A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

It Smelt Like Butter

Last Friday night I took my daughter out for a fancy dinner. We went to Popeye’s as we were craving some fried chicken. I got a bucket of chicken with some red beans and rice for us to share. I also got some garlic buttered popcorn shrimp as a nice little warm up to the dirty bird.

We brought all of the food back home so we could eat and watch a movie together. Later that night we were craving some ice cream so we made a mad dash for the grocery store. As we got in the car, my car had this delicious smell of butter. My daughter made a comment about how great it still smelled in my car from the shrimp I had got for dinner.

The next day on Saturday the kids and I all got in the car to go to the University of Houston spring football game. We again were greeted with the delicious smell of the buttery shrimp. The same exact thing happened on the way home from the game.

On Sunday we had to run some errands during the day and we again noticed the still present smell of my shrimp from Friday night. Although that day it was not as strong. My son had said maybe we should get some more of the shrimp since it had smelled so good and the scent lasted for days.

Monday morning rolls around and the smell is still there from dinner on Friday night. Although we are too tired as I am taking the kids to school to even notice much less say anything about the buttery smell.

On Tuesday morning the car still smelled like the shrimp, although the smell had transformed into more of a movie theater butter smell. No big deal, I love me some movie theater popcorn drenched in artery clogging goodness.

So this morning we get into the car and the butter smells are all gone. Now my car smells like a pair of my son’s summer time sneakers. You know the sneakers I am talking about, the ones he runs around in with no socks on his feet from May until September. We all make nasty comments about how it stinks. I am starting to think that maybe my car is possessed and no longer likes me.

We drive from home to their school with the air conditioner on full blast and the windows down to get the stench out. I dropped the kids off at school and drove the hour to work.

When I got to work I pulled up the car and proceeded to get my back pack (with laptop) out of my trunk. Upon opening my trunk I was hit with the smell of the foot odor (I was too tired to notice it when I put my backpack in the trunk earlier in the morning). I got my back pack out of my trunk and then noticed a plastic bag in the trunk. I picked it up and discovered the source of the problem. It was a tupperware full of food I had brought to work at least a week (or maybe two) earlier and forgot to get out of my car (have I mentioned before that I am not a morning person).

Almost as soon as I picked up the bag, I puked all over the concrete just behind my car. Yes my trashy friends, in addition to not being able to handle needles, I can’t stomach to smell rotten shit.

No I don’t actually remember what was in the tupperware to be honest with you. I think it was cheeseburger hamburger helper with green beans. Hell who knows what it was. All I know is that after a few days of being in my hot trunk (remember how I have said spring was here and it is now hot outside) it started to smell like buttery shrimp.

Who the fuck leaves food in the trunk of their car?

Apparently I leave food in the trunk.

Yours truly will be stopping at the store on the way home to buy and spray at least 4 bottles of Lysol in my car and in my trunk. Hopefully my neighbors won’t call the cops on me thinking I am cleaning up the remains of a dead body out of my car.

Remember how I told you about the 10 percent theory, it totally applies here.

48 comments:

  1. The 10% theory sounds good to me.
    Went to Taco Johns one time, Kiddo ordered nachos and they were out of nacho cheese sauce- how does that happen.
    Maybe you should put your lunch in the front of the car with you from now on.

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  2. Oh that is soo vile when that happens.
    Long time ago, someone left some prawn shells in the work fridge over the weekend
    somehow the power went off and the juice of the shells seeped down under the fridge
    we were greeted monday morning by the most disgusting foul smell ever. Dont remeber actually vomiting, but i came close

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  3. One of the guys at work put a dead fish (mackerel) in anothers guys car engine and it did cause a stink and a near dismissal plus a hefty bill but that was deliberate unlike yours which is forgetfulness.

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  4. It's so difficult getting smells out of vehicles. My family used to have a van that one or more siblings had puked in (and one of us,*cough*my brother*, pooped in there once too). How my grandparents cleaned it, I don't know, but it still developed a stale smell, like how an attic smells.

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  5. My girlfriend does this.

    ALL THE TIME.

