In case you were not aware of it, summer time has arrived here in Texas. In the last two weeks it has been above 95 degrees every day with 100% humidity. And the night time low has not gone below 75 degrees.
On Saturday the thermometer on my front porch reached 100 degrees. On Sunday the thermometer reached 101 degrees. Now keep in mind that my thermometer is in the shade on my porch, so I am sure that it was hotter than that. Actually the news said it was officially 105 degrees. And when you factor in the heat index of 110 degrees on Sunday, it was hot as hell. This heat which is here now will be here until at least November or December depending on what that psychotic Mother Nature bitch does this year.
It is not just the fact that it is hot here; we are also in the middle of a drought. It has not rained at my house since mid February. No I am not kidding here, I wish I was kidding.
It is so dry here that the grass/ground has a quarter inch crack between it and the side walk. It looks like it has been neatly trimmed up by a weed eater, but it hasn’t. In addition to those cracks, the ground has a nice one inch space between the foundation of my house and the ground. You see when it gets this dry and hot the ground around here shrinks.
As if the drought and foundation problem is not bad enough, the local government is thinking about banning the sale of fireworks for the Fourth of July due to the extreme drought we are in. You can’t have Fourth of July without shooting roman candles off at your friends while in a drunken stupor.
Now some of you are saying, “Hey trash, why you bitching about the weather?” Well plain and simple, it is fucking hot that is why. I know the “Southern” folk who read this blog understand what I am saying and how I feel. But you “Northern” folks don’t understand. I don’t like summertime, I like wintertime. And while I have sympathy for all of you “Northern” folk during the wintertime when you all are complaining about the cold, wind, and snow, you don’t know what I am going through.
Let me make it simple for you. When it is 20 degrees below zero outside, you can add all kinds of layers of clothing to keep warm. Down here during the summer I could walk down the street stark naked and it will still be boiling-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk fucking hot outside; regardless of what I am wearing or not.
I miss you winter. I mean it.