A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Monday, February 28, 2011

My Boy Blue Got Shit-Canned

Last year I wrote a nice little post about how I think that Charlie Sheen is my hero. I wrote that little piece because well Charlie gets paid to basically be himself and get paid for it on tv. A pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

A couple of weeks ago Charlie went on another one of his cocaine fueled benders and had a threesome with a couple of whores. Having a cocaine filled night of debauchery is normally a typical week day night thing for him since he has all that money to blow (and I am pretty sure that yes he has indeed done cocaine off of a stripper/hookers ass before). What was weird about the night of Roman like pleasure was that sometime during the early morning hours he checked into a hospital (maybe he had that hard on for longer than the little blue pill recommends having) and then checked into rehab after getting out of the normal hospital.


Well last week CBS came out and said that at the end of this season that they were canceling the show (you can read about it here and here). CBS said that they were canceling the balance of the show due to Charlie Sheen’s recent "statements, conduct and condition."

Recent conduct huh? He has been a partying man whore for the better part of the last 10 years or so. He was the number one customer for Heidi Fleiss. He has gotten arrested with hookers, beaten one of his wives and beat up a couple of girlfriends as well, trashed a hotel room with a hooker, and he has been mentioned on TMZ more times than any other person in recorded TMZ history. Charlie did nothing a few weeks ago that he has not done in the past since he has been the star of “Two And A Half Men” on CBS. So either you were fucking stupid, blind to his behavior, or you were too busy counting all of the fucking money that his on/off the tv set behavior was bringing into your company through the tv show.


Then it dawned on me what the recent behavior was that got him shit canned form CBS. It was the part of the cocaine sex night where he checked into rehab. Checking into rehab a few weeks ago was the only thing that he has done recently that he has not done since he has been on that tv show. Yes checking himself into rehab was over the top to CBS. Apparently they wanted Charlie to be completely off the wagon for the publicity and the interest in the show that his bad boy behavior brought to it. And we all know that a sober Charlie Sheen was/is not good enough to bring in ratings and advertising revenue for CBS (in their opinion) so they are ending the show. God fucking forbid we have a sober Charlie Sheen.

(By the way the guy who called him Wild Thing in that movie was better than Nostradamus)

Yep that is how I see it.

Well Charlie let me tell you this, Hollywood is a place full of fucktards who can’t make a decent movie/tv show if you held a gun to their pet kick dogs (one of those little dogs Paris Hilton always has shoved up her ass) head and threatened to kill them. I say fuck em’. You don’t need Hollywood Charlie, Hollywood needs you.

You Charlie are my American Hero. I think Disney Land should wrap you up in the American Flag, give you some blow and a couple of hot women, put you on a float, and parade your ass all through their park. What Disney is owned by ABC and if ABC can have a show about horny/slutty/cheating housewives, then by all means they can parade my favorite man whore hero through their park.

You are my boy blue!!!!!!

Edited to add: I would like to say that I wrote this post on Sunday and set it up for auto post for this morning prior to Charlie getting on tv this morning and sounding like a street corner crack head.

53 comments:

  1. He's had one roller coaster of a past 25 years, hasn't he? At least it's somewhat amusing to watch...

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  2. I love watching interviews with him recently...the guy if off his rocker. I love trainwrecks LOL

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  3. What an interesting take on Charlie. And, it does make sense for them to be against him in rehab. He needs to be int he tabloids so people watch his show. Rehab is a possible ticket to his last article in Cosmo.

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  4. "I'm an F-18 bro, and I will destroy you."

    someone's been taking too many of gaddafi's hallucination pills, methinks.

    chomp, chomp, pass, charlie, you selfish bastard.

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  5. @ Idaho, exactly it is amusing to watch it roll on down the tracks.

    @ Birdshit, I agree that his interviews have been funny as hell. I saw one recently where he was talking about his "Social Crack Habbits" and it was crazy funny.

    @ Paul, that is exactly my point.

    @ Kage, chomp chomp pass the pill bottle is right.

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  6. Charlie's great but he could stand to take a break. The guy looked aweful in his morning interview. Thin and for sure not in his right mind. He's on a binge and will be back shortly. Now if he could just be quiet....

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  7. Great post. And have you ever seen Californication? Nip/Tuck? Those shows are all about sex and drugs. And they make it look cool. If you are going to throw stones at Sheen, then take those shows off air. I know they aren't real, but still, it sends a message.

