Great Inventions #3 – The Christmas Edition

Well here is another fine installment from my series of “Great Inventions” that have come about during my lifetime. Now I know this Christmas edition is a couple of weeks late, but I had other great stuff that needed to be posted before I got around to this blog. So enjoy the Christmas Invention edition.


Christmas Lights.

Now I that Christmas lights were not invented during my lifetime, but they sure as fuck were perfected during my lifetime. You see back when I was a kid prior to hanging any lights on the house or the tree, you had to plug the strands in to make sure they worked. And back then when one bulb was burnt out or broken, the entire strand of lights would not work. Do you know how big of a fucking pain in the ass that used to be checking EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BULB? It was a huge pain in the ass as it took longer to do the checking of every bulb on the strands than the time it took to actually hang the damn things. So sometime in between my childhood and adulthood they have invented strands of Christmas lights that will still light up when one or more the bulbs is burnt out. This invention has saved more migraine headaches than Tylenol has.


Artificial Trees.

I am not trying to start a great debate here about whether real vs fake tree is better. I am just saying that for some people the invention of the artificial tree is very helpful. I can remember when I was a kid that the artificial trees were very expensive and my dad opted to buy one of the do it yourself home kits which was a tad bit cheaper than the ones which were already completed. I remember helping my dad drill the damn holes in the 10 foot long tree shaft and putting it together. I actually have an artificial tree and think they are a good idea as you can pay for one and not have to buy another for a long time. Also if you are lazy like me you don’t have to worry about forgetting to water the real tree. And at the same time you can say you are helping to save Mother Nature.


Extension cords.

Now I am not talking about your every day ordinary extension cords as those have been around way before I was born. I am talking about the recently invented ones which have a nice little button on it where you can click it on and off with your feet. Now if you are like me your remember being younger and having a huge fucking tree with a ton of lights on it and also a ton of shit around it (I always had a model train set going around my tree) which made it difficult to unplug and plug in the tree lights. And with this nice little invention, you can save your time and your back to turn on and off your tree. I am reminded of this nice little gadget as my extension cord like this has broken and I have not replaced it and I almost fell into the tree trying to plug the fucker in.


Gift Cards.

Gifts are by far one of the best Christmas inventions of all time. If you read my great post about Boxing Day than you know how hard it can be to shop for someone. I think it is great that you can save time and just go get someone a gift card to their favorite store and let them pick out what they want. Can’t find a gift for your mole faced Auntie? Give her a nice little gift card to her favorite plastic surgeon. Now I know some of you are saying these gift cards make you a thoughtless (hey at least you are getting a fucking gift card) but if you are as busy as I am then you understand that you don’t have much time to shop for people. And by giving them the gift cards you make them spend their time to shop for themselves instead of you using your busy time to shop for them.


Christmas Lingerie.

Now this is the greatest Christmas Invention EVER. No words are needed in giving you a description of them, so I am just going to leave you with some pictures which can do a much better job than I can with my babbling bullshit.

Well I hope you have enjoyed another installment of Great Inventions.