A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Ladies, Show Us Your Boobs!!!

Since it is Mardi Gras right now, I think it is high time that you let us men folk have a glance at them. You have today and tomorrow to get them out and let them see the light of day (or night) before Ash Wednesday when all of you heathens have to straighten up for Lent.


Now I know what you thinking ladies, no I am not a pervert. I just happen to love boobs. All of them regardless of size or color. Small, medium, or large I love them all.

Men are genetically designed to love boobs. Hell even gay men can appreciate a nice rack. We men folk just love them and you will have to just get over it. So please don’t complain when we stare, gawk, drool, look at your breasts as we are meant to do so.


I know for many years that you ladies have all been saying that your eyes are “up here”, but there is a new reason why us men should be looking at your boobs.


A study just recently completed in Germany (you can read about it here) found that men that frequently look at boobs tend to have lower rates of heart disease than men who do not look at boobs at all.

Can you say the hell with jump rope for heart? Or maybe we could still do jump rope for heart but have only you ladies doing it so we can just watch. After all it would help your heart as well as ours at the same time.


It appears now that in addition to Cheerios, whole grain foods, and oatmeal that staring at your boobs does wonders for our hearts (don’t all rush out at once ladies to get a “heart healthy” tattoo on your breasts).

Ladies take one for the team and help our hearts stay healthy and let us men look at your boobs, sweater puppets, fun bags, girls, tits, boobies, titties, knockers, hooters, or insert your favorite boob adjective.


So women lower your shirts down just a little so we can get a view of them and remember you are doing it for our hearts sake.



I hope all of you appreciate the amount of time that I had to spend to find those pictures on the net. It tooks HOURS of looking at boobs to find the right pairs....
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84 comments:

  1. Sara StrandMarch 7, 2011 at 5:11 AM

    I will wear a shirt showing a bit of cleavage JUST FOR YOU today. I'm going to look at it like a charity event.

    ReplyDelete
  2. KellyMarch 7, 2011 at 5:42 AM

    Tehehehe...loved this.

    My boobs - the only things that I know of which can:

    -Stop my boyfriend mid-sentence
    -Make him look away from his video games
    -Get men in general to listen to me

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMarch 7, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    Sweater puppets always makes me laugh...I picture a muppet porno for some reason.

    I've also heard of cases where death has been causes by tit...try youtubing bouncing boobs and see what you come up with...even I was entertained for awhile & I see a pair every day!

    Horray For Boobies!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cake BetchMarch 7, 2011 at 6:17 AM

    That first pair looks a tiggle bitty leathery! Lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownMarch 7, 2011 at 6:19 AM

    Here here!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The Angry LurkerMarch 7, 2011 at 6:27 AM

    Good boobs, good health advice.

    ReplyDelete
  7. T. BanacekMarch 7, 2011 at 7:04 AM

    I love your blog! Boobs are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  8. CkretsGaloreMarch 7, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    Guess what concert tickets my Fiancee bought? Katy Perry. Now I would rather check out a Slipknot or Tool show but he claims it's for Kidlet's bday.

    Right. I know he beats his meat thinking of a money shot across that rack.
    Hey she's a Twit but yeah she does have a rockin' bod I would do just about anything for.

    ReplyDelete
  9. CinderitaMarch 7, 2011 at 7:13 AM

    I know just what bra to wear today to draw a little bit of attention. :) boobies!

    ReplyDelete
  10. laughingmomMarch 7, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    I require to be thrown some cheap plastic beads first!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 7:17 AM

    @ Sara, pictures or it didn't happen.

    @ Bagel, that is true. Boobs could create world peace. Especially if the Muslims would let them be out and visible.

    @ Primed, I have often thought that about the Muppets as well. And death by boob would not really be a bad thing would it?

    @ Cake, yea they are leathery looking due to all of the sun.

    @ Lost, exactly.

    @ Lurker, thank you. I am here to help everyone and this post does just that.

    @ Banacek, thank you very much.

