I am sure that all of you have heard of Murphy’s Law. You know the law that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well I don’t necessarily believe in Murphy’s Law (who the fuck is Murphy and what is his/her law) per se because my life does not have bad things that constantly happen. Ok that’s a lie; bad shit does happen to me just like it does to everyone else, but not that often. I have a different theory on things that I believe in which explains why weird stuff happens to me.
See I have a theory that 90% of the messed up stuff in life happens to 10% of the people. And I just happen to fall in that 10% portion of the people. Now I am not talking about bad stuff per se, but just messed up stuff. Like this type of goofy shit that could and does happen ONLY to me.
Some examples of this would be that if I were to go into Wendy’s for say a bowl of chili, there would be a cut off finger in my chili. I know that never happens, but if it did it would happen to me. Or say I could to KFC for some deep fried goodness, with the 10% theory in effect I would get there and they would have run out of chicken (the only thing on your menu is friend chicken, how the fuck do you run out). Another example would be that if I were to go to a strip club, the only strippers there that night would be one armed midgets. Those are some theoretical examples of how my life goes.
If you have been reading and following my blog, then you know of how weird shit always seems to happen to me. My story on my fear of needles is a great example. So is my story of my experience with my vasectomy. My Thanksgiving story is another fine example of how weird and crazy shit happens to me. You can find the tag for 10 Percent Theory to see old and future posts under this category.
As you know my kids were out of town for two weeks during their Christmas break from school. And you also know that I was sick during the Christmas holidays. No I was not sick for just a couple of days, but the entire time that my kids were gone. Every. Single. Day. I was sick. I could have gone and done anything I wanted to do while my kids were gone as I was off from work. And I was so sick that I couldn’t do anything while they were gone other than lay around the house. That alone sums up the 10% theory to a T.
I will have some more future posts of how the 10% theory always seems to come into play in my life. So stay tuned for more of my odd life.