A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Depression Is Normal, Right?

I wish they made a pill for depression.

What is that you say? Oh they already make pills for depression; well shit I guess I am late to the self help game.

No I wish they made a pill for depression that did not have side effects. All of the pills out on the market today have strong side effects which are worse than the actual depression. You know the side effects I am talking about where the pills give you chest pain (as if you didn’t already have it from anxiety), loss of appetite (as if you could eat anyways), loss of sex drive (if you were getting laid you wouldn’t be depressed right?), insomnia (like you didn’t already have trouble sleeping), gas with an oily discharge (nothing cheers you up like half ass shitting yourself), and suicidal thoughts (isn’t this what you were trying to avoid in the first place).

All jokes aside, I am depressed. I have been depressed for a while for a multitude of reasons that I won’t bore you with. Suffice to say I think I need a vacation. A vacation away from all adult responsibility.

I think I need to look into making a new pill for depression. A pill with no side effects and can tap into already existing problems that I have. You know a pill that could encourage my inner procrastinator side and make me put off my depression for another day. I think I could make a lot of money off of that idea.

Till then I wish they just had this pill below. Yes I know this picture is really old, but it is still funny to me.

48 comments:

  1. It took several tries for me...check out havidol.com ! I do hope that you can get a break from the stress!

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  2. Can I offer you a hug? Hope you feel a bit brighter soon.

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  3. Its still funny to me too. We all need a vacation but, thing is, all the same shite is still there when we get back.

    Put on yer big boy knickers and handle things one at a time.

    *BIG HUGS*

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  4. I used to take Zoloft from age sixteen to eighteen, and as soon as I turned eighteen I quit taking them and felt better.

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  5. As soon as you make that, please let me know Daddy, 'cause my medication(s) works only marginally, and I still deal with side effects.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're fight with depression, too, and if you need to vent, you know where to reach me.

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  6. The closest thing I have found to what you are looking for is a weekend in Vegas. Thus my impending trip. It works like a charm, only with slightly different side effects like being broke as fuck by the end of the trip and a hangover that takes two days to recover from.... all minor in my opinion for the few days of completely bliss.

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  7. well depression is normal these days, ppl without work with no money what so ever, 2 many single perents etc.. so ye it's normal but i would not take any pills that is for sure

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  8. i am in the same boat as you... i need something.. just with out the side effect... tho I think I am going to break down and try something... and hope that maybe ill be an odd ball and the side effect wont bother me... or maybe at least i wont be sad that i am shitting myself at work everyday.... lol.

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  9. ps. if you need to vent or anything... im here... overthinkingmama@gmail.com :-)

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  10. And this is why I drink massive amounts of caffeine. Get high enough to not notice the crippling depression.

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  11. @ Lurker, I could make some money this way maybe.

    @ Laughingmom, I am not sure if meds would help to be honest.

    @ Mynx, I could use some hugs.

    @ Lass, that is true to an extent. But let me say that I always have my big boy knickers on and that is why I want a vacation.

    @ Chio, I have heard from others who have said the same thing.

    @ Katsidhe, I am going to get my idea patented so I can make this pill.

    @ Randomgirl, have I mentioned that I am very jealous of your trip?

    @ Dejch, yea maybe it is more common than I thought.

    @ Mama, I am really glad to know that I am not alone in how I feel.

    @ Joshua, I drink a shit ton of coffee daily. Caffeine doesn't help me in that regards.

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  12. A vacation from all adult responsibility sound great to me.
    I watch my diet for my mental health. If I have too much sugar and too much processed foods, I get depressed. It took me many years to figure that out.

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  13. Aww Oilfield, I'm sorry. I'm going through the same shit right now, and so are a lot of other bloggers out there in the interwebz. I'm not trying to diminish your problems, just saying, you're not alone. Hope you feel better soon.

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  14. There's your problem. If you're putting a ton of shit in your coffee, it's not going to taste very good.

    *crickets

    No? Oh well.

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  15. @ Ruth, maybe I should pay more attention to my diet. Hmm...

