A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Friday, February 18, 2011


I sometimes feel irrelevant in life. I have spent my entire existence trying to be relevant, yet I often feel like the 6 string acoustic guitar in the corner of your room which only has 4 working strings. Everyone wants to tell others that they have you, but no one wants to pick you up, fix your two broken strings, and actually play you till their fingers bleed.

I feel like I am just not appreciated.

At work I do the work of 3 full time employees and I rarely get recognized for my valuable contributions.

At home I am just the guy who provides groceries, a roof over the head, lights to read by, clothes, does the dishes, cooking, etc. I always do nice things for my kids and take them everywhere. I coach their youth sports teams.I rarely hear a thank you.

I would say something about a social life, but alas this guy does not really have one due to working so much and being a single parent so I rarely get to hang out with friends.

Love life, yep that one is nonexistent as well since women just are not interested.

It would be nice to occasionally hear from someone who says “thank you” or “I really appreciate all that you do”. 

I know all of you people reading this appreciate me and you have said as much. I am more referring to the people that I actually see on a day to day basis.

I feel alone all the time even when I am around people. It is if I am a riding around town in Wonder Woman's jet of invisibility and no one can see me.


  1. I think we all go through times like that, hon. Sorry you're feeling low right now. If it makes you feel better, there is a new Wonder Woman! Even a smirk? I know the aloneness feeling quite often, if that makes you feel any better.

  2. Everything you say is true and you are right but we are what we are (humans) and things need to change.

  3. I'm chopped liver - but i love me!Times are such that common manners are a thing to praise rather than expect.Continue to be a role model to your children and you will get it back ten-fold!

  4. @ Krissy, yea I heard that they are making a new wonder woman. Someone also told me it was going to be Megan Fox. I still will only think about Linda Carter in her sexy outfit.

    @ Lurker, thank you.

  5. I have to echo Krissy (because that's exactly what I was going to say) - we all go through that sometimes. As far as kids though I heard my parents complain all the time about how ungrateful we were and now that I'm older I realize how much they did for me and my sisters and appreciate it and tell them so. Unfortunately I'm afraid raising kids can sometimes be thankless until they're old enough to be parents themselves. :-/ One day though, one day.

  6. Krissy and Cake pretty much nailed it in that we all go through feeling like that, and being a parent is a thankless job. Hang in there, Oil.

  7. Actually the new Wonder Woman was announced yesterday as Adrianne Palicki, the girl who played Tyra on Friday Night Lights.

  8. You know...there are some pretty sweet tunes that can be played on a 4 string guitar. Tunes that can't be played on a 6 string; or even a 12 string. It just takes a really talented person.

    Chin up OT...sendin ya some warm cyber hugs from cold cold Canada

  9. Why Mr. Oilfield, you have such nice blond hair and a terrific set of boobies!

  10. @ Cake, it is not just with my kids that I feel that way. It is with pretty much everyone.

    @ Katsidhe, thank you.

    @ Krissy, I don't find her attractive. Plus she is a blond and I am partial to brunettes and redheads. So she can't hold a candle to Linda Carter in my eyes.

    @ Primed, that is true, but not a lot of people know how to do that.

    @ Kev, technically they are called "moobs".

  11. When I was a kid my dad was amazing. We, his kids, became his life. He didn't have friends to hang out with because he was to busy with us. Whether it was taking us camping, leading my scout group, coaching my soccer, baseball, basketball team. Driving me to the ski hill. He sacrificed so much for us and as a kid I never said thank you.

    So now that I'm a grown man, I thank my father every time I see him for what he did for me as a kid. I thank him for turning me into the man I am today. I'm sure your kids will do the same. You sound like the kind of father that raises awesome kids.

  12. XOXO!! We all feel like this from time to time. I think i means you're making a difference in this world because you're so busy! But I know that's backwards thinking.

    If it counts, thanks for posting an honest blog! It's nice to hear we're not alone in this world

    Happy friday!