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  8. OFT- I love my Sheen, I have been a die hard fan of the man making no apologies and indeed getting paid just to be himself. But dude I swear to you, anyone who has ever even possibly driven past a mental hospital could diagnose my baby Sheen. The interview OMG, I have seen more sane behavior in a committal hearing. I kept looking at the man that has more than once taken me to my personal happy place and cringed. He looked like a freaking death muppet. Like Jim Hanson was working the wires. Then I heard the shit he was spewing. I actually wanted his dad to walk in put his hand over the camera while his brother drug him away. No dude, comparing smoking a dozen or so 7oz crack is not like using a freaking toaster. No dude amazingly enough you are not God. I know your brain is telling you that right now, but don't repeat that shit, it shall get you locked up. I was actually hoping his on air drug test would come back positive so I didn't have to know in my heart my man is bathshit crazy rolled in fucking grandiose Adonis delusions. I don't want to watch him die. I am going to watch major league now.

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  9. "You don’t need Hollywood Charlie, Hollywood needs you." ROFL!!!!

    love this perspective!

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  10. The more I watch this story, the more convinced I am that Martin Sheen really should run for president, then Charlie could "reform" and pull a Dubya winning once his dad was done his 2 terms. Can you imagine the crazy that would ensue were that to happen?

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  11. I really think the reason they canned the show was the way he landblasted Chuck Lorre. And I love the show, and we all have to admit that Charlie Sheen has out Charlied himself lately.

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  12. @ Mamma, I know he needs a break, that is why I suggested a trip to Disney World.

    @ Mash, you brought up another great point. Those shows show what Charlie does off screen. And yet they are on tv.

    @ Peachy, I think watching Major League is a good idea.

    @ Williams Girl, thank you.

    @ Tavin, that would be awesome. At least then we would all get our fair share of sex.

    @ Krystle, that might true. But I like to think my version is the correct reason why he was fired.

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  13. Now if only him and Lindsyy Lohan would hook up!
    Their story would end in fatal double overdose...

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  14. Damn, Charlie. I'm so disappointed in you. Rehab is for quitters.

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  15. The interviews they are airing now are like crack for the masses - who can quit the habit when it is SO delicious!

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  16. The debauchery was the draw!

    And just when Rose was about to have her way with him!!

    I'm very disappointed CBS...very disappointed.

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  17. I never really minded Charlie Sheen because being a bad boy is his entire persona since day one, you know?

    But...this weekend...those interviews...what a cockhead. Serious.

    I still love you OT!

    hed

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  18. It must be dead weird being charlie and knowing a night of multiple hookers and cocaine is as normal as going to Food Lion is to the rest of us. You can see how the attraction would wear off.

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  19. @ Pat, if Charlie and Lindsay hooked up they would probably cancel out each others craziness and lead sober lives. How boring would TMZ be without them 2 on it?

    @ Mrs Hyde, I agree.

    @ Laughingmom, I agree with you there.

    @ Primed, yes the debauchery was the draw.

    @ Hed, it is ok. You don't have to always agree with me. I don't mind.

    @ David, that is very true.

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  20. Honestly it's about time. This dude is a danger to society and belongs in jail, not on his own TV show making millions.

    So wrong :(

    Get a new hero OT, how about Linsday Lohan?? She's still getting offered work these days too.

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  21. I gotta tell you, I am not a fan of Charlie Sheen. I am interested however to see where this shit storm is heading.

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  22. @ Myjoy, I don't know if he is danger to society, I mean he is only hurting himself.

    @ Cake, I am curious to see where this is all heading as well.

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  23. @ Everyone Who Reads This, you do know that I am kidding about Charlie being my hero right? I am my own hero and don't need anyone else.

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  24. WARNING: Misogynist statement to follow:
    Had a tough time getting past that first picture. I saw that the title had "Canned" in it and then I saw Charlie looking at his girlfriend in the blue nightie (I forget her real name).
    Talk about "cans."
    DISCLAIMER: Not how I really feel.

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  25. The latest tv interview with my friend Charlie is completely over the top and batshit crazy. He sounds beyond delusional. Being a man whore, partying a bit and screwing anything with two legs is one thing but right now he is out of control. Add in his demands of 3 million an episode because of the emotional stress he has to go through, and well the guy is cuckoo for cocoa puffs ...which makes me so glad that I never slept with him. He really needs some help and fast!

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  26. Maybe they don't like that he's going to rehab since it's admitting that he has a problem. Prior that they were free to look like jackasses and say, "Charlie? Nah, he's fine. Just a li'l good natured fun he's havin'."

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  27. I still don't understand why he needs to pay for sex? Then again, I have a hard time getting laid but I am too poor to consider paying for it.
    before you got to the part about your conclusions as to why they canceled the show I was thinking 'rehab isn't good for their image'. Sadly, the character he portrays in the show isn't really acting for him, so then they CANCEL IT?! It must be because he is no longer fit for the part. Riiiiiiiiiight

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  28. Al, it is ok if you feel that way. She has a nice rack. Nicer than mine, even

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  29. @ Al, it is ok dude. I spent a while looking at that picture before I posted it.