    @ Cake, I am starting to think you are correct. It seems a lot of us are feeling down.

    @ Joshua, that might be it. Less vodka more coffee.

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  16. I have anxiety, and I refuse to take the pills because it makes me unable to orgasm...lol. I could deal with all the other side effects.. just not that one.

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  17. @ Heather, that right there has to be the worst side effect of any drug that I have ever heard of.

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  18. You find them, you let me know m'kay? I could use a wheelbarrow full.

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  19. Isn't that the truth?! I'll save you the pep talk and instead just say that I hope you DO take that vacation because sometimes thats just what it takes to recharge. Its okay to get away from it all sometimes. We forget that there isn't anything wrong with giving ourselves a 'pass' every now and then taking care of the 'self'.

    Shit...was that a pep talk anyway?

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  20. Crap...I think that made me comment anon. Don't know why stupid blogger. But the whole nix the pep talk thing was from me...Daffy.

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  21. @ Sally, I will let you know.

    @ Daffy, it is that recharge vacation that I think I need. And part of why I need it so much is that I can't take a vacation for the next 6 months because the only person who can fill in for me is on maternity leave. But thanks for the pep talk.

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  22. A Fukitol along with my broken 'give a shit' meter, and there could be some serious side effects! All joking aside, I hope that you do get your break to regroup and let your mind rest. We all need it from time to time, that is for sure!

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  23. That is a funny pill! I am sorry you are depressed, OT. I know that isn't fun. My husband went through anxiety/depression at one time. I hope that you find that pill you want or wake up tomorrow feeling much, much better. Make if someone made you a "sammich" you'd feel better? No? :(

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  24. {hugs}

    Everyone else said what I'd say. Yea, it's normal. Yea, it sucks. Yea, medication may or may not help you. But a couple things to keep in mind...

    (a) If you run out of non-medication options, it isn't considered a failure by any means to give it a shot. Know that it isn't a quick-fix though - some meds take weeks to regulate your hormones correctly.

    (b) You don't have to take pills forever...maybe you just need them for a little while to get over this hill in your life.

    I hate it when I feel like I'm off my game in a serious fashion. It's a horrid, circular, self-feeding cycle. I hope you pull through sooner rather than later.

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  25. I am a big fat fan of anti-depressants, oily-discharge side effects and all. Like the t-shirt says: I used to care. But now I take a pill for that. ;)

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  26. Thanks for sharing the amusing photo. At some point or another we could all use some pills like that! ...Here is a big batch of hugs and hope your situation improves soon.

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  27. Why do side effects always have to be bad? Why can't side effects be awesome sometimes, like it consequently also burns fat, smoothes wrinkles, tones skin, etc?

    Anyway, I h*te to hear you are depressed. If it's not too hot outside, perhaps get some sun therapy? That helps me. Or go out and buy something nice for yourself? That helps me too.

    {{BIG HUG}}

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  28. @ Texa, that is exactly what I was thinking.

    @ Kelley, I wish some sleep and waking up the next day would make it all better. Although a sammich would sure as hell help, I think you are onto something.

    @ Sam, thank you for the advice.

    @ Dawn, well maybe I will try them out.

    @ Empress, no problem. You know how I am I always have to have a joke regardless of the subject matter. And thank you.

    @ Minxy, I have always wondered that myself actually. Retail therapy sounds great right now but I am broke.

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  29. No wonder you could relate to my rant this morning. You need a vacation and I need disability to come through. I'd opt to take your pills anyday!

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  30. Tony Van HelsingMay 24, 2011 at 12:49 PM

    Sorry you are depressed, it seems there is a lot of it about at the moment. Don't let the bastards grind you down, said Arthur Seaton in Saturday Night, Sunday Morning.

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  31. Classic! haha!!! BTW...Zoloft works wonders. I know people who's lives has been changed by it.

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  32. @ Barb, yep that is exactly what I was talking about.

    @ Tony, it will be ok.