  13. I actually feel that way too...at work mostly. I just figured though that if I don't expect appreciation, its not such a disappointment when I don't get it.

  14. @ Hero, you are lucky to have a dad like that. My dad just drank all day. And I am not sure if I am a great dad, but I think I do a good job most of the time.

    @ Jenn, I am not sure about that. And thank you for your comment. I always write honest blogs from the heart.

    @ Mash, maybe I need to do what you do and just not expect anything.

  15. I don't mean to criticize but that chopped liver doesn't look chopped, it looks pretty whole to me. This is chopped liver ->


    (: Keep your chin up.

  16. @ Anna, I even failed on my chopped liver picture. lol Yes you are correct it is whole and not chopped.

    I will try and keep my chin up.

  17. Parenting is super tough and I'll be the first to admit that I was a real shit to my parents and gave them all kinds of grief. Now when I look back I can't believe I didn't appreciate them more. I do now though, so I hope that makes up for it in their eyes. Keep hoping (as I do with my own kids) that when they get older they will finally appreciate everything you have done for them.

    Hugs for you, OT! You're a great guy!

  18. I know this sounds cliche, and kind of annoying, but your kids will thank you when they are older. I don't think I thanked my dad for much of anything growing up, but I thank him often now.

  19. @ Hannah, I know what you mean. It is just hard to do some days. And I don't know about the great part.

    @ Paul, I sure hope they thank me some day. It would be nice if it was sooner rather than later, but I will take what I can get.

  20. Watch that whole "keeping your chin up" thing. Easier for ninjas to sneak up behind you and give you a close shave.
    We appreciate you (didn't you just say that?). So, how can you possibly be irrelevant?

  21. People walk into me all the time, that's how invisible I am... I hear ya, sometimes I wish I could make all my blog friends come to life and have them living near me. This is as close to a social life I have.

  22. I HEAR you!!! While being sick, I felt very underappreciated. I was wondering who was going to take care of ME. Guess what, I took care of me while doing laundry, and scooping the cat poop. At least I don't owe myself any favors.....

  23. Hey man I recognize you're a talented writer with a lot of funny 'n emotional thoughts swirling around in his head.

  24. Come on out of that jet, it's time you made some YOU time. Time for what you want to do, whether it's hanging with your friends for an hour, or doing the things that give you pleasure, time to start appreciating yourself for you and all that you do. No excuses now.

  25. @ Al, yes you always have to watch out for those pesky ninjas. Thanks for reminding me.

    @ Nikki, I feel the same way as you do. I wish sometimes a lot of my eFriends were close to me.

    @ Kristen, I was the same exact way when I was sick. I know all too well how you feel.

    @ Copyboy, thank you sir for that nice compliment. I know I am appreciated and recognized here.

    @ Twilight, I am going to try and do that this weekend on Sunday. I am planning on going to eat some boiled crawfish with some friends of mine. I may have my kids with me though so I guess I have to make the most of it.

  26. It isn't usual to feel that way. Many of us do from time to time. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell you to start appreciating YOU and taking care of YOU as well as you care for everyone else.

    I'm guessing you are long overdue for some quality "you" time. Think about what does or will make you happy and then put steps in place to make it happen. Your number one project in life should always be you.

    In the meantime, here is a great big bloggy hug and a reminder that you are loved and appreciated by many here in the blogosphere.

    Hugs and Happy Weekend my friend!!

  27. I hear you too, my friend. Ditto what Nikki said, also. Mr. O., I'm leaving the Bay Area (as you know) after nearly 20 years, and many or most of my friends have not so much as sent an email "See ya." Talk about irrelevance. I think people are just generally selfish - except here. If only we could all live in an actual Bloggerville.
    Virtual hugs and hope for better days.

  28. Robyn.. I'm glad we don't lose you no matter where you move, woman! :) You are stuck with us.

  29. @ Empress, I am glad to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. And hell yes I am way overdue on some "me" time. Way beyond overdue.

