A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I Got Awarded And Tagged Again

Well it has been a very busy couple of weeks for me so I am a little late in getting around to the business of blogging. I recently was awarded the “Stylish Blogger Award” by three different people within one weeks time. I was given the award to me by Okie Blogger, Bold Remarks, and by Absolutely Primed. You should go check out their blogs as they are all worthy of reading.

Thank you all three of you for the award even though I am not so sure about how my blog is “stylish” per se since I am not one of the blogs that fits the typical stereotypes of blogs. But thank you just the same.

Now the award is supposed to have some rules just like all of the other awards out there. I have to thank the people who gave me the awards which I did. I have to tell seven things about myself which I am doing below. And I have to pass the award onto 15 other people. Well I don’t have time to sit down and go through the hundreds of blogs that I read to come up with some. I am just too busy and too tired to do so. And since this award was going around like an std at a high school prom, I am going to refrain for once in passing the award onto others.

So here goes seven truthful things about me:

1. I was not one of the popular kids in high school. I was friends with almost everyone which spanned across the clicks in high school (ie cool kids, dweebs, skaters, stoners, jocks, whores, yellow bellies).

2. I am not a red neck although I do like some redneck things like Nascar and monster truck jams. I mean who doesn’t like to watch a giant ass truck run over a double wide trailer?

3. I think about weird shit all the time. Like stuff I am sure that no one else thinks about.

4. I am not a morning person. I have to drive 50 miles one way for work and I often do not remember driving most of the drive when I get to work.

5. I cannot live on this earth without coffee. If coffee were to go the way of the dinosaurs, I would have to stay home as the urge to drive people off of the road would be too great.

6. I am a hopeless romantic at heart but the same time I am the world's biggest pessimist. 

7. I am beyond glad that my kids like the same music that I do. Although I guess I could blame it on the fact that I am a selfish bastard when it comes to what I want to hear when I am in the car. Although my kids think that I am a huge ass nerd because I also listen to sports talk radio from a couple of local am stations.

In addition to being awarded recently, I have also been tagged as well. I was tagged by Jewels since I made a comment about these question and answer things being fun. And well she digs my sense of humor so she wanted to see how I would answer the questions. Like the award I won’t pass this one like a bad std.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are the members of your family? Pets in my house hold are treated just like people. They all have names and nick names as well. I have a Norwegian Forrest cat that is more human than half of the people I know and is treated better than most people I know.

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? A nice sizeable check from the lottery folks which that one dream come true would take care of all of my other dreams which I need to have come true.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? I hate politics and politicians of both damn parties. I am beyond sick and tired of their damn bullshit. They have ruined our country.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? I would get the fuck out of Texas to start with. And then I would travel the world and take my kids with me. I would home school my kids myself and teach them history by taking them to actual places where history happened.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? Beer normally does the trick. And when I don't have beer, humor usually works for me.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? I think giving is better than receiving. Unless you are talking about giving me a sammich and then I am a receiver.

7. What is your bedtime routine? See the question below. I spend some “quality” time with myself and then watch some tv until I pass out.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner? I am not currently in a relationship per se, but I am pretty “tight” with my left hand. Me and old lefty met in the womb.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be? I would like to see what drugs the band The Bloodhound Gang do in order to write their songs. They come up with some of the funniest songs I have ever heard.

10. What kinds of books do you read? I read mostly stuff about history. At the moment I am in the middle of reading four different books about World War 2.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time? I would just like to be able to see myself in the mirror in ten years. In other words I will be just happy to be alive. Though in ten years I want to see my kids halfway done with college and decent young people.

12. What's your fear? That I will fail as a father.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space? Me give up Buffalo Wild Wings? No fucking way. I live 20 minutes from the Johnson Space Center, that is about as close to space as I want to get. Especially considering that you get to space on something that the lowest bidder made. Not a chance in hell.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? Well considering that I have already been married and poor, I will go with the single and rich part.

