you did not already know it Congressman Anthony Weiner (no joke here that is really his name) was recently busted for sending naughty pictures of his weiner to a large number of ladies across America.
First it came out that he had sent a topless picture of himself to a college student in Washington State. When that hit the news, Weiner said that his phone was hacked and someone sent it to the lady.
Then he came out of said that the picture was not him and that someone stole his phone and sent it. Yet he never contacted police.
A week later it came out that he sent more nekkid pictures of himself to a woman here in Texas. He then denied it and said that it was not him.
Later on he said the picture may have been him, but someone else had sent it.
After another week more women came forward with pictures of his weiner that Weiner had sent to them. One woman even had a transcript of his yahoo chat with him.
Weiner then came out and admitted that he had lied the whole time and that he was sorry he had done it. What he meant to say was that he was sorry that he got caught.
He then said he was going to check himself into rehab for what happened. I laughed because I did not know that they could treat “dumbass” in rehab. He should have taken his 534 colleagues from Congress with him if they can indeed treat “dumbass”.
And a couple of weeks ago Weiner resigned from Congress.
Now I am not mad at him for sending pictures of his weiner to ladies, I mean whatever floats your boat. I am not even mad at him for lying to the public during his press conference. I mean if you look at the job description for a politician it has lie, cheat, and steal as numbers one through three for their responsibilities.
I am mad at him for not being a better liar. I mean we hold politicians to a very high standard of lying here in this country. His lies were pretty weak in my opinion. He went through the trouble to lie to the American people, why didn’t he lie to the women he was sending a picture of his weiner to? Hasn’t this guy ever heard of a fake yahoo email address or about lying about who you are online? You could lie to us but not the skanks you emailed your weiner to? Weiner has no common sense when it comes to lying and this is why he should have resigned instead the reasons he listed for doing so.
I am also a little mad at him because he was married. He has a smoking hot wife at home and he was sexting with multiple women and taking pictures of his weiner and sending it to them. If I was married to that hot lady, my penis would never be out of her vagina long enough to take a picture of it. Here is another man in a position of power cheating on his lady (yes what he did is cheating in my book), and a beautiful lady at that. Sheesh.
I do find all of this very funny though given that his last name is Weiner. You couldn’t write better shit than this if you were comedian. On a side note, Anthony Weiner looks a lot like Beavis don't you think?
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Hey Blogger, Can I Ask You A Question?
Dear Blogger,
I know that we have already had a couple of chats now. We talked about how you got drunk one night and didn’t show up to work and we have talked about how you could improve yourself.
I want to now talk to you about awards.
I love getting awards from my followers and posting about them. Most of the awards are given out in such a way that you know why you are getting them and how you were chosen to receive said awards.
I am just curious about how you go about BON’ing people. You know the Blogs Of Note that you post about. How do you go about picking a blog for this distinguished honor? I have looked at a lot of the blogs that you have BON’d and I can’t find a single way that you pick them.
I have noticed that the number of followers can be very low or very high for a blog that you pick. Some of the blogs have a lot of posts and some of them have very little posts. I have seen that some of the blogs you have picked have just started blogging and some have been around for years. I have also noticed that you pick some blogs that are here on blogger and others that are not even related to blogger.
Some of the blogs have been worthy of being BON’d while some of the others have not in my mind been worthy. I mean you BON’d the Netflix blog for fucks sake.
Can you just tell me how you go about picking a blog to be BON’d? Because I can’t for the life of me figure out your selection process. Do you just get drunk and blindly pick them or is there some actual process that you go through?
We are all curious.
Thanks a lot.
Your Pal,
Oilfield Trash
I know that we have already had a couple of chats now. We talked about how you got drunk one night and didn’t show up to work and we have talked about how you could improve yourself.
I want to now talk to you about awards.
I love getting awards from my followers and posting about them. Most of the awards are given out in such a way that you know why you are getting them and how you were chosen to receive said awards.
I am just curious about how you go about BON’ing people. You know the Blogs Of Note that you post about. How do you go about picking a blog for this distinguished honor? I have looked at a lot of the blogs that you have BON’d and I can’t find a single way that you pick them.