    @ Robyn, that just sucks. If I were in your town I would kidnap you and not let you leave.

    @ Krissy, exactly.

  30. Fucking blogger just ate my comment! I swear I just need to write my shit in Word and copy and paste.

    Let me try to reconstruct my brilliance...

    You. I only know you from this world of blog. I love reading your shit everyday. I love the effort and feeling you put in to commenting on other's blogs as well. You absolutely brighten my day. That being said, I know that this domain is no substitute for real life interactions, acceptance, appreciation and love. Keep doing what you do, buddy. It is appreciated here, fo’sho’.



  31. You guys are so sweet. Lots of love back to you, OT and Krissy. xo

  32. Thank you. You have done lots for me over the years. I know I've told you I appreciate you before but it should be said again. You're a good guy. So, thank you.

  33. This may not mean much, but can I send you hugs? ***HUGS*** I really mean those hugs, by the way.

    I've felt the same--I'm beginning to think it's part of life and we just have to push through and rise above it. Easier said than done, though. I've even cried. I said it...tears, they do flow during these times. Sometimes, I think we grow stronger from feeling irrelevant, even though we may not realize it. Does that make any sense?

    I'd like to thank you for leaving comments on my blog--I really, truly appreciate them, and always look forward to reading what you have to say.

    Okay, more hugs whether you want them or not. {{{HUGS}}}

  34. I can certainly relate sometimes, but then I remember some wise words (I forgot from whom) that say--"We don't raise grateful children, we raise responsible adults."

    Your kids will speak of your part in their life and how they appreciate it when they get older.

  35. @ Heather, thank you for your kind words.

    @ Robyn, no problem. I have to look out for my favorite Jewish girl.

    @ Miley, thank you very much.

    @ Virgin, I know how you feel. Sometimes the irrelevant makes us stronger. No problem, I comment on what I enjoy reading.

    @ Betty, thank you. I know my kids will one day acknowledge all of my hard work.

  36. I can't relate to the ungrateful kid thing, but whenever I feel unappreciated or lonely, I just shout at someone until they write me a sonnet.

    Not sure how useful that is for you, though...


    - B x

  37. I'm sorry that I haven't been around much. Heck I haven't even been on my own blog much lately. But I adore you! Your posts are often funny, insightful and honest. As this one is honest.

    I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch, my friend. I won't tell you to keep your chin up but I will suggest that you find something that you do just for you and that you enjoy.

  38. Take a moment and go do something for yourself....something totally selfish.
    Sometimes it's also not about everyone else it's about appreciating yourself and saying...fuck I deserve this. Now don't be going all Jon Gosselin and break the bank ohn Ed Hardy T-Shirts, hair implants, pork rinds, and beer. That just turns ugly and look where it got him:

    Hope I made ya giggle. Seriously though, treat yo'self.

  39. I think learning to thank people comes from your own parents. My mother always thanks me for helping her , it's just the kind of person she is. So I've grown up being someone who is thankful and I like to let people know that what they have done means something to me. On the other hand my husband rarely thanks me for anything I do but expects a big round of applause and a brass band for putting the washing on or doing the dishes. I thank him for the things he doesn't have to do but does but I shouldn't have to thank him for being part of the family and participating in family chores.

    In terms of feeling irrelevant...well I look at people like Naomi Klein and think I am not doing anything relevant with my life. But I think about how important it is to bring up my kids to be independent thinkers, to have humanity and be citizens of the world. I guess part of my problem is that I used to be a Marekting Manager, had staff, went to lots of meetings, travelled overseas most of the year etc so my life now is different.

    A lot of time you'll find me vascillating between wanting to go back to full time work and just wanting to be a stay at home mum. And needing a margarita. :-)

  40. I'm not even sure what I could say. You feel what you feel right. But sometimes what we feel and what those around us actually think are entirely different things. You may think you're insignificant, but never be certain of anything.
    I know, not exactly uplifting, but anything else I would say would be echoing the words of my fellow bloggers. You are a talented writer. Go with that...and I suspect you're an excellent dad. In the end, that's all that is going to matter.

