A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Lunch Lady Blues

I am not sure if you have seen it over the last couple of years or not, but there has been a lot in the news about making school lunches healthier for kids. It is a great idea because Americans in general have become fatter in my lifetime.

Even the first lady Michelle Obama has made this her “cause”, which I do not have a problem with. All first ladies have had a cause which they try to bring to light and help an issue which is important to them. Laura Bush was trying to help literacy among children. So I have no problem with Michelle Obama trying to help get our kids less fat.

It really is a problem what kids eat in school. Have you ever had school food recently? When I was a kid the food I ate at school was not healthy. I would say that the food tasted more like petrified dog shit than it did food. I digress though; kids need to eat healthier so that we don’t end up as a society that looks like the humans on that spaceship in the movie “Wall-E”. So school districts all over America are on board and trying to serve healthier lunches to the kids. Stuff that is now on the menu includes stuff with less carbohydrates, less sugar, less serving sizes, and less fatty stuff on the menu.

Now that we have spent two years trying to get schools to server healthier foods, do you know what school districts are doing? Well as a result of budget cuts and trying to use their time with the kids more on actual education, they have started cutting the time in physical education or cutting them altogether. Really? Yes really school districts are cutting physical education and some are even allowing kids to earn their credit for it over the net. I almost fell out of my desk chair when I saw this reported on Nightline. The whole idea behind physical education was to get kids off of their asses and now you can earn your credit for it by sitting on your ass.

Do you remember the “Presidents Physical Fitness Awards” that they used to give out? I do because I got shit tons of them in school because I actually RAN and EXERCISED at SCHOOL. And I was not a fat kid because my mom actually cooked healthy food at home and I ate good at school. She put me in multiple sports so I could get exercise at home as well as while I was at school.

I am no nutritionist (but I do play one on here) but it does not matter if the schools only serve fruits, vegetables, and Cheerios if you don’t fucking exercise you will get fat. The math on this is very simple.

Healthy food + exercise = a healthy person

Healthy food + no exercise = a unhealthy person

Unhealthy food + exercise = a unhealthy person

Unhealthy food + no exercise = 21st Century American?
This concept that the schools are now serving healthy food and at the very same time cutting exercise for the kids is fucking ridiculous. Also one meal at school five days a week does not make you fat either. If they really cared they would encourage the parents to serve healthy shit at home. And also exercise at home.

You see this is what is wrong with America. We can’t get everyone on the same page as a nation working together. The first lady got schools to start serving healthier food at schools, but then the schools cut back on physical education. Did you not get the message about having fat kids Mr School District? It takes exercise and eating the right foods to not have fat kids.


  1. Well said, and for the most part I agree. When I was in school we had P.E. EVERYDAY and I walked home from school. And, when I got home, video games and T.V. was off limits till it was time to come in, usually about dark thirty. We played outside and exercised while we were outside, didn't have a whole lot of toys to play with so we had to use our imagination while doing so. Now, what we had for dinner wouldn't exactly be considered healty by todays standards, fried chicken, burgers, steaks, fried eggs, all the evil foods. But, we had our veggies along with 'em, and we didn't ead half a cow at each sitting either, when I was in school what passes for a medium drink/small in some joints was a large. Now you see restaurants advertizing that they have the biggest (Insert meal of choice here) for the lowest price. People need to learn control and to get out and do something.

  2. I'm a teacher and Varsity Swim Coach and while I am not the picture of health it amazes me how little people understand about health. We have not at all cut PE but certain kids can take PE and Health online...which is insane. In fact the Boys Head Coach (I am the girls) teaches HOPE (PE & Health) ONLINE! She says the kids are supposed to run or do whatever on their own and she verifies it with their parents...WHICH IS INSANE! I agree we move in one direction and then take a few steps back in the other. Also, with all the junk sold on high school campuses...even if the lunches are healthy they're buying stuff from the vending machines...though not soda...only teachers can buy soda on campus...aiiii I have digressed...point is...I understand your pain!

