A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

RIP Brett Favre

No, Brett Favre is not dead, but this season we saw the end of the fantastic NFL career of Brett Favre. Well I am assuming his career is done but as we all have seen over the years he has a habit of coming back when he has said he was done.

As Sunday wrapped up the second weekend of the NFL playoffs it seems strange not having Favre in the playoffs as the teams he has played on normally made the playoffs. You see normally his name is one of the ones thrown around during pregame shows and halftime shows, and is always a part of highlights on Sportscenter during the playoffs. So it is really weird to not hear his name being called after 20 years of hearing it in the playoffs.


Favre played in the NFL for 20 seasons, which is a lot of years for the position of quarterback if you think about it considering all the abuse a quarterback takes during games. Now I am not fan of Favre as I am a Steelers fan, but I can appreciate the great players who have played the game. He played through many injuries throughout his career and accomplished a lot of things. And if I remember correctly he played a game for the Packers on the day his dad passed away (and had the game of a lifetime too that night). That guy is the modern day man of steel to have done some of the things he has done. I just wish he would have played all of his years with Green Bay as I like to see great players stay with one team.


Let’s take a look at some of his career stats shall we?

300 plus games played
71,000 plus passing yards (the only NFL QB to do this)
500 plus touchdown passes (the only NFL QB to do this)
10,000 plus pass attempts (the only NFL QB to do this)
6,000 plus completions
525 sacks
336 interceptions
1 Superbowl Victory
1 cover of Madden game

But here is the statistics he will be most remember for.

197 text messages to two massage “therapists”
245 text messages to a New York Jets employee (who is fucking smoking hot)
50 picture text messages of his “penis” to said New York Jets employee
2 inch penis

Wait did you say 2 inch penis? Yes I did. You see some of the text messages he sent to ladies included a picture of his “roll of dimes” penis and the media released some of the pictures. I did not personally see the pictures, but the sports radio station I listen to mentioned that he was not packing in that department. I guess we need to rename the “Packers” because the man that led them for 15 years was not in any sense of the word a “Packer”.


And when I was doing the research for this post, I found out why I found the woman from the Jets he sent the nasty text messages to was so familiar. You see when I googled her (her name is Jenn Sterger if you want to google her for yourself), her pictures from college came up. She was the hot ass coed that ABC and ESPN used to focus in on every time they broadcasted a Florida State football game. Bret I can’t blame you for sending a picture of your roll of dimes to her because she is hot.



I digress, I guess I just wanted to say that you can take the man out of Southern Mississippi but you can’t take the Southern Mississippi out of the man. The guy in my opinion is not very smart or lacks in the common sense department. If I had a 2 inch penis, I sure as fuck would not be sending a picture of it to women I want to screw because if they know in advance what you have, chances are you are not getting any from them.



I just wished he would have stayed with the Packers for his whole career because I will always think of him as a Green Bay player. And if he had stayed at Green Bay it is doubtful that the text message scandal would have happened which is going to haunt him forever. But just like he couldn’t stay with one woman (ie his wife) he couldn’t stay with one team (ie the Packers) for life.


The irony is not lost on me though that even Mother Nature has had enough of his shenanigans. On the weekend where he missed his first start in 20 years, she made it snow so much that the stadium roof collapsed a couple of nights before the next home game. I think that is an omen that he needs to heed and hang it up because that sound you hear is the fat lady singing.

54 comments:

  1. I heard this morning that he has filed his retirement papers with the NFL.

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  2. He should have just ended it after Green Bay. Everything after has been a joke...especially is vienna sausage penis

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  3. great post even if i know nothing about football

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  4. Great Post. Go Steelers! I hope they smash the Jets. I hate the Jets!

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  5. @ George, I wrote this post last weekend and I also heard that news last night. So I guess this post is perfectly timed.

    @ Birdshit, I agree with you. I am glad I am not the only one who heard about it.

    @ Becca, thank you.

    @ Bothered, I agree with you. I also do not like the Jets either.

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  6. @Bird poop - I dont think I would call last season a joke, being one stupid interception away from the Super Bowl and all.

    That being said, as a diehard lifelong Vikings fan (you can see my office building in downtown Minneapolis in that picture of our deflated dome above) I used to HATE Favre with a passion. By FAR my most hated athlete. Then he came here and I fell into his hillbilly charm and started liking him.. a lot. Funny how winning does that.

    Now that I see him for the drama queen, peepee texting hilljack he is I am back to loathing him. This year WAS a joke and we'll be much better off without him.

    I would love to see the Steelers make the Super Bowl - and AFC crush our rivals in either the Pack or the Bears. You can't let one of them win.

