A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Ban Lemonade

A little over a week ago the US Open golf tournament took place just outside of Washington DC in Bethesda, Maryland.

Sometime during the tournament, a group of kids decided to set up shop just outside the golf course and sell lemonade. In this country having a lemonade stand is a rite of passage as lemonade and lemonade stands are just as American as apple pie, baseball, and hot dogs are.

The aforementioned kids were going to sell the lemonade in bulk (they had coolers and coolers) and donate all of the money to children’s charities. Seems like a noble cause right?

That is until the Montgomery County stepped in and shut down the kids lemonade stand. You see the county had placed a ban on vendors within county limits. The county officials also slapped the kids parents with a nice little $500 fine for the “violation”. The county said the ban was in place due to all of the traffic and congestion surrounding the golf course where the tournament was located.

And while the county was shutting down the kids lemonade stand, the county was selling hundreds of vendor permits to local home owners at $300 per permit that would allow the home owners to charge people attending the tournament for parking on their property. Some of the home owners reportedly made over $10,000 over the course of the four day golf tournament.

The inspector who shut the kids down was quoted as saying, “Cute little kids making five or ten dollars is a little bit different than making hundreds.”

So little kids can’t sell lemonade to raise money for charity because you won’t give them a permit, but you will let home owners buy a permit to make thousands of dollars for themselves. Make money for charity is bad and making money for your selfish ass self is perfectly ok.

Congratulations Montgomery County officials, you are officially a huge bunch of fucking douche bags.

At least you taught these young kids how fucked up government bureaucracy can be. I wonder if the kids were selling the lemonade for their own profit if they would have allowed them to keep their stand up and running.

And some of my readers wonder why I detest local, state, and federal government.

Well when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and sell it at a lemonade stand. But make sure you have a fucking permit first.


  1. So Ridiculous. Way to teach kids "Hey kids, just don't try to do anything, because the man will fuck you if you do."

  2. this is rediculous.
    since when do kids need a permit?
    really stupid!

  3. [outburst]That's fucking horseshit. [/outburst]

  4. Post their address. Let's get 100's of people to mail them a lemon with the word "Sourpuss" sharpied on them.

    Maybe they'll get the hint?

    Maybe they'll turn around and make lemonade?

    Either way, seems like a fun idea...

  5. Government bullshit. Reminds me of a story I wrote on Sprocket Ink a few months back about girl scouts having the same problem selling cookies on the sidewalk outside the former home of their founder, which is now a museum dedicated to girl scouts.

    This is something they had been doing for years and people would seek them out in this location. Little did they know they were outlaws all those years.


  6. @ Lurker, yes you are right.

    @ Yandie, yep it is an important lesson to learn apparently.

    @ Chio, same here.

    @ Violet, such is the state of the country we live in now.

    @ Lost, that could be a good idea.

    @ Simple Dude, yes I remember that post about the girl scouts. That is ridiculous as well.

  7. The American Dream. Back in action, repressing peoples everywhere. Guh.

  8. I hope that they sell lemonade and use the money to pay the fine and that people line up to buy some paying extra per cup!

  9. Why do there have to be so many idiots out there?!?

  10. That is absolute shit.

    Considering its such a major shafting of the good guys...hopefully it gets enough attention that the kids can accomplish part of their goal even though they didn't get to sell lemonade.

  11. @ Anna, yep you said it perfectly.

    @ Laughingmom, if i were close to this town I would gladly pitch in.

    @ Texa, I have no idea but if you find out you will be one rich woman.

    @ Brandi, yes it is.

  12. I grew up in Bethesda MD and I have to say that I am thoroughly embarrassed by the actions of my beloved Montgomery County. What a heap of fucking bull-shit! I am sorry for the kids and the charity that will not be getting a nice donation.

  13. That just ticks me off. Nothing like teaching kids early on the government works against them.

  14. Somebody should write to the local paper, and give those lazy ass bureaucrats the tongue lashing they deserve, what a bunch of hypocrites and crooks. It's about time we all start fighting city hall...

  15. The way I understood this story, the kids were in THEIR OWN FRONT YARD! I don't remember exactly but it seems theirs ages were like 8 and 10.