  3. Morons.

    In middle school & high school I ate horrible, horrible food...Cheeseburgers and pizza were my life (still are, but that's another post). But I was involved in Tennis, Track, Basketball, Volleyball, Marching Band and Cheerleading.

    The key to being healthy is expending equal to or more calories than you consume. The reason fruits and veggies are high on the list of "healthy" foods is because pound for pound - they contain less calories than, say, a cheesebuger. Of course, they have vitamins and minerals - but you can, if push comes to shove, get those from a multi-vitamin.

    Politians and simple minded people. Bah.

  4. I have a ton of opinions on this subject. I am not a fan of those Biggest Loser type shows, but at least they are encouraging people to get off their ass and do something. And when you see fat kids it's sad, because the kids don't know what they are doing - their parents are basically making them fat.

    A few weeks ago I was with a group of friends and I was talking about how I lost about 15 pounds last year and am as fit as I have been in 20 years. I mentioned that the weight loss formula is very easy. Eat healthier and smaller proportions + exercise = weight loss. Basically burn more calories than you take in. Why is that so hard for so many Americans???

  5. We've been having the the same problem here with obesity. We're fast becoming a fast food society. It's sad that one my country's claim to international fame is for having the most successful KFC branch in.the.entire.world.

    PS: Blog awards! Get your hot fresh blog awards! Now with less trans fat.

  6. There are so many things I want to say about funding being cut in all the wrong places, but I can't risk breaking my keyboard right now.

    Good post as usual, sir.

  7. I love your math! I had to switch my kids' school because in addition to the school failing for the past four years, they cut out most of the phys. ed. classes (kids were going once a week), foreign language, and music. And then they wondered why the kids were acting like fools. Oh, and there 'healthy' foods? Toasted cheese sandwiches. That shit was disgusting.

    a bitch called mom

  8. Oh yes... I remember the Presidential Fitness shit. It was like a concentration camp for those of us with no athletic ability. I clearly remember having the gym teacher scream at me to run faster, try harder, and "god dammit Sara! Everybody ELSE can do a god damn pull up!" Yup. To this day I can't do any physical activity without crying. But....
    ....I think every kid should have to endure that horror so that I don't feel like I suffered for no reason. HA!

    And dude- did you have chicken burgers for lunch? They were THE BEST EVER. Or the pizza that came shaped as a rectangle. OMG. I would buy that shit up if I could in the stores. But I've never found the exact same thing. But my senior year of HS I survived on my lunch which included 2 pizza sticks, a bag of chewy Runts, a 20oz of Pepsi (and if I was fast enough to steal more change out of my mom's purse) I could even have some Hot Tamales to get me through the afternoon keyboarding and history classes. ;)

  9. @ Jeff, I agree with you. I never came inside until the 10pm news was on. And even then I still ate a decent meal.

    @ Krystle, thanks for your thoughts.

    @ Sam, exactly.

    @ Simpletude, I couldn't have said it any better. You summed it up perfectly.

    @ Vinny, I agree with nutrition but don't mess with the Col. The barnyard pimp is my one weakness.

    @ Jeff, please don't break the keyboard. And thank you.

    @ Mrs Hyde, I agree with that. Even my kids school has cut back on PE. But I run their asses ragged after I get home from work. And I make them walk with me.

  10. I don't care what they do with the school lunch program when it comes to my kids. I make their lunches [well, I only have one left at home] everyday because I am guaranteed to 1. Save money 2. She eats healthy 3. She will eat everything I give her because I know what she likes.

    I would like the schools to make healthier lunches because so many kids that are on the free lunch program count on these meals as sustenance. They NEED them and they should be healthier.

    You might be interested in the School Lunch Project. I don't have the link handy - but you can google it - it is a teacher that ate school lunch for one year and some of the crap they feed kids is atrocious.

    I remember the Presidential Physical Fitness Awards. We could earn a patch every year for elementary school [the only time they had them] I had a jacket with six patches - but that sh*t was hard. They don't do it here anymore. Wonder why. It isn't because they cut out P.E. - they still have it - it is probably because the kids are so unhealthy, what would be the point.