    @ Copyboy, I always keep it classy around here.

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  33. I'm sorry to read that you're feeling blue, Mr. O.T. I hope you get that much needed man time you're in need of. They may not make a very good pill worth taking to ease the symptoms of depression, but if you're looking for a little forgetfulness, I hear marijuana and alcohol work wonders.

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  34. I agree with Dawn. Find a good pill and take that f---er. I take Lexapro and have no side effects except lack of pointless anxiety, more joie de vivre and such. Might have to hunt around to find the right one but so worth it.

    jill

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  35. Depression is something I know all too well. For me writing helps but it doesn't always work...that is usually when I retreat to the Poconos and hide away for a weekend or longer drinking, writing, and getting my shit together. Sex helps of course...but I'm not getting that either currently. I say you aren't too bad until you are too depressed to masturbate!

    In all seriousness I am sorry you are down and I know how hard it can be to admit. Anything I can do you know where to reach me. I happen to be a great listener/reader.

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  36. @ Emma, I would go that route if work didn't drug test.

    @ In Bed, I might have to look into that.

    @ Jewels, writing normally helps me as well. And on a side note I reached that point last night about not being able to take care of myself.

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  37. Loved the picture! As a sever sufferer of depression I can tell you what worked for me is living the title of the pill, Fuck it all. Just adopting the attitude that fuck it all.

    Amazing how just living that helped. Of course writing ans blogging has helped tremendously.

    Good luck, hope you feel better!

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  38. Isn't "loss of sex drive" always a possible side effect? I'm thinking they're just trying to cover their ass. Anytime you want to "cyber-vent" feel free to come online (hmm, "come online" sounds dirty).

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  39. I suffer from depression as does half my family thankfully I do not have any side affects from my medication, both hubby and Kat get very tired from theirs. For a while Kathy was prescribed one of the tablets I take and she said it made her so tired she couldn't be bothered to get out of bed and she was only take a quarter of what I take.........I take mine at night before I go to bed so if I do feel tired it doesn't matter. It can be hard to find the right medication you just have to keep trying............that said I do like the sound of the Fukitol we all that at one time or another.

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  40. Buy a shot gun, avoid visiting asshats who live over seas, load up on some tranquilizers and down a fifth of your favorite liquor. Shoot anyone that pisses you off and then get swizzled until you piss yourself. It works. I've tried it. ;)

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  41. @ Greg, I am trying that right now.

    @ Al, that does sound a tad dirty.

    @ Jo-Anne, hmm I might have to look into it.

    @ Anna, damn I knew there was a way to recover with out medication. You maam are my new idol and inspiration.

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  42. I'm so sorry things are so rough. As you know, life isn't happy fun time for me, either! Perhaps we should break into a chorus of Monty Python's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."

    OR! I have a long running practical joke on my best friend that has been going on for years. She has no clue that I am involved and even in my darkest hour I find devious amusement in prolonging the mayhem. I could always bring you in on things!

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  43. I'm sorry, OT. I get it. Meaning I'm not getting laid and have also been dealing with depression for years. You did make me laugh, though, with that comment about getting laid.
    Hang in there, one day at a time, and all that other crap they say.

    Actually, what helps me is exercise, even just a brisk walk.
    xoRobyn

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  44. Ironically, my wife was recently prescribed an antidepressant to deal with her back pain... wtf is that about?

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  45. @ Buffy, it is ok. I love me some Monty Python and I might just sing that song today.

    @ Robyn, if I didn't use humor in everyday and my posts, it would mean I am dead already. And I have heard that about exercise as well.

    @ D'Artagnan, that is strange to say the least.

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  46. I can't even name all the anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications I've tried over the last 100 years. And you are dead-on about the side effects. I was crazier on them than off. My husband tells me to exercise - because that it the cureall according to him. I won't say what I do to him when he says that. Hang in there. It will get better. xo

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  47. OT - Haven't been around/online much but I just wanted to say that I hope you find some sunshine to light up the darker days. Love from the glistening North! ;^)

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