  41. The karma points are being tracked and stored!
    You are a good guy! If some folks in your life don't know it yet, they will eventually...
    One more thing, Thanks!

  42. @ Barreness, maybe I should try yelling at someone.

    @ Semi, thank you. I am going tomorrow to have dinner with some of my friends. So yes I am finally going to do something for myself.

    @ Galore, thanks for making me giggle. Yes I am doing something for myself this weekend. I am going to eat 10 pounds of boiled crawfish which happens to be my favorite under the sea meal.

    @ Tracey, I know exactly how you feel. My ex wife was the same way wanting an award everytime she did something. It got really old really quick.

    @ Sandra, you are right about the perception vs reality thing. Thank you for your kind words. I have never been called a "talented writer". You just made my 12th grade English teacher roll over in her grave. lol

    @ Pat, I hope you are correct. Thank you.

  43. I love your writing, so let the teach roll over and over again. It's hard when you work so hard and easy to feel unappreciated.

    They may not know how to express it, but I bet your kiddos LOVE LOVE LOVE you and see all you do.

    We do. I'm constantly impressed when I read the stuff you've done. You're a good man - and pretty entertaining, as well!

  44. This makes me want to help you, OT. I'm going to mail you some snow.


    I don't know how that will help, but hey! Couldn't hurt!

    Your children are self-centered little beasts. There's nothing to be done about that. They'll realize your true value once they mature. Around 35 or so. :-)

    Unfortunately, an appreciative boss, co-workers with brains, these things are in short supply. All I can say is that I've been there. Hang in there -- these things are fluid.



  45. Sadly it's always much easier to say nice things to those that are not close to... it's messed up really! We all forget those that are closest and unfortunately human nature allows us to take these people for granted. I am sure those close to would say more if they read your post

  46. The more you do for people the more the expect of you. It's like the prodigal son, does bugger all, goes off and does his own thing, comes back the hero....It's different with your kids but at work some times it is better to say, sorry can't do that now I'm busy. It might take awhile but if you stop doing everything for everyone and get on with what you need to do then they will eventually appreciate you more. I have also learnt that more times than not what people think they need and ask for is often not what they want. So you might do exactly what they ask and still end up disappointing them...

  47. what they said!

    and if it means anything, your kids will apreciate you whne they get older, specially cuz your ex is a doofus...

    cheer up little buckeroo!

    i know exactly what you are saying!

  48. @ Janie, I sure hope they appreciate me.

    @ Pearl, snow will help. No really it would. And they will probably write about me the way you do about your dad. I will be a legend one day.

    @ Sex, you are probably correct in that assessment.

    @ BlackLog, you are probably right.

    @ Bruce, thanks pal.

  49. Hey Oilfield. Not sure if telling you I often feel the same helps or hinders matters.

    Being so committed to your kids says a lot about you, and they will understand and appreciate it, but likely not until they are older and are parents themselves.

    I usually feel pretty insignificant. Like shit at work. And I often feel lonely, even with a great partner.

    Just know you are funny, talented (Sandrs is right, so is Bruce, so is everyone, pretty much), and obviously loving. Things will look up soon.

    If not, MAKE time for dating, and consider a new job. You have to make yourself happy where you can, if you can.

    We're all rootin' for ya. Honestly.

  50. I'm sorry that you feel that way. I hope things will turn around. Maybe if you plant a little seed in the people around you, very subtle that appreciation is all people like you need, or something like that, maybe someone will take notice.

    The Adorkable Ditz' Missteps

  51. @ Stephanie, thank you for your kind words. I hope the kids realize it before I am gone. And the work thing just sucks. Oh well. Thank you for thinking that I am talented, that means a lot.

    @ Ditz, I hope things will turn around as well. And I think I will try your advice.


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