    @ Galore, I only included the pic of Katy Perry because of the dress she was wearing with the eyes on the boobs. I would not not pay to see her in concert though. Well maybe if I got to fondle her after the show, but other than that no I would not pay to see her.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    @ Cinderita, yay I got two ladies to step up to the challenge.

    @ Laughingmom, I can do that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    @ All ladies, for the love of god take pictures. Remember I could have a heart attack if you don't.

    ReplyDelete
  14. William's GirlMarch 7, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    lol I love the visual's that go with this blog post!!!

    From a girls perspective...I also love boobs, I think they can be so beautiful, but i'm finding less and less men like them...and more favour our rears! As a well-endowed female.. this scares me a bit!! I want all men to LOVEEEEE BOOBS!!!!

    xoxoxoxoxo! Happy monday ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 7:46 AM

    @ Williamsgirl, I love boobs. I love asses, legs, eyes, hair, necks, thighs, inner thighs, hell I love the whole body of women.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Heather (aka Sugar Free)March 7, 2011 at 9:32 AM

    You don't have to ask me twice. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Random GirlMarch 7, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    Well, if it for health's sake, then how could I say no? Have you seen my blog post today? It was up before you asked, silly boy... It's all about Lacy Things and includes a pic. Just sayin'
    https://randomgirlblogs.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tony Van HelsingMarch 7, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    I'm an elbow man myself.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    @ Heather, you are a good woman. lol

    @ Random, your post today was perfect.

    @ Tony, you can be an elbow man all you want but looking at boobs helps your heart. I am not sure if looking at elbows all day has the same effect.

    ReplyDelete
  20. ThePittsofBeingPeachyMarch 7, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    WOOOOOO!!!! Go Mardi Gras ! Go BOOBS ! Great post I agree, I always bust the girls out any "appropriate opportunity" ( and funerals, it lightens the mood)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Random GirlMarch 7, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    So that's what it takes to get a "follow" out of you huh?? Note to self... boobs = blog follow. I might be on to something here. Thanks babe!

    ReplyDelete
  22. SherilinRMarch 7, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    i used to use mine to get things. like free food from teenaged boys. discounts on car repairs, avoidance of speeding tickets. the list is endless. and there was never any flashing. just a tight shirt & some cleavage generally do the job just fine.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Chelle BlöggerMarch 7, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    As a straight woman I can honestly say that I'd rather look at a woman's cleavage than a mans. Also, it is a good thing we womenfolk aren't turned on by hairy ass cleavage otherwise you guys would be flaunting it even more! :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Chelle BlöggerMarch 7, 2011 at 10:27 AM

    P.S. Please do the internets a favor and sign up at humorbloggers.com. I know the owner and she would love to pimp you and your boobs out for the drooling masses! :p

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    @ Random, well I had noticed that you followed me a while back. But when I clicked on you on my dashboard it would not bring up your profile. So I had to get to your profile through one of your comments today. Sometimes when the profile does not come up on the dashboard I forget to look for them in my comments. And the promise of boobies was enough for me to do that today.

    @ Sherilin, yes boobs do have a way of getting women things from men. Hell it even works on women as well.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 10:43 AM

    @ Offended, I agree with you. I don't know of anyone who would want to look at a mans hairy cleavage.

    And I will check out that site.

    ReplyDelete
  27. SausageMarch 7, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    I agree, check this out
    http://theycallmesausage.blogspot.com/2011/01/we-all-know-dolly-parton-for-her-lovely.html

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 11:17 AM

    @ Sausage, that is just pure awesomeness.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Some Chilean WomanMarch 7, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    Mine: always in display somehow.

    ReplyDelete
  30. that guyMarch 7, 2011 at 11:24 AM

    This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!

    it is how i wanna go...fuckin boobies

    Bruce and Tucker
    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear


    (legal shit...Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/reddfoxx317199.html#ixzz1FwY2eMRW)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    @ Chilean Woman, you are a great woman indeed.