    @ Empress, he does need some help after his interview today. I find it mildly funny that I posted this post this morning before he had his break down on tv.

    @ Katsidhe, you are correct with that.

    @ Miley, yep you summed it all up nice.

    @ Miley, and yes she does have a nice rack. Charlie wouldn't have it any other way.

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  30. hta ti si why i do not ever want to know the "real" celebs...it just makes me sad that my invented idea of who they are, in my head, is not always accurate...

    fuck the man!

    "this is the last year i shovel shit for a living"

    "that's what you said last year"

    "no. i mean it this time..."

    "that's what you said last year"

    from men at work with sheen and esteves...

    pure fucking genius!

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  31. He is so talented! it kills me that he's doing that to himself.

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  32. I was totally against you until you came up with the Disney float with blow idea. Brilliant my man!!!

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  33. @ Bruce, I agree with you. And that movie is awesome.

    @ Emily, yep that is true.

    @ Copyboy, thank you sir. I am glad you liked that bit. I didn't think anyone would notice that.

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  34. Charlie has lost his freaking mind. Or maybe he lost it a long time ago and we're just now seeing it the extent of it. He's on another planet.

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  35. i know i already posted but i just thought about it...charlie was on a phone interview with dan patrick on his sports show on fox sports (detroit, here) like a week ago and sounded fine...

    it is a bummer...

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  36. Thank you for the "edit" because he seriously sounded like a tool this morning quoting the AA handbook and all that other nonsense. The guy is out of control (granted this isn't something too new) but should his co-workers have to tolerate that? I think not. After he comes out attacking the network he had to expect something like that to happen.

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  37. @ Frisky, he is in another galaxy.

    @ Bruce, I heard that interview on the Dan Patrick show as well and he sounded fine.

    @ Jewels, No problem. And what he said about the network is what I said above. He hasn't done anything different in the last 10 years and they were too busy counting all the damn money to notice that he was messed up all the time. He does have a point about that.

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  38. I missed him at the Oscars. Did he do anything extra special .. like use the microphone "inappropriately"

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  39. Now I get all the tweets about this on Twitter. LOL. I haven't got a clue what's been going on in pop culture. Thank GOD I have you!

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  40. Hollywood is fickle anyway. I just hope he had a good accountant. His daddy is pretty bright. Maybe he took care of it.

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  41. @ Jenny, I did not watch the Oscars so I have no clue.

    @ Cinderita, well I am here to help the masses.

    @ Jen, yes I agree.

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  42. I saw this quote today from Charlie and laughed my ass off.

    "They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show."

    Charlie Sheen.

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  43. I'm pretty sure he's got his own religion in the works.

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  44. That boy has always been a train wreck, and that show was perfect for him. He didn't have to ACT because that is his life. I think it's a shame they can't just suck it up and get along for the viewers, but maybe Charlie seriously needs to get away from that show to straighten out. It amazes me that he's still alive, but I have got to go read why you consider him your hero now.

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  45. I was a bit surprised they canceled the show, too. Isn't the script sort of a water-down version of his real life? They sure don't have to think too hard to write new material. While he does seem a bit narcissistic and grandiose as of late, he does have some valid points. I don't think they should have canceled the show either.

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  46. I didn't see his interviews live, but I saw clips later and my God, he sounds like he's lost his freaking mind.

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  47. It's all the good life until the heart blows up, right Mr. Belushi?


    http://timkeen40.wordpress.com

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  48. Oh my damn...I cant read all those damn comments.

    I totally used your blog post in my Pop lit class today. We have been reading "A Scanner Darkly" by Philip K Dick and we got into discussions on Identity and Drug Abuse. Thought it was funny that I read it before class and It ended up being relivant for school.

    I freaking love Popular literature. Where else do you learn about drug trips and crazy people and make connections to real life issues???

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  49. @ Nikki, I think you are on to something there.

    @ Krissy, it is fun to watch a train wreck.

    @ Kernut, I agree with you.

    @ Hannah, either he has lost his mind or he has found some really good drugs.

    @ Tim, true that.

    @ Brandi, wow that is cool that you used my post in class. I feel "published" now. And try TMZ for more drug crazed celebs.

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  50. I never really liked Charlie Sheen and it really didn't surprise me that all this went on. Now I just want this issue to shut up! I can't even turn on the freaking TV or radio without this being blown in my face 24/7...

    The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps

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  51. @ Ditz, I agree the 24/7 non stop what the hell did he just do or say coverage has been over the top.

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  52. If I had all that money I'd be doing drugs and whores as well. Isn't that the American Dream?

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  53. @ Tony, I would not say it is the American Dream per se. I mean how do you explain Amy Whinehouse?

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