My Weiner Has A First Name

It is Anthony.

You remember that song for the Oscar Meyer hot dogs right?

Anyways, if you did not already know it Congressman Anthony Weiner (no joke here that is really his name) was recently busted for sending naughty pictures of his weiner to a large number of ladies across America.

First it came out that he had sent a topless picture of himself to a college student in Washington State. When that hit the news, Weiner said that his phone was hacked and someone sent it to the lady.

Then he came out of said that the picture was not him and that someone stole his phone and sent it. Yet he never contacted police.

A week later it came out that he sent more nekkid pictures of himself to a woman here in Texas. He then denied it and said that it was not him.

Later on he said the picture may have been him, but someone else had sent it.

After another week more women came forward with pictures of his weiner that Weiner had sent to them. One woman even had a transcript of his yahoo chat with him.

Weiner then came out and admitted that he had lied the whole time and that he was sorry he had done it. What he meant to say was that he was sorry that he got caught.

He then said he was going to check himself into rehab for what happened. I laughed because I did not know that they could treat “dumbass” in rehab. He should have taken his 534 colleagues from Congress with him if they can indeed treat “dumbass”.

And a couple of weeks ago Weiner resigned from Congress.

Now I am not mad at him for sending pictures of his weiner to ladies, I mean whatever floats your boat. I am not even mad at him for lying to the public during his press conference. I mean if you look at the job description for a politician it has lie, cheat, and steal as numbers one through three for their responsibilities.

I am mad at him for not being a better liar. I mean we hold politicians to a very high standard of lying here in this country. His lies were pretty weak in my opinion. He went through the trouble to lie to the American people, why didn’t he lie to the women he was sending a picture of his weiner to? Hasn’t this guy ever heard of a fake yahoo email address or about lying about who you are online? You could lie to us but not the skanks you emailed your weiner to? Weiner has no common sense when it comes to lying and this is why he should have resigned instead the reasons he listed for doing so.

I am also a little mad at him because he was married. He has a smoking hot wife at home and he was sexting with multiple women and taking pictures of his weiner and sending it to them. If I was married to that hot lady, my penis would never be out of her vagina long enough to take a picture of it. Here is another man in a position of power cheating on his lady (yes what he did is cheating in my book), and a beautiful lady at that. Sheesh.

I do find all of this very funny though given that his last name is Weiner. You couldn’t write better shit than this if you were comedian. On a side note, Anthony Weiner looks a lot like Beavis don't you think?