    @ Bruce, nothing wrong with that way to go out.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Henrietta CollinsMarch 7, 2011 at 11:54 AM

    my boobs and i are highly offended!....that our picture didn't make it into your post.

    goddamn it.

    ReplyDelete
  33. RebeccaMarch 7, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    be careful you could seriously poke your eye out with one of those if you get to close then it won't be your heart you have to worry about

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    @ Kage, send me a picture to makedaddyasammich@yahoo.com and I can easily add a picture to this post to make sure that you and your boobs are no longer offended.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    @ Becca, I wear glasses so I should be ok.

    ReplyDelete
  36. laughingmomMarch 7, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    Forgot to mention that you could probably get a good deal on a pair of used ones - if you feel like reading my post...

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    @ Laughingmom, are you talking about used boobs or used beads? And aren't all boobs mostly used by the time they get around to me? Yes they are. lol

    ReplyDelete
  38. KrissyMarch 7, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    Seriously? You are pulling the sympathy card now to keep your heart healthy? As we say in the South, "Bless your heart!" I'll remember this the next time a guy stares at my chest though, and I'll tell him he's welcome for the boost to his health. I guess it makes sense that it keeps the blood flowing pretty well.

    I do applaud you that most of the ones you showed don't look fake with the exception of the "boy toy" ones.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    @ Krissy, don't be hating on my healthy post. lol

    And yes I did for the most part try to pick real ones.

    ReplyDelete
  40. not displayedMarch 7, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    OT- I know you have seen pictures of my girls so I am not showing you again. I have already done my part for your heart health. You are welcome to steal the pic for future health related posts.
    Love this post. :)

    ReplyDelete
  41. RawrMarch 7, 2011 at 1:08 PM

    oh la-la, nice pics

    ReplyDelete
  42. The Frisky VirginMarch 7, 2011 at 1:28 PM

    Thanks for the laugh. I'm sure those were tedious for you. ;)

    So, next time a guy thinks my eyes are a little south of my neck, I'll just randomly ask how his ticker is. How much you wanna bet his mind won't immediately go to his heart?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 1:37 PM

    @ Mymx, yes I have already seen the pic of your girls. And what nice girls they were. So thank you for doing your part to help us men stay healthy.

    @ Rawr, thank you.

    @ Virgin, you are welcome. If you ask me, of course I will say it is doing better since I am looking at your boobs. lol

    ReplyDelete
  44. laughingmomMarch 7, 2011 at 1:42 PM

    Maybe if I hung some used beads from the boobies they would look more attractive???

    ReplyDelete
  45. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    @ Laughingmom, I would have to see a picture to give that assessment.

    ReplyDelete
  46. CopyboyMarch 7, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    Just so you know I read this article for the words.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Dawn@Lighten Up!March 7, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    Well well well. And who was giving me grief for wanting to see bobbing franks n beans on my post the other day, hmmm?
    Show us yours first ;).

    ReplyDelete
  48. DebMarch 7, 2011 at 3:27 PM

    Boobs: More powerful than a locomotive and I own TWO of them (boobs, not locomotives). Only thing is they are somewhere under the long underwear, shirt, fleece vest, sweater, jacket and down coat. If I can't find them you can't see them. Check back in August.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 3:35 PM

    @ Copyboy, I read this for the article as well.

    @ Dawn, I wasnt bashing you for it. I was merely saying that I didn't want to see it.

    @ Deb, ah so what you are saying is that winter time has covered them up? Gotcha.

    ReplyDelete
  50. KrissyMarch 7, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    OT... Hating on your healthy post? LMAO... I wouldn't do that to you. A few more cocktails and I might have to save your life some day. ;)

    Copyboy.. You probably never saw words on this post like most guys. But we love you all anyway. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  51. Al PenwasserMarch 7, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    Sweater puppets......oh, that is fantastic!
    I have to admit that, when talking to a woman who's wearing a shirt showing cleavage (or, as the French say, "clevahggge"), I have to force myself to look into her eyes so she doesn't think I'm a perv (but, I have noticed the bottoms of my eyes have wicked good peripheral vision!).
    And, just so you know, when I saw the first picture in your post, I couldn't help but sneak a little peekaboo at her bottoms. Sorry, guess I'm a pig. Gonna go check them out again.
    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  52. katsidheMarch 7, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    I enjoy my chesticles a little too much because they make me spend all of my money at Victoria's Secret.