I have noticed that the number of followers can be very low or very high for a blog that you pick. Some of the blogs have a lot of posts and some of them have very little posts. I have seen that some of the blogs you have picked have just started blogging and some have been around for years. I have also noticed that you pick some blogs that are here on blogger and others that are not even related to blogger.
Some of the blogs have been worthy of being BON’d while some of the others have not in my mind been worthy. I mean you BON’d the Netflix blog for fucks sake.
Can you just tell me how you go about picking a blog to be BON’d? Because I can’t for the life of me figure out your selection process. Do you just get drunk and blindly pick them or is there some actual process that you go through?
We are all curious.
Thanks a lot.
Your Pal,
Oilfield Trash
Monday, June 27, 2011
Ban Lemonade
A little over a week ago the US Open golf tournament took place just outside of Washington DC in Bethesda, Maryland.
Sometime during the tournament, a group of kids decided to set up shop just outside the golf course and sell lemonade. In this country having a lemonade stand is a rite of passage as lemonade and lemonade stands are just as American as apple pie, baseball, and hot dogs are.
The aforementioned kids were going to sell the lemonade in bulk (they had coolers and coolers) and donate all of the money to children’s charities. Seems like a noble cause right?
That is until the Montgomery County stepped in and shut down the kids lemonade stand. You see the county had placed a ban on vendors within county limits. The county officials also slapped the kids parents with a nice little $500 fine for the “violation”. The county said the ban was in place due to all of the traffic and congestion surrounding the golf course where the tournament was located.
And while the county was shutting down the kids lemonade stand, the county was selling hundreds of vendor permits to local home owners at $300 per permit that would allow the home owners to charge people attending the tournament for parking on their property. Some of the home owners reportedly made over $10,000 over the course of the four day golf tournament.
The inspector who shut the kids down was quoted as saying, “Cute little kids making five or ten dollars is a little bit different than making hundreds.”
So little kids can’t sell lemonade to raise money for charity because you won’t give them a permit, but you will let home owners buy a permit to make thousands of dollars for themselves. Make money for charity is bad and making money for your selfish ass self is perfectly ok.
Congratulations Montgomery County officials, you are officially a huge bunch of fucking douche bags.
At least you taught these young kids how fucked up government bureaucracy can be. I wonder if the kids were selling the lemonade for their own profit if they would have allowed them to keep their stand up and running.
And some of my readers wonder why I detest local, state, and federal government.
Well when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and sell it at a lemonade stand. But make sure you have a fucking permit first.
Sometime during the tournament, a group of kids decided to set up shop just outside the golf course and sell lemonade. In this country having a lemonade stand is a rite of passage as lemonade and lemonade stands are just as American as apple pie, baseball, and hot dogs are.
The aforementioned kids were going to sell the lemonade in bulk (they had coolers and coolers) and donate all of the money to children’s charities. Seems like a noble cause right?
That is until the Montgomery County stepped in and shut down the kids lemonade stand. You see the county had placed a ban on vendors within county limits. The county officials also slapped the kids parents with a nice little $500 fine for the “violation”. The county said the ban was in place due to all of the traffic and congestion surrounding the golf course where the tournament was located.
And while the county was shutting down the kids lemonade stand, the county was selling hundreds of vendor permits to local home owners at $300 per permit that would allow the home owners to charge people attending the tournament for parking on their property. Some of the home owners reportedly made over $10,000 over the course of the four day golf tournament.
The inspector who shut the kids down was quoted as saying, “Cute little kids making five or ten dollars is a little bit different than making hundreds.”
So little kids can’t sell lemonade to raise money for charity because you won’t give them a permit, but you will let home owners buy a permit to make thousands of dollars for themselves. Make money for charity is bad and making money for your selfish ass self is perfectly ok.
Congratulations Montgomery County officials, you are officially a huge bunch of fucking douche bags.
At least you taught these young kids how fucked up government bureaucracy can be. I wonder if the kids were selling the lemonade for their own profit if they would have allowed them to keep their stand up and running.
And some of my readers wonder why I detest local, state, and federal government.
