Crazy Texas Laws

So the lovely state where I live has some crazy laws on the books still to this day. I am sure that other states do as well but today I am going to focus on Texas. I had written this post around six months ago and just forgot about it and never got around to posting it. And in that time I have seen others do some similar posts as well and I was reminded of this fact last week. One of the good ones is Powdered Toast Man, and you should go check out his blog.

“No Sodomy” – Really this is a current law in Texas. A gay couple was arrested for this 10 or so years ago when cops responded to a “break in” call from the couple’s neighbors and the cops busted in and found the couple having sex. It went all the way to the Supreme Court and I don’t remember the outcome. But no anal sex, really it is against the law. Which to me explains why there are so many bitches in the State of Texas, because nothing cures a woman who is a bitch like some good ole ramming it in the wrong hole anal sex right?

“Dry Counties” – Yes in 2011 there are counties in the country which are dry and do not allow the sale or consumption of alcohol. I guess alcohol is treated like the modern day plague of the earth. Really it is the religious right which is responsible for this law in mostly rural parts of Texas. But it begs the question, if alcohol is not allowed then how do all of the ugly people have sex on a Friday or Saturday night?


“Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.” – This one is strange. Somehow six dildos is ok but the owning of a seventh one is bad. I guess you can have too many sex toys. I guess it was once again the Baptists who are responsible for this law as one dildo per week is ok as long as you don’t have one on Sunday. I wish they sometimes selectively enforced this law because it would mean my ex would be in prison for life.

“It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.” – I guess I could see the intent from this one as at one point in time it means that people were shooting out of a second floor window. But I wonder if it is legal to shoot a buffalo out of the third floor windows?

“It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.” – This one is just crazy. In Texas everything is bigger, and Houston leads the nation in drunk driving, both in crashes and people arrested for it. So if you can’t have more than three sips of beer at a time, how come the colleges here in Texas still have students?

“It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.” – Now this one is funny. You can have a vibrator that is not realistic and does the same job as a dildo but you can’t have a realistic dildo. Fake unrealistic cock is ok, and fake realistic cock is not ok. I wonder when real realistic cock will be banned.

“It is illegal to sell Limburger Cheese on Sundays” – Actually I think this law is good and should be extended to all days of the week.


“It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.” – This one made me laugh out loud. How many people could you arrest in a bar on any given night because they were feeling someone up? I wonder if they would arrest a hooker for giving a hand job and a john for paying for it under this crazy law.

Well I think that is enough crazy Texas laws for you to read for one day. If you are interested in looking up some of your states crazy laws, here is a great website for doing just that.