    SD
    www.TheSimpleDude.com

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  7. Can I just say, that as someone who lives on the MN/WI border I hate both the Vikings and the Packers? Seriously. SHUT THE FUCK UP. You can't go anywhere on game day without people screaming at each other. God damn. And who thought an inflatable roof in Minneapolis was a good idea? Really? Who are you? Because you are stupid. What the eff is wrong with you.

    *sigh* But other than that, if I had to chose between the borders..I pick Vikings. Mostly because I look better in purple. And I'm glad Favre is gone. And the guys who sent me a pic of their penis last week have way more than Favre. And now I just feel sorry for his wife. :)

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  8. @ Simpledude, you are correct about the previous season. He did play good until he threw that interception down in New Orleans. I think the Steelers are taking the Superbowl this year.

    @ Sara, where to start. Hmm I feel sorry for you living on the border and having to deal with both teams fans. As for the roof, yea whoever thought of that idea needs a kick in the balls for sure. I also feel sorry for his wife as well. Not for the infidelity part but for the fact that she truly has never had the life fucked out of her by her husband.

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  9. HAhahahaha. Mother nature. That's good

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  10. I would have liked to see him stay with the packers but as that didn't happen, he really should have retired after the last season where he played better than he ever had.

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  11. i don't follow football, and even i am tired of seeing that guy. though if i am honest, i have only ever seen negative stuff about him. i didn't know any of those stats, or that he played the day his dad died.

    and that chick really is smoking hot.

    all in all, i feel bad for him, that all he will be remembered for are the things he did wrong.

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  12. @ Anonymous, thank you.

    @ TS, so would have I. And I agree he should have gone out on top.

    @ Kage, that is funny that even you who does not follow football has heard about his funny business. Yes his stats are amazing. And the game he played on the day his dad died was an awesome game. And yes that chick is SMOKING HOT.

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  13. You scared me with the title there! I mean my heart seriously dropped! I love Brett, but mostly when he was on the Packers :D

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  14. LOL @ the girl holding the sign "don't worry Brett texted me, too"... hahaha.

    The Packers made a good call this time 'round.

    p.s. On a not-really-related sidenote, I hate anything to do with Michael Vick for obvious reasons. Can't believe the douche is allowed to play and make millions again.

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  15. @ Blah, that is why in the very first sentence I said he was not dead, but his career was.

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  16. @ Stephanie, I am glad you liked it.

    And I will have a blog post coming up about Michael Vick soon. It may anger a few people but at least it will be an honest post.

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  17. The guy was pulling a michael jordan-esque move and it was getting old anyway.

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  18. Yeah but...are we SURE?

    I mean it seems he's been in and out of the game so many times the last few years?

    And it makes me sad, because other than a couple of players that are in today, I don't see a lot of stand-outs like the 80's-90's (Jerry Rice, Emmett Smith, Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, John Elway, Dan Marino etc.)

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  19. @ Watchman, yes he was.

    @ Hed, I am pretty sure. And yes he has been wishy washy before, but I think Mother Nature stepping in has helped him out.

    And there are tons of great players today. Ray Lewis, Andre Johnson, Adrian Peterson, Santonio Holmes, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Troy Pollamolu, and tons of others. You just have to know where to look to find them.

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  20. hahaha them signs are so awesome, who seriously needs to send pics of their dick around

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  21. @ Hip Hop, I thought the same thing.

    @ Tigey, yes he is retiring. He filed the paperwork with the NFL yesterday.

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  22. Elway never took peen pics. Just sayin'...

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  23. Brett played a hella ball back in the day and in the early years he paid his dues the hard way and earned the trust and respect of those he played with and for. of course it didn't take much to shit that all away. Oh well. Great Fame brings great responsibility. or at least common sense

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  24. i posted
    gone but not 4gotten last year and was kinda surprised he actually came back this year.

    as a lions and a JETS fan i really *hate* him...but he does command the respect of his peers and fans of football.

    the fact that he has very poor judgement should not soil his accomplishments, but in todays world it will...

    he was a great QB...

    and will be missed on the gridiron...

    no one will ever break his streak of consecutive games...

    oh and the the overated punkass steelers led by another guy that has no fucking commonsense, will be crushed by my JETS...

    let the laying down of smack begin!

    :)


    Bruce
    bruce johnson jadip
    evilbruce
    stupid stuff i see and hear
    Bruce’s guy book
    the guy book
    Dreamodel Guy
    dreamodeling!

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  25. I am NOT going to tell you that I have known for years about the " little junk that " that has haunted Brett since the year he took a younger friend of mine to her prom where she was queen, and tried to mack on her and when she shut him down he snagged up the closest whorelett who would say yes and left the little prom queen in need of a ride home thus causing me to go up there and kick him in a place that most men keep a cock. I wont tell you how everyone around here laughs that he must pad his cup or that it's a miracle the world didn't figure out what a fucking cock mongle he was until the last couple years. Nope I wouldn't do any of that.

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  26. @ Heather, that is very true.