Well when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and sell it at a lemonade stand. But make sure you have a fucking permit first.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Free Food, Why Thank You
I am not sure if you have read this story or heard about it on the news.
Up in Michigan a man won $2 million dollars in some kind of lottery. This was pretty cool if you ask me, and I am a little bit jealous to be honest with you.
The messed up part of all of this is that despite winning $2 million dollars, the State of Michigan is not cutting off his food stamps. Wait Oilfield Trash did you just say that this guy won $2 million dollars and is still getting food stamps? Why yes I did just say that.
I have a couple of problems with this whole thing.
First the federal government has guidelines and rules that govern the food stamp program as far as eligibility goes. You have to apparently be under a certain dollar amount of income in order to qualify for the free food stamp program. Federal rules do not count lottery or gambling winnings towards the income amount used to determine income eligibility requirements for food stamps. And as such the State of Michigan could not revoke this man’s food stamps. For those of you who think that the government is the best thing on the planet and should completely run our lives, where is the common sense in this fucking mess? There are people who need food stamps and we are using our tax dollars to buy the groceries of a fucking lottery winner. Shouldn’t government “regulations” make sense because this one does not make sense to me at all?
The second problem I have with this is the guy who won the lottery to begin with. He has told the media, “If you are going to…try to make me feel bad, you aren’t going to do it.” You got a million fucking dollars after tax and you don’t have any problems with taking my tax dollars on groceries you are more than capable to afford. You sir are a complete fucking douche bag in my opinion. Sadly our country is full of people like this who apparently have no conscious what so ever.
This ladies and gentlemen are two problems of just a million or so that our country faces today. The fucked up government and douche bags with no sense of right and wrong. Now I know that this guy has only taken a thousand or so dollars in free “money” but that is beside the point, this shit adds up. And given our countries dire financial circumstances at the moment, this jackass should be forced to repay what benefits he has received.
Just because you can do something, does not mean that you should do it.
Up in Michigan a man won $2 million dollars in some kind of lottery. This was pretty cool if you ask me, and I am a little bit jealous to be honest with you.
The messed up part of all of this is that despite winning $2 million dollars, the State of Michigan is not cutting off his food stamps. Wait Oilfield Trash did you just say that this guy won $2 million dollars and is still getting food stamps? Why yes I did just say that.
I have a couple of problems with this whole thing.
First the federal government has guidelines and rules that govern the food stamp program as far as eligibility goes. You have to apparently be under a certain dollar amount of income in order to qualify for the free food stamp program. Federal rules do not count lottery or gambling winnings towards the income amount used to determine income eligibility requirements for food stamps. And as such the State of Michigan could not revoke this man’s food stamps. For those of you who think that the government is the best thing on the planet and should completely run our lives, where is the common sense in this fucking mess? There are people who need food stamps and we are using our tax dollars to buy the groceries of a fucking lottery winner. Shouldn’t government “regulations” make sense because this one does not make sense to me at all?
The second problem I have with this is the guy who won the lottery to begin with. He has told the media, “If you are going to…try to make me feel bad, you aren’t going to do it.” You got a million fucking dollars after tax and you don’t have any problems with taking my tax dollars on groceries you are more than capable to afford. You sir are a complete fucking douche bag in my opinion. Sadly our country is full of people like this who apparently have no conscious what so ever.
This ladies and gentlemen are two problems of just a million or so that our country faces today. The fucked up government and douche bags with no sense of right and wrong. Now I know that this guy has only taken a thousand or so dollars in free “money” but that is beside the point, this shit adds up. And given our countries dire financial circumstances at the moment, this jackass should be forced to repay what benefits he has received.
Just because you can do something, does not mean that you should do it.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Fathers Day Gifts
Well in case you didn’t know it, Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday. So now is the time to get yourself up off of the couch and get your dad a nice little something for Father’s Day.
I am here to help you give you a little advice in getting your dad a gift. Now this advice is not for buying a dead beat douche bag father a gift. This advice is for getting a gift for the fathers out there that have and continue to handle their business. And chances are since he is such a hard working man; he is not appreciated throughout the year so make this gift a nice one.