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? The first thing I do when I wake up is throw my alarm clock against the wall.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be? Well since I am dating my left hand, I would have to say self lubrication would be nice.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? I am pretty happy with the name that I have actually. I just wish people would stop calling me Shirley.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done? I have a hard time with forgiveness. Some things in my mind are not forgivable, like what my mother did. Although I have forgiven her, she will never know my children.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Oh wow since I am hungry, I would have to go with some wings. Me and wings are in love with one another. I can put down a farm full of chickens in one sitting.

Well there you go fans of the Trash, there is some get to know you stuff. I hope you enjoyed reading my babbling bullshit and it made you giggle a little.


  1. Congrat the award, Oil! :) I enjoyed your answers, too. ^_^

  2. Good stuff and No.8 struck a chord.Congratulations.

  3. Congrats on your award and I'm with you on the coffee thing.

  4. Yay Bloodhound Gang! I used to know all of the Hooray for Boobies album by heart (except Yummy Down on This... never cared for that song)

  5. Hey Shirley, maybe you should get to know the right hand a little better? No, seriously you are already well beyond being a successful father and writer. Nice knowing you!

  6. I can imagine a flock of stumpy chickens, trying to flap about, and ruing the day they met your appetite. Well-put-together blog, and much deserved on the awards. Grats.

  7. Ha. HAHAHA-- my box to you is getting mailed today. I have a feeling you'll think it's funny. ;)

    And I've lived my life thinking monster truck jamss = redneck. Dude, I just don't know how it can't be.

  8. i go to hooters with a friend and his boys, every christmas eve, just before i go and buy my gifts. it is the wingdingity!

    i love me some wings.

    and i never let my left hand know what my right hand is doing...it is kinda like a fucked up threesome!

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  9. Congrats on the award! A world without coffee is a terrible place. I never want to see that day. I just gotta have my morning coffee.

  10. @ Katsidhe, thank you.

    @ Lurker, thanks.

    @ Mash, hell yea coffee makes the world go round.

    @ Yandie, how did I know at least of the lovers of trash would get that reference.

    @ Kirsten, every time I try to get to know the right one, the left one gets all jealous and shit. Thank you.

    @ Lost, thank you.

    @ Sara, thanks. I will be on the look out for it. And it is redneck but they sure are fun to watch.

    @ Bruce, I might have to get into that tradition of yours going for wings instead of going to church on Christmas eve.

    @ Laynee, thank you. And I agree with you on the coffee.

  11. Haha I love that you have NO FILTER! LOL HILARIOUS!

    Congrats on the award!

  12. @ Becca, thanks.

    @ Williams Girl, that is true I have no filter at all sometimes. Thank you.

  13. That's why you and I get along because we're both weird. I'll bet that some of the weird stuff you think about has crossed my mind as well.

    So you're a lefty, huh? Good to know.

  14. Congrats! Great answers.

    1. I used to think I was alone when it came to crazy thoughts. Then I started blogging & realized there's just a whole batch of people who fear a zombie apocalypse.

    2. I share your sentiments on coffee.

    3. The Bloodhound Gang are truly on something special.

  15. @ Mrs Hyde, that is so true. Nothing wrong with being weird. And yes I am a lefty.

    @ Vinny, thank you. I am glad you agree with me on those points.

  16. Congratulations!

    Ok, we might be twins separated at birth if it wasn't for the 9-19. I'm with you on all the others though, and 14. :)

  17. You had me at coffee and running people off the road.... if you ever need a side kick for that venture I AM YOUR DUCK!

  18. hey shirley! i used to use bloodhound gang onstage - "along comes mary" for my naughty nun costume, "asleep at the wheel" for my racecar costume, and "balls out" just cuz i liked it.

  19. You have a new follower. Seeing as you comment on almost all my favorite blogs, it was only a matter of time. :-)

    Bagel Fairy

  20. @ Kernut, thank you. And I can't be perfect and please everyone all the time. I got half of them right though.

    @ Daffy, I will make sure and call you when that happens.

    @ Kage, that is cool. Did you ever dance to the stripper song??

    @ Bagel, well thank you for the following.

  21. Vodka/bottle of wine and humour get me out of a bad mood too.

    Oh and fucking. That's a sure win.

    I'm right there with ya and the Space thing. I'll stay grounded with my junk food thankyouverymuch.