    P.E. credits on line are obscene. What is the point.

  11. Your math equations made me poop my pants.

    Thanks! Now I have a reason to go home early!

  12. I agree with you post, I wonder if the kids of today consider playing the Wii exercise.

  13. Very much agree with the whole equation there, we better hurry up and change this or our children's children will all be blobbity mcblobs! Go Michelle!

  14. I grew up in NM so our lunch ladies where these 2 older Mexican women who made us the best homemade Mexican food ever! I loved school lunches.

  15. @ Sara, I agree with you a shit ton. And I loved the pizza squares as well.

    @ Skippymom, that is the way to go. I remember getting a lot of fitness awards when I was in elementary school. Hell I think my long jump record still stands at the school till this very day.

    @ Kev, I am sorry. Maybe I need to update the "warning" on my blog to include shitting your pants while reading my blog.

    @ Sausage, the wii fit is a help, but not the whole equation.

    @ Blah, thank you.

  16. Wow that's dumb. Earning it online?! What idiot dreamed that one up? Absolutely ridiculous.

  17. I was actually watching an episode of The Wonder Years last night that had the presidental physical fitness test on it. Brought back memories...not fond ones LOL

  18. @ Brandy, consider yourself lucky.

    @ TS, yes it is very dumb.

    @ Birdshit, wow you just brought back some memories.

  19. Wasn't this the whole point of Shaq having that show he had on last year? He was trying hard to keep this from happening to other schools than the ones he had already seen it in. I'm sorry, but I still blame video games, too. We were OUTSIDE until the street lights came on. We weren't allowed to veg in front of the TV playing video games.

  20. Now I just want a pizza square. Damn.

    Excellent post Mr. OT. Excellent indeed.

  21. It really is stupid how they are cutting the excercise programs. Honestly, they were probably doing the most good. I don't think the healthier lunches will do much, because most kids go home to a pantry full of junk food. Now, a good excersize program can help, even with bad eating habits. Bad move school system, bad move.

  22. They took away recess for a while when my daughter was in elementary school. I argued with the fat principal for over an hour and got nowhere.

  23. I live in new Jersey and the schools are awful thanks to our wonderful governor who just likes cutting stuff. There is still a gym, with like 100 students in each class, so you really don't do much. But i doubt they try to help the lunches. Well no i'll take that back. They do try. They have a "salad bar" right next to the french fries.

  24. @ Krissy, video games are not entirely to blame. You have to put more of that on the parents for allowing to play all the time.

    @ Heather, thank you. And I am craving one as well.

    @ Becca, thank you.

    @ Paulsifer, I agree with you.

    @ Jen, that is exactly how I feel. Arguing with a fat person about exercise is like arguing with a politician over corruptness.

    @ Emily, a salad bar next to french fries. Love it.

  25. I can't even wrap my mind around any of it...Great post. Too bad the people who are cutting the programs couldn't give a shit.

  26. so, i actually signed a waiver when i left the hop-sital saying i would keep all my thoughts on food and exercise to myself, for the good of humanity. so i'm just gonna sit here and smile and nod, if it's all the same to you.

  27. I agree, even though I hated PE in school I still did it and some things I did like because it made me feel good (endorphins!). Although I wish that I never had the want to eat the school food. If I had never bought lunch at school, I'd probably have more money to stick in my bank account, have nicer things, and probably not be as fat throughout school.

    That and if kids were nicer and let me play with them at recess. Spent many recesses reading.


  28. @ Mash, thank you.

    @ Sandra, exactly.

    @ Kage, no problem.

    @ Ditz, thank you. Glad you agree.

  29. oh, do NOT get me started on this shit. My kids get a whopping 10 minutes of recess per day and when it snowed those 2 times in the last 2 years, they couldn't go outside. In fact, if it's below 60, they lose recess. If it rains (which, as you know, it rains 250 days a year here), they lose recess. It's not like when I was a kid and they'd say "oh, inclement weather? Go to the GYM for recess!!"
    They just lose it.