    How much would you like to bet that they would have been denied a permit because of their age to begin with?

    I also understand that they've rescinded the fine ... only because of the public outcry, but there never SHOULD have been a ticket issued to start out with. If there was a problem why not just knock on the door and tell the parents "hey, they can't do this?"

    I'll tell you why ... no money in it for the county, and that's ALL government cares about. It's always about the green.


  16. @ MommaC, I agree with you.

    @ TS, yep I agree.

    @ Alessandra, yep you said it perfectly.

    @ Sally, I am not sure if they were in their own yard or not. Either way it is still ridiculous.

  17. cock suckers - that is some bullshit. how else is this economy supposed to turn itself around

  18. Wow! Just when you think you've heard it all. I mean, they're kids selling lemonade! For charity! That's so evil I half expect to see Monty Burns in the background, rubbing his hands together & saying, "Excellent!"

  19. They let them have it, they just had to move it.
    They were warned before they were fined.
    However, I believe they didn't want the stand there outside the gates because it would mean people might not buy from the venders inside.
    Always about the money.

  20. Oh goodness. The Man steps in again.

  21. That's like a 9 yr. old getting slapped with Jury duty by accident. The law is just an unfeeling blanket.

  22. @ Ryan, yep I agree with you.

    @ Vinny, I would not have been shocked to see Monty Burns.

    @ Ruth, in either case I still think it is a load of crap.

    @ Cake, yep he sure did.

    @ Copyboy, yep.

  23. Re-fucking-tarded...and yet, all at once, not in the least bit surprising. This day and age sucks. Big fucking donkey balls. The end.

  24. More proof that earthlings are stupid!
    Your gov. in action...

  25. Wow that's ridiculous. Like you said, at least they see at a young age how messed up our governments are. Sad really.

  26. This is perfect example of misuse of governmental powers/authority. Not the best way to reinforce the values of giving to those less fortunate. Those officials who closed down the lemonade stand and fined the parents are major douche canoes!

    The Ranter’s Box

  27. I am totally with you that this is really ridiculous. But if you think about it - what if it was their parents setting up shop and selling the lemonade and the cops shut that down. Would there have been such a public outcry? The other folks had to buy permits to sell parking spots - I can see where they were just enforcing the rules too.

    I see both sides of the story.

  28. I heard about this and was appalled. I hate politics, money-hungry bastards. Seriously, money can never and will never buy the things that SHOULD make this world turn: trust, love, hope, family, etc.

    My stomach is officially ill now. Our society is so screwed.

  29. @ Reck, I so agree with you.

    @ Pat, yep.

    @ J-Tony, yes it is sad.

    @ Empress, yes they are douches.

    @ Shelby, if that was the case I would still be pissed off because they allowed homeowners to buy permits so they could allow people to park. One way of making money is ok but not the other? Yea I would still be pissed off about it.

    @ Mack, yep.

    @ Virgin, yep we are screwed.

  30. just plain sad. great way to encourage initiative, not

  31. @OT - my understanding is that if they would have gotten a vendor's license they could have set it up. I could be wrong though.

    Also, they like you said they waived the $500 fee eventually and also allowed them to reset up 500 feet away from the busy intersection where it was much safer out of the high traffic area.

  32. @ Janie, yes it is.

    @ Mynx, yep.

    @ Shelby, I agree with you to a point. It is the "hypocrisy" of their actions and the quote of the dumbass that has me upset.

  33. I happen to live in Montgomery County and minutes away from where the tournament takes place. I know and have seen the makeshift parking lots for homes around the course entrance. Somehow I missed this story in the local news (probably because I don't watch the news).

    Here's an interesting fact: the personal residences that turn their property into parking lots are right now River Road, one of the wealthiest areas in Montgomery County. The homes sell for several million so the owners don't even NEED the money!

    I am featuring this post on my site today. Thanks for sharing.

  34. @naked girl - it is true. And the kids who were selling lemonade are kids of very wealthy parents...Mariotts (hotel)and Augustines (Lockheed-Martin)

  35. I think what you really have to understand is that only rich people have the right to a profit. It's not that kids with lemonade stands are wrong, it's that daring to screw your neighbors without first buying a house on the green is clearly socialist.


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