  22. Oh shit...and congrats on the award guy!

  23. Hahah, I laughed in the middle of a class reading this. Thanks for that, bori g math is gonna kill me...

  24. Congratulations on the award! ...There is nothing wrong with Nascar. There is something seriously wrong with just about all politicians. Morning time is not happy time. And I hope you win the lotto!

  25. Great answers! Couldn't stop laughing! I'm NASCAR all the way too! Who's your driver? Oh yeah, and coffee? I'd take it in an IV if that were safe. I cannot function without it. (Maybe I shouldn't have brought up needles since I know how you feel about them.)

  26. @ Galore, alcohol and fucking work wonders, but I am dating my hand so that only takes me so far. And thank you.

    @ Erasmus, I hope you didn't get into trouble for laughing in class.

    @ Empres, thank you. I agree with you about the morning time and politicians. And damn I need the lotto.

    @ Hannah, I am glad I got you to chuckle. If I could do needles I would take the coffee in an iv as well.

  27. You definitely have a unique RFLMAO, down-and-dirty humorous style. I like it.
    I especially like #6, 8 and 15 above. I hate mornings too.

  28. Surely you are deserving of the many awards you've received.



  29. Congratulations on the award! It's well deserved! And I hope you take your left hand out to dinner every now and again.

  30. Loved the answers...as I suspected I would. I am way too scared to be around the bloodhound gang with or without drugs (though I don't think they are without too often) but if you ever get the chance be sure to let me know how that goes! As your relationship with lefty-I about spit out my water when you mentioned self lubrication. Wouldn't that be a handy little trick!? haha.

    Congrats on your stylish blogger award as well. :)

  31. Congratulations!
    Don't worry about being the only one who thinks of weird shit. Not only do I think them, I sometimes take pictures of them.
    Exhibit A: My picture for "Penwasser Place."
    I rest my case.
    Now, who wants pie?

  32. Great answers! I have one of these to do, as I was recently tagged as well. Hopefully, I won't fuck it up like I usually do with awards and such.

  33. @ Robyn, thank you very much.

    @ Pearl, I honestly don't think so.

    @ Cinderita, thank you. And you are right I need to take left out for a meal. Or at least a drink.

    @ Jewels, I knew you would love my answers.

    @ Al, thank you. Good point.

    @ Heather, thank you. Just relax and let it flow, that is what I do.

  34. Hey congrats on your award. Hmmm beer combined with naughty thoughts. No wonder I love your blog when you're in one of your dark "Steelers" lost moods.

  35. You may fail at winning the lottery but not as a father. You're the most involved dad I know

  36. You should be up for another award to my friend... "The Guy who makes the time to comment on the blogs" award because every where I look, you make the time to comment on peoples blogs... you are awesome that way! And if I haven't said so, thanks for all your comments. Gawd I am getting mushy, break out a kleenex for me, I am starting to get all misty eyed!

    And Yup, you did make me giggle, especially number 16, i hope you respect your hand in the morning and it is just not a one night stand! :)

  37. @ Copyboy, thank you sir.

    @ Miley, ah thank you.

    @ Averagegirl, thank you. No problem. Just don't go crying on me. I don't like it when people cry. I always respect my hand, lefty has been taking care of me all these years.

  38. Great answers. Can relate to a number of them. I think there are a lot of people who are romantic at heart, but have been either jaded by personal experience or from just seeing things around them.

    An early bird I am not. I don't like mornings. I like the night--dark--everyone else is sleeping. Dang, I sound like a vampire. Oops. I just like staying up late--more fun.

  39. @ Virgin, yep that is probably me to a "T" in that I am a little "jaded". There is nothing wrong with being a night owl, I am one as well.

  40. Congratulations! (I say while finishing yet another cup of coffee).

  41. @ Pat, thank you. And I just had another cup myself so I know what you mean.

  42. You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on the Discovery channel.

    Again, another post that cracks me up. Being an Aussie, you're gonna have to explain what a yellow belly is because here in Aus we have yellow belly fish, yellow belly snakes, and teeny tiny yellow belly bees.


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