    P.E. is worse. Even when they CAN go outside or CAN do active things, my children learn shit like LINE DANCING *shudder*

    What. The. Fuck.

    No, they don't know how to play basketball or football or baseball - heaven forbid they USE some of the land their school has - they primarily stay INSIDE for their P.E. and do stupid shit like line dancing or learning how to play kickball... you know, with no RUNNING because heaven forbid someone gets hurt.

    I try to get my kids to go outside and play. Considering where we live, that doesn't happen that often. I hope that will change when we move.

  30. There's nothing I can say that Smart Ass Sara didn't say first! I DREADED the Presidential Fitness Day!

    And nachos with fake bacon bits with a pepsi was my lunch for the entirety of 8th grade. As an adult I endorse the healthy eating program, but I can still remember how awesome those nachos tasted.

    And now I'm fat! DAMN IT!!!!! :)


  31. Well said Oilfield! This situation isn't rocket science. An unhealthy diet and little or no excercise equals fat and unhealthy people. And seriously, kids and adults need to get the hell away from the video games and computers and go excercise ...says the sexy empress eating ice cream whilst typing this comment ; )


  32. Well, of course, OT... But it's the culture. My mother keeps her great-grands on occasion now and she still doesn't allow them to just sit around all day. Get those kids active!

  33. Miley... I don't know how old you are, but we would have kicked our PE teacher's ass if he/she told us we had to line dance! What the fuck is right!

  34. @ Sharaf, yea.

    @ Miley, I agree.

    @ Hed, nachos with some fake bacon sounds great.

    @ Empress, thank you. I agree with you.

    @ Krissy, thank you.

  35. @ All, the reason I know that the equation works is because I am a fat ass because I don't have time to exercise and I don't have the cashola for shit tons of vegetables.

    And besides I kinda like being fat. It means I am warmer in the winter time, I am more buoyant when swimming, and I am almost 100% guaranteed I won't ever get him on.

  36. Krissy, I'm 30. For now.

    OT - cashola??

  37. There they go again: making the innocent (i.e., kids) pay for bureaucratic stupidity.

  38. Oh. Cash. Veggies are expensive. I be slow today.

  39. @ Robyn, yep that is it exactly.

    @ Miley, glad you finally got it.

  40. It has to start in the home. I'm amazed just how much gets shoved at school when it really should be parents stepping up to the plate (literally) and doing their part. It seems that education nearly always gets a brow-beating for trying to do what others will not.

  41. @ Teach, I agree with you. I even said as much in my post. But the hypocrisy of the schools serving food and not giving any physical activity is bullcrap.

  42. Absolutely - in the short time I taught I found the food turned my stomach; it also fills up the kids with e ingredients so behavior just after lunch was appaling.

  43. Not sure if you caught it or not, but there was a great TV show recently where Jamie Oliver went into a public school in bumfuck-somewhere-fat-America and tried to change the menu. It was pretty awesome - the resistance to his plan was amazing to me. It's no wonder why the world sees us as fat and lazy.

  44. I work at a school, so I see what that serve in lunch. They serve on a rotating basis:
    Cheeseburgers (available pretty much every day)
    Pizza (once a week)
    French Bread Pizza (which I suppose is pizza that has an attitude)
    French Bread Sticks (ditto, except it's bread sticks)
    Fried Chicken Fingers (local chickens are pretty PO'd)
    Breadsticks with pizza sauce (translation: nobody went shopping for food that day)
    Lasagna (they can use the leftovers in Art)
    Fried somethings which smell like chicken
    And so on...but they do offer apple slices (which eventually just turn brown)
    Oh, and 8th graders don't have to take any gym for a half year. Instead they sew pajama pants and built mobiles out of dog poop (or something similar).
    I don't want to raise a generation of Spartans but I don't want to bequeath to posterity a generation of kids who get winded when...breaking wind.

  45. We're growing a generation of children who get winded when...uh...breaking wind.

  46. Eat less + exercise more=looser fitting clothes. Voila!

  47. @ David, I agree.