Now if you are buying your dad a gift or if you are a woman buying your husband a gift from you and the kids whatever you do follow this advice. Do not under any circumstances buy him a god damned neck tie. Seriously no man likes and enjoys wearing a tie; men only wear them when they have to wear them. You show me a man who enjoys wearing a neck tie and I will show you a man who needs a vasectomy performed by me kicking him in the balls. Women don’t like to wear tampons because they want to; they wear them because they have to. Now you wouldn’t buy a woman a box of tampons for Mother’s Day would you? So don’t even think about buying a neck tie for your dad for Father’s Day.
Since neck ties are out, you should get your dad something that he likes. You should already know what you dad likes, and if you don’t shame on you.
If he likes to fish, get him some fishing related stuff or get him a gift card to some place like Academy or Bass Pro Shops. If he likes movies, get him a Netflix membership or a gift card so he can buy some movies. Basically what I am saying is that you should get him something that he actually likes and that is practical in the sense that he will actually use it.
In addition to getting him a gift, you should also cook him his favorite meal. Or take him out to his favorite restaurant to eat. And let him be completely lazy on Father’s Day as well. He should not have to do anything at all but be lazy and enjoy the day.
And if you can’t find him a decent gift, then you could always get him a gift card to his favorite strip club so he can get a lap dance and some beer since chances are if he is married he isn’t getting any love at home. You know because nothing says Happy Fathers Day like a lap dance and a nine dollar Bud Light.
So there you have it, happy shopping!
I am here to help you give you a little advice in getting your dad a gift. Now this advice is not for buying a dead beat douche bag father a gift. This advice is for getting a gift for the fathers out there that have and continue to handle their business. And chances are since he is such a hard working man; he is not appreciated throughout the year so make this gift a nice one.
Now if you are buying your dad a gift or if you are a woman buying your husband a gift from you and the kids whatever you do follow this advice. Do not under any circumstances buy him a god damned neck tie. Seriously no man likes and enjoys wearing a tie; men only wear them when they have to wear them. You show me a man who enjoys wearing a neck tie and I will show you a man who needs a vasectomy performed by me kicking him in the balls. Women don’t like to wear tampons because they want to; they wear them because they have to. Now you wouldn’t buy a woman a box of tampons for Mother’s Day would you? So don’t even think about buying a neck tie for your dad for Father’s Day.
Since neck ties are out, you should get your dad something that he likes. You should already know what you dad likes, and if you don’t shame on you.
If he likes to fish, get him some fishing related stuff or get him a gift card to some place like Academy or Bass Pro Shops. If he likes movies, get him a Netflix membership or a gift card so he can buy some movies. Basically what I am saying is that you should get him something that he actually likes and that is practical in the sense that he will actually use it.
In addition to getting him a gift, you should also cook him his favorite meal. Or take him out to his favorite restaurant to eat. And let him be completely lazy on Father’s Day as well. He should not have to do anything at all but be lazy and enjoy the day.
And if you can’t find him a decent gift, then you could always get him a gift card to his favorite strip club so he can get a lap dance and some beer since chances are if he is married he isn’t getting any love at home. You know because nothing says Happy Fathers Day like a lap dance and a nine dollar Bud Light.
So there you have it, happy shopping!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Hey Blogger, We Need To Talk. Again.
Dear Blogger,
I know this is the second time I have had to have a little “chat” with you in the last month, but you keep on having problems.
You see people have been trying to leave comments on my blog, and they haven’t been able to. And people have been trying to respond to my comments on their own blogs and they can’t.
Now I realize you have been on a month long drunken Charlie Sheen like bender celebrating the end of winter, but can you please check yourself into rehab? Or at least get someone to fill for you when you are too fucking drunk to do your job.
While I am offering some support to you in terms of getting your act together, I want to offer you some suggestions. Would it be too much to ask for you to do some simple technological improvements? I thought so.
When people have “comment moderation” set to on so they can approve each comment, would it be too much to ask that you disable the “comment captcha” shit? I mean if they are approving each and every comment to their blog, I shouldn’t have to type in the damn words to get my post to be accepted. It should be one or the other, but not both at the same time.