    ReplyDelete
  53. RapunzelMarch 7, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    I came over to your blog after seeing the accompanying photo on Robyn's blog. Which is actually a very strange thing to do cause if I wanted to look at boobs I could just look down!

    Rapunzel x
    *Tales from the Tower*

    ReplyDelete
  54. UnknownMarch 7, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    Awesome post - having been so thoughfully schooled by yourself, I'll have to dig the girls out of winter hibernation and make sure the guys I know have their apple equivalent tomorrow! ;)

    Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 4:30 PM

    @ Krissy, ok just making sure.

    @ Al, I am a pig as well so look all you want.

    @ Katsidhe, how did I forget the chesticles adjective. Damn I am slipping. And that place will make you spend a lot of money.

    @ Rapunzel, yes from the picture you have up that is very true.

    @ Tav, thank you. Trust me those guys will thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  56. BrandiMarch 7, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Im all about some tatas! The one thing my kid did for my body was give me bigger ones... I still like to jump on occasion and marvel that they actually jiggle and its awesome that i can look down and see my own personal boob clevage now.

    ReplyDelete
  57. BBMarch 7, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    Oil...Mynx sent me to this post and I love it. They don't call me Bouncin' Barb for nothing you know. I'm glad I am helping a fellow man's heart when I walk, laugh, cough, etc. My Bruce must have one healthy heart too 'cause he can't get enough of them. Especially at the beach. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Al PenwasserMarch 7, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    I hadda come back here after that disturbing video of Jimmy Kimmel's butt.

    ReplyDelete
  59. KristenMarch 7, 2011 at 5:53 PM

    Show me some beads first -
    OH Shoot -camera's broke.....

    ReplyDelete
  60. The EmpressMarch 7, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    Glad to know that me and my nice rack are providing a valuable health service to men. Yesterday my friend (aka Gay Husband) told me that my boobs looked so great that I could turn a gay man straight. Yay boobies! ...On another note, do you think I will get as much reader response (as you did for this post) if I do a post on nice ding dongs? ; )

    ReplyDelete
  61. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 6:07 PM

    @ Brandi, I envy you. You must have some view when you look down.

    @ Barb, well you sure did earn a good nick name. Thanks for coming by.

    @ Al, no problem. I have had this page opened up all day long to cheer me up.

    @ Kristen, ok I will post a picture of some beads.

    @ Empress, thank you for your helpful service to us men folks health. I am not sure if you would get this kind of response. But hey go for it, you never know until you try.

    ReplyDelete
  62. AnonymousMarch 7, 2011 at 6:22 PM

    You don't need me to post eye candy for the guys who read my blog when you have such great taste in posting your own. haha. I love your idea and I'm totally on board! Since my eyes are red as shit and I want NOBODY looking at them I'll just shove my "girls" out there instead to draw attention away from them. Thanks for the inspiration. I have never minded men looking at my tits...I get a bit upset sometimes when they don't to-to be honest. Mine are great-they should be enjoyed.

    ReplyDelete
  63. BBMarch 7, 2011 at 6:45 PM

    Consider me a follower now as well. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comMarch 7, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    I'll show you mine if you show me yours. J/K. But what's in it for the ladies?
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  65. Oilfield TrashMarch 7, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    @ Jewels, you have the right attitude.

    @ Barb, thank you.

    @ Robyn, ok that is a deal. And you ladies get to have us men folk live longer.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Dr. McCoyMarch 7, 2011 at 8:18 PM

    Oh, all right...if it'll help prevent heart attacks and shit...Just check out my FB page... tons of cleavage there.