    @ Dr, no I did not see that show. But honestly it does not shock me at all.

    @ Al, I agree with you. It is sad. Very sad.

  48. Thank goodness I've always been cute as h*ll with absolutely no effort whatsoever. ;o)

    But when I was in school, we had 1 meal AND 3 recess breaks AND P.E. class every single day. We did not have soda.

    Nowadays, it seems as if there are less recess breaks and less recess. Plus, it seems as if there are multiple meals (such as snack-times and breakfasts) where kids can buy their snacks from candy machines. And, all those meals can come with soda.

    I blame the soda. Even the diet sodas. I always see overweight people drinking diet sodas, and I have to bite my tongue to point out that it's not really making a difference, is it?

  49. @ Sassy, those damn sodas sure dont help.

  50. I checked out the School Lunch Project, and to be honest, was disgusted by what I saw! In our school district, there are approximately 65% of the kids on reduced or free lunches, but our school serves breakfast in the classroom, and makes their own lunches for the kids.
    I eat there every Tuesday, and while some of it is bland, it is healthy. All whole grains, fresh fruits/veggies, skim milk, no fried foods, chicken or fish most days, etc. And, amazingly enough, the kids LOVE it.
    The kids also get a 30 minute "free" period after lunch to go outside or to the gym, and have a 45 min P.E. class every day.

  51. @ Misfit, then you should be lucky that your district is one of the better ones.

  52. You're totally on track OT. Jamie Oliver was trying to shine a light on American eating habits and school lunches in his show on ABC which lasted a really short time. Apparently we don't much care for seeing the truth.

    I never liked the Presidents Physical Fitness awards, I was just never that kid. But I do recall we had PE nearly every day. They went back and forth between that and music.

    The school lunches at my kids' school have gotten better but they are supposed to get 30 mins of exercise every day but I am pretty sure that doesn't happen.

  53. the fucking everyone gets a fucking medal and the there are no winners, we don't keep score, uberpussifuckation of america.

    god forbid all the add/adhd kids get some fucking exersize and good food...

    amazing how many more kids have ADHD bullshit since the introduction of soooo many fucking chemicals in what we eat.

    fucking dullardfucktard parents need to be involved as well, instead of chasing bucks, spend some time chasing your kids around the yard playing a game of tag or tossing a frisbe or a baseball.

    too many fucking fuctards in so many levels of so many fucking things.....

    i think my anyerism (sp) just burst!

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  54. That's the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time. The level of stupidity is amazing.

    On a side note, I can't hear "Lunch Lady" without thinking of Wayne Brady singing to the lunch lady on Who's Line Is It Anyway. 2 minutes of hilarious TV viewing. http://youtu.be/-wpWh--asks

  55. I feel sorry for all the kids like me who used cross country at school as an excuse to hide in the bushes and sneak a quick ciggy!! But seriously, now I am a big, FAT grown up - I wish that someone had kicked my ass into shape :)

  56. @ Semi, everything you said is true. When I was a kid we had over an hour EACH day of physical activity.

    @ Bruce, you summed it up great as always. I HATE that "we are all winners" bullshit. It sucks. But then again when the government does that to the NFL it will mean the Lions get a Lombardi trophy so it may not be so bad right?

    @ Cajun, yes it sure is dumb.

    @ Sex, I never did that. I just smoked on the way to school.

  57. Oh yeah! All I remember about school lunches is that we ALWAYS had fish on friday (just in case) and milk squirting out of our noses when we laughed. We have five kids and watched the school districts around us slowly cut PE classes down to almost nothing. On-line PE classes? What the hell is that anyway?

  58. @ Pat, oh I remember fish Fridays in my school as well. Online PE classes is where kids sit on their ass watching videos of other kids exercising to show them how to do it.

  59. i taught at a public school a few years ago and came in one day without having breakfast. i went to the lunchroom and asked if i could purchase a banana or an apple.
    all they serve is fruit "cocktail" in heavy corn syrup.
    yes, really.
    no wonder the diabetes in children rate is off the charts!!!

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