While we are on the subject of the “comment captcha” shit, would it be ok with you for you to change it up a bit? I mean if I am a frequent visitor and commenter to a blog, could you make it to where I don’t have to type in that damn little word in the box? That would be a pretty easy thing to do if you could sober up long enough.
Can you set up a comment notification thing similar to how it is on Facebook? I mean it is a pain in the ass to “subscribe by email” to each and every single post to see the comments to my comments on other peoples blogs. I have an email address for work I have to check, I have my personal one to check, I also have the one for my blog which I have to check, but I don’t ever check my g-mail. NEVER. I only have it because it was required to set up my account here. I don’t think it would be too hard to set up this item, I mean if that Zuckerberg fucker can set it up for Facebook, I think you could set it up here.
Well I think that is enough for you to work on for now. So sober your ass up and get busy on my list of demands improvements. Don’t start to compete with Comcast as the king of the douche bags.
Your Friend,
Oilfield Trash.
I know this is the second time I have had to have a little “chat” with you in the last month, but you keep on having problems.
You see people have been trying to leave comments on my blog, and they haven’t been able to. And people have been trying to respond to my comments on their own blogs and they can’t.
Now I realize you have been on a month long drunken Charlie Sheen like bender celebrating the end of winter, but can you please check yourself into rehab? Or at least get someone to fill for you when you are too fucking drunk to do your job.
While I am offering some support to you in terms of getting your act together, I want to offer you some suggestions. Would it be too much to ask for you to do some simple technological improvements? I thought so.
When people have “comment moderation” set to on so they can approve each comment, would it be too much to ask that you disable the “comment captcha” shit? I mean if they are approving each and every comment to their blog, I shouldn’t have to type in the damn words to get my post to be accepted. It should be one or the other, but not both at the same time.
While we are on the subject of the “comment captcha” shit, would it be ok with you for you to change it up a bit? I mean if I am a frequent visitor and commenter to a blog, could you make it to where I don’t have to type in that damn little word in the box? That would be a pretty easy thing to do if you could sober up long enough.
Can you set up a comment notification thing similar to how it is on Facebook? I mean it is a pain in the ass to “subscribe by email” to each and every single post to see the comments to my comments on other peoples blogs. I have an email address for work I have to check, I have my personal one to check, I also have the one for my blog which I have to check, but I don’t ever check my g-mail. NEVER. I only have it because it was required to set up my account here. I don’t think it would be too hard to set up this item, I mean if that Zuckerberg fucker can set it up for Facebook, I think you could set it up here.
Well I think that is enough for you to work on for now. So sober your ass up and get busy on my list of demands improvements. Don’t start to compete with Comcast as the king of the douche bags.
Your Friend,
Oilfield Trash.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Please Don’t Cut That Dick
Sometimes I read news stories on the internet and just ask myself, what is wrong with people.
I read a story earlier this year about a guy in San Francisco who wants to ban circumcisions on males under the age of 18. His reasons are that it is cruel, painful (I don’t remember since I was a baby), and leads to sexual dysfunction (on a side note I have been cut and I have ZERO problems at all with “performance”). And to get the ball rolling on his movement, he had to gather 7,000 signatures to have his idea put on the ballot for a vote before the entire city.
Just last week I read an update to the original story in which the guy in San Francisco has gotten the required 7,000 signatures needed to get it put on the ballot. So sometime in the near future during the next election in San Francisco, the voters will decide whether or not to ban circumcision. If the measure passes in the election, it would make circumcision illegal (a misdemeanor) and punishable by a $1,000 fine and up to a year in jail.
Now everyone is entitled to their opinion, I mean my blog is full of all my opinions in and of itself but I have to say something about this.
I can understand wanting to save all of the penises in the world from cutting, but aren’t there more pressing issues facing San Francisco? Issues like crime, illegal immigrants, drug use, homelessness, illiteracy, suicide, how bad the 49ers suck, and budget shortfalls all seem like things that are more important issues than circumcision. How about solving all of those problems before taking up this issue?
