In case you were not aware of it, summer time has arrived here in Texas. In the last two weeks it has been above 95 degrees every day with 100% humidity. And the night time low has not gone below 75 degrees.
On Saturday the thermometer on my front porch reached 100 degrees. On Sunday the thermometer reached 101 degrees. Now keep in mind that my thermometer is in the shade on my porch, so I am sure that it was hotter than that. Actually the news said it was officially 105 degrees. And when you factor in the heat index of 110 degrees on Sunday, it was hot as hell. This heat which is here now will be here until at least November or December depending on what that psychotic Mother Nature bitch does this year.
It is not just the fact that it is hot here; we are also in the middle of a drought. It has not rained at my house since mid February. No I am not kidding here, I wish I was kidding.
It is so dry here that the grass/ground has a quarter inch crack between it and the side walk. It looks like it has been neatly trimmed up by a weed eater, but it hasn’t. In addition to those cracks, the ground has a nice one inch space between the foundation of my house and the ground. You see when it gets this dry and hot the ground around here shrinks.
As if the drought and foundation problem is not bad enough, the local government is thinking about banning the sale of fireworks for the Fourth of July due to the extreme drought we are in. You can’t have Fourth of July without shooting roman candles off at your friends while in a drunken stupor.
Now some of you are saying, “Hey trash, why you bitching about the weather?” Well plain and simple, it is fucking hot that is why. I know the “Southern” folk who read this blog understand what I am saying and how I feel. But you “Northern” folks don’t understand. I don’t like summertime, I like wintertime. And while I have sympathy for all of you “Northern” folk during the wintertime when you all are complaining about the cold, wind, and snow, you don’t know what I am going through.
Let me make it simple for you. When it is 20 degrees below zero outside, you can add all kinds of layers of clothing to keep warm. Down here during the summer I could walk down the street stark naked and it will still be boiling-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk fucking hot outside; regardless of what I am wearing or not.
I miss you winter. I mean it.
I hate the heat too! But luckily Chicago only has two seasons: winter and summer. And summer literally only lasts from mid-june to mid -August; then we're back to freezing again, which I prefer.
ReplyDeleteOver here in gloomy Kent, England, it's pissing down, couldn't take that heat my friend.
ReplyDeletewe get a few weeks like that here too each year with temps over 40 deg C (36=100F I think) and I agree that it is easier to get warm that cool.
ReplyDeleteHope that texas heat is at least dry and not nasty humid. Hope you get rain soon
Oh, man, it's been in the 90's for the last two weeks here in Georgia. Anything over 70 and I get cranky. It was still 93 at 11pm last night. I miss growing up in the North.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe you about the "walking down the street stark naked" thing. I want pictures.
ReplyDeleteHA! We "Northerners" are staring down the barrel of a 90 degree day (4th day in a row) with 90%+ humidity (at least in my neck of the woods) so quit yer whining y'all!
ReplyDeleteIf I could, I would happily send some of the rain we've been having. Sounds like you need it more than we do.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, even if I don't understand. As you know I live in Canada where it doesn't do that nasty heat thing. I mean it gets up to that temperature... once or twice a year, but that is it. I love the heat when we get it, but I don't think I could handle it for long periods of time.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you while I put a sweater on because it is only 50 degrees here.
Wow! It shrinks? That's crazy.
ReplyDeleteI totally get what you're saying OT, because Indian Summers are just as bad.
ReplyDeleteI live in Bangalore, which has relatively milder summers, but the summers in my hometown, Chennai, are horrid. Summer also happens to be wedding season, and I can't escape the zillion wedding and thread ceremony invitations because summer also means college is closed, and I have to go to Chennai and attend the stupid weddings. And since you most probably don't know this, almost all Hindu ceremonies involve sitting for a few hours in front of a big, sacred fire. Few hours near a big fire, in a stuffy little room during a burning hot summer is just about the worst kind of punishment ever. And the worst part is that I can't even whine about it. :x
Thank God it's raining out here in Bangalore! :\
I can understand OT...but I just can't take the cold anymore physically. I don't like hot and humid like here in the south but I'd take it over snow and cold and achy joints anyday.