    ReplyDelete
  67. AnonymousMarch 8, 2011 at 3:08 AM

    lol Brandi! Maybe I should have a kid too, just so the little monster can give these little mosqito bites of mine a boost... *snorts* they'd only go from a small bite to a freakin' gum drop. But still *ponders* it would be an improvement.

    And Oilfield, I'll stuff my bra just for you today. ;) ... if I can find one freakin' pair of socks. *slams fist against table. winces at the slight pain it caused* Where the heck have my socks gone devil woman!?

    ReplyDelete
  68. DonMarch 8, 2011 at 6:45 AM

    There are 4 or 5 photos of boobs among the 75 pics in the Mardi Gras slideshow @ http://www.riverfronttimes.com/slideshow/mardi-gras-debauchery-2011-nsfw-32725655/ if you want to look for them.

    ReplyDelete
  69. PearlMarch 8, 2011 at 8:10 AM

    Well if it's in the name of science...

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  70. Shazam7March 8, 2011 at 8:16 AM

    haha - I was reading your blog and the WHOLE time wondering how many pairs you went through to find the perfect pictures for your blog post. I'm glad you made mention of that at the end.

    Here's to your heart!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Oilfield TrashMarch 8, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    @ Mrs Hyde, I will have to check it out.

    @ Jessica, I happen to love boobs of all sizes. Even the small ones.

    @ Don, thank you very much for that link.

    @ Pearl, it is in the name of science and medicine.

    @ Shelby, yes it was a rather long and exhausting search over the internetz to find them.

    ReplyDelete
  72. ErasmusMarch 8, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Hmmm, boob appreciation day...I like it. I'll have to let my girl know it's good for my heart, and be sure to feel them up just a little bit more. For my health, you know. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  73. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comMarch 8, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Dear Mr. O., I think you misunderstood my question. I asked what we ladies get out of it.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  74. David MacaulayMarch 8, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    OK - I confess I sometimes skim over posts. Not this one, though....

    ReplyDelete
  75. AnonymousMarch 8, 2011 at 9:20 PM

    Oilfield, I happen to love my small boobs too. I could be one of the few who won't be sagging down to my knees when I'm 40. So I'll be able to save my ductape for something else other then keeping the girls up. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  76. CatieMarch 9, 2011 at 5:18 AM

    Dang, you should check out my post, like i said there i will say it again here. "Nothing like a religous holiday where women flash their breasts."

    http://www.catiesjourney.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  77. Oilfield TrashMarch 9, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    @ Erasmus, yes you should let your girl know.

    @ Robyn, you ladies get to see me smile. lol

    @ David, good man.

    @ Jessica, that sounds like a plan to me.

    @ Catie, ok I will check it out.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Dr. CynicismMarch 9, 2011 at 8:27 AM

    Amen. God bless you Oilfield Trash, for all that grueling internet research that you had to endure.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Kernut the BlondMarch 9, 2011 at 9:01 AM

    Several women were sporting really low-cut tops at a fairly conservative, but casual and low-key, event last night. I couldn't figure out why, but now I know! Today I will show off the girls, just for you! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  80. Oilfield TrashMarch 9, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    @ Dr, thank you sir.

    @ Kernut, I may have just started a world wide trend here.

    ReplyDelete
  81. MileyMarch 14, 2011 at 6:38 PM

    Thank you for not posting anything from your spank bank. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  82. AnonymousApril 30, 2011 at 5:26 PM

    LOL! I'm glad that you finally found the photos with right pairs.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Oilfield TrashMay 3, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    @ Miley, you are welcome.

    @ V, yes so am I. It was hard work to find them.

    ReplyDelete
  84. AnonymousJuly 8, 2011 at 4:37 AM

    Lovely exchanges here! Why can't the world be like ancient India - those people had no problem celebrating boobs. Their goddesses all had beautiful breasts and they have them in their places of worship, carved into their culture for future generations to enjoy! None of them covered with anything but jewellery by the way!

    ReplyDelete

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