Never mind the fact that is not even a nationwide effort, if passed it would only be law in San Francisco. People who still want to have their son cut just simply have to drive across the bay to Oakland to have the procedure done.
Now I am not for or against this measure, but it just seems silly to me since San Francisco has a lot of other issues and problems that should be fixed/adressed before messing with dicks. Even more silly considering you can just drive to another city to have it done outside of San Francisco.
I wonder if this passes and the city has to implement the law, what will they call the poor sap that has to go around check on this. What will his job title be? Inspector Foreskin?
I read a story earlier this year about a guy in San Francisco who wants to ban circumcisions on males under the age of 18. His reasons are that it is cruel, painful (I don’t remember since I was a baby), and leads to sexual dysfunction (on a side note I have been cut and I have ZERO problems at all with “performance”). And to get the ball rolling on his movement, he had to gather 7,000 signatures to have his idea put on the ballot for a vote before the entire city.
Just last week I read an update to the original story in which the guy in San Francisco has gotten the required 7,000 signatures needed to get it put on the ballot. So sometime in the near future during the next election in San Francisco, the voters will decide whether or not to ban circumcision. If the measure passes in the election, it would make circumcision illegal (a misdemeanor) and punishable by a $1,000 fine and up to a year in jail.
Now everyone is entitled to their opinion, I mean my blog is full of all my opinions in and of itself but I have to say something about this.
I can understand wanting to save all of the penises in the world from cutting, but aren’t there more pressing issues facing San Francisco? Issues like crime, illegal immigrants, drug use, homelessness, illiteracy, suicide, how bad the 49ers suck, and budget shortfalls all seem like things that are more important issues than circumcision. How about solving all of those problems before taking up this issue?
Never mind the fact that is not even a nationwide effort, if passed it would only be law in San Francisco. People who still want to have their son cut just simply have to drive across the bay to Oakland to have the procedure done.
Now I am not for or against this measure, but it just seems silly to me since San Francisco has a lot of other issues and problems that should be fixed/adressed before messing with dicks. Even more silly considering you can just drive to another city to have it done outside of San Francisco.
I wonder if this passes and the city has to implement the law, what will they call the poor sap that has to go around check on this. What will his job title be? Inspector Foreskin?
Friday, May 27, 2011
The Cheatinator
By now everyone on the planet knows that Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife around 15 years ago with his house keeper and fathered a child with the woman.
Now I don’t condone this cheating behavior at all, especially since just about every woman I have ever dated has been a cheater.
Cheating is nothing new here at all and has been going on forever. But there is a new trend in cheating that I am seeing which is quite disturbing.
This trend is men (and women) cheating on their spouse with ugly people. I mean have you seen the woman that Arnold cheated with? I couldn’t get my dick hard to fuck her if you gave me a 2000 pound Viagra.
I know Maria Shriver looks nasty now, but she is still way better looking than the fat cow he banged.
Why is it that all (or most) cheaters are caught cheating with someone uglier than the person they are with? If you are going to cheat and possibly end a relationship, shouldn’t you try and go up the ladder and not down the ladder? You know make it worth it.
Every woman who has ever cheated on me banged an ugly fat dude. That fact pissed me off more than the actual cheating did.
How many people got mad when it came out that JFK cheated on Jackie? Exactly, no one got mad. Why did no one get mad, because JFK banged Marilyn Monroe and he cheated up not down. That is why.
Do you think that there would have been hearings in Congress if Bill Clinton had banged Jenifer Aniston instead of an ugly intern? I am pretty sure there wouldn’t have been.
When will this madness of bumping uglies ever end?
And ladies before you get mad and torch me, this was purely satire and sarcasm. I hate cheaters as much as the next person since I have been cheated on a lot.
Now I don’t condone this cheating behavior at all, especially since just about every woman I have ever dated has been a cheater.
Cheating is nothing new here at all and has been going on forever. But there is a new trend in cheating that I am seeing which is quite disturbing.
This trend is men (and women) cheating on their spouse with ugly people. I mean have you seen the woman that Arnold cheated with? I couldn’t get my dick hard to fuck her if you gave me a 2000 pound Viagra.
I know Maria Shriver looks nasty now, but she is still way better looking than the fat cow he banged.