ReplyDelete@ Chio, I am jealous.
ReplyDelete@ Lurker, I would love some rain right now.
@ Mynx, it is beyond humid here in Texas. At least where I am at.
@ Joshua, I know how you feel. I know Georgia is hot as well since I usually spend about one month a year in Atlanta.
@ Dawn, do you want the pictures before or after I go to jail?
@ Encore, up north the heat does not last for 6-8 months does it? I thought so.
@ Yandie, yes please send rain.
@ Hero, you are lucky. Very very lucky.
@ Copyboy, yes it does. They have nice little water hoses designed just to place around your foundation to water the ground.
@ Pencilgirl, I feel sorry for you. That would just piss me off.
@ Barb, yes you can understand as you live in the south.
You work in oil and gas right? Look for a job in Alberta. Free health care, milder summers. extremely cold winters, no crazy exes. I really don't see a downside. You can even crash on my couch for a while.
ReplyDeleteI hate the heat too, but I'd take desert heat (raised in NM) over Missouri heat. Here the humidity combined with the heat...there's no escape. Even finding shade is completely useless.
ReplyDeleteI think you said it best: Plain and simple it's fucking hot.
ReplyDeleteAnd we don't have central air. Some call our house quaint - I call it a fucking hot ass nightmare. There's only so much fans can do - blowing hot air around doesn't cool off a damned thing.
As a former Southernfolk who now lives in the North, let me say this, I LOVE winter. Mostly fall here though. I do understand how hot the summers get down there because I lived in Florida for most of my life and I have seen some ground shrinkage in my time. It was in the 90s here in Michigan over the weekend, and that is HOT. I hate summer. I feel for you. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDelete@ Hero, there are "Crazy Exes" everywhere. Trust me on this.
ReplyDelete@ Brandy, I agree with you on that.
@ Michael, yep. No central air just sucks. Some of my relatives up north don't have central air and it makes my spoiled-on-a/c ass just miserable when I visit. I feel for you.
@ Tawnya, 90 in Michigan? Wow the world is ending.
I don't envy you. I hate the heat! On the flip side, though, the rainy season just started here on June 1 & we've already had some minor flooding over the weekend.
ReplyDeleteI miss those days. I'm used to the summer in California, which lasts from March until October. Yesterday was the first day in Idaho where the temp was higher than 75.
ReplyDeleteIt was actually a nice day, but I'm ready for a real June.
My Own Private Idaho
I don't mind the heat if it's dry but the humidity is just murder.
ReplyDelete@ Vinny, flooding sucks. But I wish we could get some rain.
ReplyDelete@ Lost, at least you have bearable weather right now.
@ TS, I agree with you there.
At least you have a/c. I saw on the news a couple weeks ago the record high was 104 in 1934. In May. In Iowa. Now that's horrible.
ReplyDeleteIf the ground is shrinking it has to be pretty bad. We're almost as hot here on the East Coast, with the Swamps humidity of course, but we're not in the middle of a drought. With the Swampland though, I don't think our ground COULD dry out like that. That's just crazy.
ReplyDeleteOMG, 100% humidity? That is utterly miserable and scary.
ReplyDeleteHang tough.
xoRobyn
I think you pissed Mother Nature off with your post today. I just went outside for a cigarette and it's 110 on the back porch.
ReplyDeleteMy nicotine addiction melted.
And it's not even summer yet.
@ Ruth, yes that is true. Ac is a blessing.
ReplyDelete@ Sally, yes it is very bad right now.
@ Robyn, yes it is miserable. Beyond actually.
Being a military brat, I've lived everywhere. While the south is hot as hell, the north does see hot days, too. Just not as many. Like last week, it was 95 ish all week. Now today its a nice 80 or so. Over the weekend it was about 75. We have more of a variety. And less humidity.
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe how hot it was this weekend!!! Holy hell, literally. I am soaking it in, but going to definitely welcome some cooler weather in Finland. Ask me again, though, in January :)
ReplyDeleteIt's hot... but I love summers in Mississippi except one thing... horse flies. For some reason they always fly into my truck. I am terrified of them. Yes, I'm that lady standing on the side of the road screaming at the bug in the truck.
