Well I woke up the other day to see a post from Mynx where she had a good “get to know you” post. The post consisted of a list of what five things you do not leave the house without having. Needless to say she some “hugely” creative answers for her five things she never leaves home without.
In the process of “answering” and participating in her post, she had to “tag” five people whose blogs amuse her to get them to answer the question as well.
So here you go now in no particular order are my five things I never leave home without.
1. I never leave home without my wallet. Now I know this is cliché, but seriously my wallet contains an American Express card so I can’t ever leave home without it. No that is not the real reason; the real reason I always keep it with me is that if I ever come down with Alzheimer’s disease I would like the proper authorities to get me back to the right house and family. Well if I did come down with it maybe they should take me to a rich families home, it is not like I would remember anyways right?
2. My car is also something I never leave home without. Another cliché one I know, but my trusty green Pontiac is a 2003 which I bought brand new and currently has 230,000 miles on her. Yes her paint is fading, but she has been getting me all over the country and back safely and smoothly for 8 years now.
3. My bat is something that is always in the trunk of my car. My Louisville Slugger is a long time friend of mine and you just never know when it may come in handy. What can I say; you always have to be prepared for the zombie apocalypse right? And what better a way to defend yourself with than a nice Louisville Slugger. Did I mention that I was a pretty good hitter back in college in softball intramurals?
4. I also never leave home without my wit. Seriously it is the most lethal weapon on the planet and yet at the very same time it can heal any wound or make someone smile. One time (back when I was married) my ex sent me to Walgreens for “feminine pads” and since I had my wit with me, I made the most of the situation. I not only got “feminine pads” but I also strolled to the checkout counter with a box of condoms, a bag of chocolate, and a bottle of KY lube. The old lady looked at me (scowling) with my odd combination of items. I looked back at her and spouted off with, “Hey it is her night for anal.” The old woman laughed and turned red as a tomato. I probably made her day in more ways than one.
5. I never leave home without my balls. Although when I was married they were theoretically in my ex’s purse sometimes, so I did leave home without them but that is besides the point here. They are attached to me and I am attached to them. And after what they have been through, I don’t leave home without them. Sorry ladies I will not be posting a picture of their smooth likeness.
So there you have the five things I never leave home without.
Now on to you ladies out there who have been waiting patiently for this post to be posted. If you have been following me for a while, you are aware that I said for every 50 followers I get, I will post a picture of myself. Last time when I got to 100 followers, I posted a picture of myself back from my days as a stripper. And at that time I promised you that if I got to 150 followers, I would post a picture from my days as an internet model sensation. I am sorry this is delayed, but I actually hit 150 followers during my Superbowl week postings and I did not want to delay them as they were timely. So here you go ladies, drool away.
Here is the picture of me back when I was an internet model. You can see all the pussy was lined up to view me back then.
I do want to take this time while you are all puking your breakfast up (after seeing that picture again I might join you) to thank you for your support. Thank you for reading my blog, and thank you commenting on my blog. I try to read as much as I can of all of your blogs, but with being so busy all the time, sometimes it is hard to get to. But I thank you for your support. When I get to 200 followers I will share another picture of myself with you. Maybe it will be from my acting days just after college.