Why is it that all (or most) cheaters are caught cheating with someone uglier than the person they are with? If you are going to cheat and possibly end a relationship, shouldn’t you try and go up the ladder and not down the ladder? You know make it worth it.
Every woman who has ever cheated on me banged an ugly fat dude. That fact pissed me off more than the actual cheating did.
How many people got mad when it came out that JFK cheated on Jackie? Exactly, no one got mad. Why did no one get mad, because JFK banged Marilyn Monroe and he cheated up not down. That is why.
Do you think that there would have been hearings in Congress if Bill Clinton had banged Jenifer Aniston instead of an ugly intern? I am pretty sure there wouldn’t have been.
When will this madness of bumping uglies ever end?
And ladies before you get mad and torch me, this was purely satire and sarcasm. I hate cheaters as much as the next person since I have been cheated on a lot.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, No Really
A few weeks ago here in Houston, the Houston Police department found a dead man’s body outside of a home. Now I know this is not an uncommon occurrence here in Houston, or in any other big city for that matter.
What was strange here is that the dead man’s head was missing. And the dead man was also missing one of his arms.
Not too far from the body was a large plastic bag containing the missing head and the missing arm.
Also not too far away from the dead body was a bloody chainsaw. Yes I did just say a bloody chainsaw.
Apparently according to the initial news reports, “The victim’s identity has not been released. Police don’t know what led to the man’s death.” Don’t know what led to the man’s death? I am pretty fucking sure he didn’t commit suicide. Could it be possible that the chainsaw might have had something to do with his death? What the paper should have written is, “Police are unsure of the motive for this murder at this time.” I guess they will let anyone write for my local paper these days.
Since the initial news reports have come out, it was determined that the victims best friend and roommate shot the victim twice in the head after a disagreement (insert ghetto reason why-drugs, women, Call of Duty-Black Ops, last slice of leftover pizza eaten, etc). And then at some point the suspect used the chainsaw to cut up the body.
The reason for the suspect to cut up the victim was that the suspect was a very small man and could not move the body of the victim as the victim weighed close to 400 pounds. So the suspect procured a chainsaw and proceeded to carve up the body to make it easier to dispose of. And at some point in time someone saw the body and called police.
The suspect has been charged with enough charges to keep him busy having hot prison sex for the rest of his life.
Now maybe it is just me but the suspect should have thought about the size of his roommate before killing him. Although I do give him kudos for actually trying to get rid of the body in a creative way since he gave me something to write about on Wednesday morning.
Why does it always seem like weird shit like this only happens here in Texas?
What was strange here is that the dead man’s head was missing. And the dead man was also missing one of his arms.
Not too far from the body was a large plastic bag containing the missing head and the missing arm.
Also not too far away from the dead body was a bloody chainsaw. Yes I did just say a bloody chainsaw.
Apparently according to the initial news reports, “The victim’s identity has not been released. Police don’t know what led to the man’s death.” Don’t know what led to the man’s death? I am pretty fucking sure he didn’t commit suicide. Could it be possible that the chainsaw might have had something to do with his death? What the paper should have written is, “Police are unsure of the motive for this murder at this time.” I guess they will let anyone write for my local paper these days.
Since the initial news reports have come out, it was determined that the victims best friend and roommate shot the victim twice in the head after a disagreement (insert ghetto reason why-drugs, women, Call of Duty-Black Ops, last slice of leftover pizza eaten, etc). And then at some point the suspect used the chainsaw to cut up the body.
The reason for the suspect to cut up the victim was that the suspect was a very small man and could not move the body of the victim as the victim weighed close to 400 pounds. So the suspect procured a chainsaw and proceeded to carve up the body to make it easier to dispose of. And at some point in time someone saw the body and called police.
The suspect has been charged with enough charges to keep him busy having hot prison sex for the rest of his life.
Now maybe it is just me but the suspect should have thought about the size of his roommate before killing him. Although I do give him kudos for actually trying to get rid of the body in a creative way since he gave me something to write about on Wednesday morning.
Why does it always seem like weird shit like this only happens here in Texas?
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