ReplyDeleteDude. I know exactly what you mean. I do not like the heat either. I live in Indiana, and it's hot and humid here as well. I'll take the snow and cold, and somebody else can have this heat.
ReplyDelete@ Mash, it does get hot up there that is true. But not nearly as hot or for as long.
ReplyDelete@ Texa, I know right.
@ Rosie, I can't stand those damn flies either.
@ Tony, I am glad someone else feels the way that I do.
i know how that is i'm in FL and today we got 5minutes of rain i was so excited but all it did was make it hotter
ReplyDeleteEveryday Life
I am not a fan of winter in the north but I am even less a fan of extreme heat. I am lucky enough to have pools at both my homes and at work because I would be miserable without them. I cannot imagine that kind of heat, it was hot here but nowhere near that hot. I will say that when I was in Vegas those people who claim, "it's a different kind of heat" can suck it. Sure it isn't humid but it is still fucking hot!
ReplyDeleteI feel for ya! Sit in front of the air unit/duct and have your children mist you with a spray bottle. Stay cool, my friend.
I had to grap my diary to check what that was in celius and having done that I can say I know how that feels although where I am in can get hotter during the summer months my thermometer which is out the back often will show the temp at around 50 degrees and it is in the shade......
ReplyDeleteSo I really know where you are coming from I hope you have air condioning...........
Cant even say dry as a popcorn fart cause the humidity won't allow for that....sigh...it is miserable. I'm in the humidity belt with you. So soupy you can't breathe.
ReplyDeleteI feel for ya, cause the heat and humidity together really suck eggs, but I'm dying for some freaking summer weather, I'm in California for crying out loud and it'd freaking cold. You're right about one thing: mother Nature's a bitch! Stay cool.
ReplyDelete@ Becca, I know that feeling all too well except this year.
ReplyDelete@ Jewels, you make me laugh. My kids wouldn't do that.
@ Jo-Anne, I have ac but it isn't worth a shit.
@ Daffy, yep you said it.
@ Alessandra, yep. I would not mind California right now.
"Psychotic Mother Nature bitch" - bahahaha! OMG It's too hot to do anything, seriously! Ugh! I feel your pain OT! The humidity is suffocating! I hadn't heard about 4th of July though! Let me guess, our fine mayor right? :)
ReplyDeleteLord help! It hasn't rained since Feb? Yikes! Next time I have a beer I'll pour some out for your dead grass or homies. Whichever you prefer.
ReplyDeleteComplain, man. That's what I say. I will say though, that's I've lived in Minnesota, and I've also lived in Phoenix. I much prefer Phoenix. And I know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say that Phoenix is a 'dry' heat. And I hear that, but the reason why I hear it is because, for about a month, in Minnesota, it's 100 degrees with some ungodly percent humidity. It doesn't sound possible, but I would bet it's like 200%. I'm not saying your situation doesn't suck, because it does. I'm just complaining too because I like to.
ReplyDeleteLet's trade. I'm in the middle of the big chill in Sydney with howling bitter winds and sub-zero temps overnight.
ReplyDeleteI would happily take some 100 in the shade Texas heat right now.
@ Yvonne, you of all people here now the best how I feel right now. And no it is not our lovely mayor, it is a state and county decision.
ReplyDelete@ Anna, thank you for your offer to help the grass and my homies.
@ Paul, nothing wrong with complaining.
@ Cajun, I would gladly trade with you.
Texas (well, Southern in general) summers are extremely difficult...actually, they're downright dangerous.
ReplyDeleteNortherners don't understand the heat and hurricanes of the South, while Southerners don't understand the severe winter weather in the North. Unless someone has lived in both climates, it's just one of those things people have a tough time relating to.
Complain all ya want, OT. :)
@ Virgin, I have lived in both and the summers are worse by far.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is the reason why I live in the land of no "real" weather. I live close to the mountains and to the desert. If I want extreme hot of cold, I can get to it...
ReplyDelete@ Pat, right now the mountains sound really good to me.
ReplyDeleteI got a taste of how hot you have it while I was in Misery...I mean Missouri.
ReplyDeletehttp://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/