I wish they made a pill for depression.
What is that you say? Oh they already make pills for depression; well shit I guess I am late to the self help game.
No I wish they made a pill for depression that did not have side effects. All of the pills out on the market today have strong side effects which are worse than the actual depression. You know the side effects I am talking about where the pills give you chest pain (as if you didn’t already have it from anxiety), loss of appetite (as if you could eat anyways), loss of sex drive (if you were getting laid you wouldn’t be depressed right?), insomnia (like you didn’t already have trouble sleeping), gas with an oily discharge (nothing cheers you up like half ass shitting yourself), and suicidal thoughts (isn’t this what you were trying to avoid in the first place).
All jokes aside, I am depressed. I have been depressed for a while for a multitude of reasons that I won’t bore you with. Suffice to say I think I need a vacation. A vacation away from all adult responsibility.
I think I need to look into making a new pill for depression. A pill with no side effects and can tap into already existing problems that I have. You know a pill that could encourage my inner procrastinator side and make me put off my depression for another day. I think I could make a lot of money off of that idea.
Till then I wish they just had this pill below. Yes I know this picture is really old, but it is still funny to me.