    @ Peachy1, I agree with you.

    @ Bruce, I agree with you. He is/was a very great QB. My point here was poking fun at his lack of penis err common sense. And consider the gauntlet thrown down.

    @ Peachy, that is fucking hilarious.

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  27. yeah...i forgot To say it was a great post...

    it took entirely to long to post it, but yeah... and i had to like preview five times...

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  28. I like to think of him as the Lindros of football...way past his prime and time to go. All that back and forth was a bit ridiculous. I don't follow football but if I had to hear one more time he was retiring...wait he's back...really!? What a joke he became at the end there...and who wants to be remembered that way? It's just sad.

    As for what he is packing...or not...I had heard the same and though some friends saw the pictures I have no desire to look that up. Who wants to see that? His name, fame, and money is the only thing that got him any ass...because no woman I know wants to work with 2 inches. You are right though...why send that out as if it'd impress her and have her writhing around in her bed crazy cause she just had to have that!? That's just sad.

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  29. Great post! But Brett can send me his junk mail whenever he wants. I don't care about his 2". He's still hot, in my opinion. And, I won't tattle on him to the news or the police or his wife.

    But I might blog about it. It's not like the news or the police or his wife reads my blog anyway, so that should be ok, right?

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  30. The moral of the story – Our gods are human and bleed.

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  31. @ Jewels, I agree about all of the back and forth stuff. I don't know any woman who wants a two incher except the Sassy Sassy who just said she don't care about size.

    @ Sassy, maybe you should email him your phone number.

    @ Copy, that is true. Our gods are human and bleed and have a small penis.

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  32. great blog followed! check out my blog at www.samboism.blogspot.com

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  33. I stopped reading after you said you were a Steelers fan. I'll come back tomorrow when, hopefully, you've come to your senses.

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  34. Why am I attracted to this man?!? I've seen the pics. Not to mention his elbows are always ashy. Always! I mean, I know it's cold in MN, but come on, man. There are plenty of macho moisturizers out there. And yet.. I still want to jump his broken down old bones.

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  35. Obviously I didn't care about all the sport-talk, but you had me at 2 inch penis. I put my fingers together to see what that would look like.
    I bet he's very sad...sad, sad, sad...

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  36. @ Sharaf, thank you.

    @ Sch, thank you as well.

    @ Mrs Hyde, since I know you are from Baltimore, let me offer you a free box of tissues.

    @ Frecklehead, you still want a man with a two inch penis with a history of cheating? Hmm that is interesting.

    @ Sandra, I agree it is very sad indeed. God made him a great NFL QB, but it cost him his penis. Seems far trade to me.

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  37. Liked this blog. Following.

    theladiets.blogspot.com

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  38. Poor Brett! A fantastic career that ended with a lot of jokes at his expense.

    And you're right: he shoulda stayed a Packer.

    Skol Vikes!

    Pearl

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  39. I never understood why guys insist on sending pics like that. I'd rather be introduced to that in person after I know the rest of him extremely well. I certainly don't want a picture of it next to a remote before I've even met him in person...

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  40. @ LA, thank you.

    @ Pearl, yep that is true. And I wish he would have stayed in Green Bay. Oh well I can't get everything I want.

    @ Jen, I don't know. Some women like that I guess. But I congratulate you on wanting to get to know a man on the inside before knowing what pops up on his outside. Not many women like that these days.

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  41. "If I had a 2 inch penis, I sure as fuck would not be sending a picture of it to women I want to screw because if they know in advance what you have, chances are you are not getting any from them."

    Great post but the above is my favorite part! 100% spot on!!

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  42. Not a Farve fan, and really this looks like a storm in a teacup, but it does take 2 to tango. I suspect that he did not get her number from the yellow pages.

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  43. @ Manager, thank you.

    @ Cajun, you know that is something that I had not even thought about. Thanks for bringing that up.

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  44. Oh Brett - what a sad ending! Hey you maybe know this but if you change your settings people can respond to comments you leave via email... here's a post on that: http://www.sweetsimplicityblog.com/2009/08/noreplyblogger.html

    TGIF!

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  45. @ Jenny, thank you for sharing that. I just went and did it. Hopefully it works.

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  46. When will these guys learn to quit when they still got something in the tank. Now we'll remember him as something totally different.

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  47. @ Pat, I don't know but I wish he would have stayed a Packer and then walked away from the game with some pride.

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  48. For some reason I was thinking he had 2 superbowl rings. I guess one is better than none. Isn't that right Mr. Marino?

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  49. @ Toastman, he has been to 2 Superbowls, but only won one time. And yes that is Marino.

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  50. can't wait for the Michael Vick post, thought the game might've been rigged for a few moments in Green Bay.. Sick of hearing that guy's "special" story

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  51. @ Wisdom, it will be after the Superbowl but don't worry it will be coming up.

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