    And you kind of lost me there for a second with "Fancy dinner" and "Popeyes" being in the same paragraph. =P

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  6. I thought tupperware was supposed to be air tight???


    but thanks for making me smile!
    Leontien

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  7. I think cars should always smell like hot french fries or movie popcorn. It would making driving more pleasurable - except for the weight gain from the constant food urges.

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  8. Ewww and ewwww! I too have a low tolerance for rotten stuff. I would have been yacking right there with ya. Lysol indeed.

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  9. @ Ruth, I can agree with that, who runs out of taco cheese. And the reason that it was in the trunk in the first place was because I also take another kid to school along with my two kids so there is no room for my back pack and food up front.

    @ Mynx, that sucks. Rotten seafood smell is the worst.

    @ Lurker, you just gave me a great idea.

    @ Chio, wow that would make a car stink that is for sure.

    @ Lost, glad I am not alone in that. And yea the fancy comment was a little bit of sarcasm.

    @ Leontien, it some how over the course of a week or two had bounced around enough to where the lid came off.

    @ Laughingmom, oh that would be awesome.

    @ Random, I am glad I am not the only yacker in the bunch.

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  10. I had taken a girl out for dinner and a movie one evening in November, she put her doggy bag in the trunk of my car. In April I started noticing a stench in my car, the warmer weather let the fajitas and rice begin their attack on my olfactory senses.

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  11. I have thrown away many a sippy cup that had milk in it left in the truck during the summer. I made the mistake one time to try and save the cup and ended up making myself sick. I have two kids, I can take the smell of a poopy diaper or vomit, but rotten food... forget it.

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  12. Dryer sheets under the seats. Works every time!

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  13. I wonder if your car would smell eternally delicious if you just bought more Popeye's shrimp and left them in the trunk.

    Get back to us on this.

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  14. these are the times when i'm glad my sense of smell doesn't work. like EEEWWWWW

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  15. I think I'm more concerned with the fact that a rotting cheeseburger helper smells like buttered shrimp. The two aren't remotely related. *boggle*

    And, by the way, lucky for you that rotting food smells nothing like rotting cadavers. Don't ask how I know...or maybe you do know considering what I do for a living. You're safe from getting the cops called on you. ;)

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  16. i've found from cleaning up disgusting car stinks that all the lysol in the world won't make enough of a difference. and from now on, when you smell lysol, your nose will also smell the funky food odor. damn that nasal programming.

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  17. Awww man, sorry you yakked up your breakfast.

    I do that all the time, but just because I am nauseos.

    I so feel you on the 10% theory. Has this officially turned you off of buttered shrimp now, as well??

    And you are welcome for the award. I relate to your 10% theory more than you know!

    Seriously?... Reeeally??... Seriously?

    _

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  18. @ George, that would suck.

    @ Miss Rosie, I agree with you there.

    @ Stephanie, I will have to try that out.

    @ Jeff, I could try that out.

    @ Becca, I wish my sense of smell didn't work.

    @ Sam, well the food had been rotting for a while so yea. And I know you work in forensics.

    @ Sherilin, naw lysol won't really ever bother me like that.

    @ Stephanie, yea it did suck. No I still want buttery shrimp.

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  19. That smells like the time, about a month ago, when my daughter left half a Taco Bell burrito in my (pride and joy) VW Beetle door's side pocket. Did I mention I had just detailed the car? Did I mention she complained the loudest about the stink before we figured it out? Did I mention that car is my pride and joy? Sorry about your puke. Blah.

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  20. the only thing i leave in the trunk are bodies - actually, i've got a lot of stuff back there - sneakers, shirts, socks, gumball machine

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  21. Maybe the neighbors will think it was food for the kidnap victim they probably expect you were keeping in the trunk & they both expired and you got rid of the body but forgot the food and I think I had waaaay too much sugar in my coffee thin morning.

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  22. @ Dawn, oh that would have mad me mad.

    @ Ryan, gumball machine huh?

    @ Vinny, that is a possibility.

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  23. I'm surprise you didn't create a new life form. haha. BTW...I live right near a movie theater so I know from that popcorn butter smell.

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  24. That is nasty. Hey, at least you had a few good buttery days.

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  25. I had a kid spill milk in my back seat and decide not to tell me. It smelled like rotten milk for a couple wks before I figured it out.

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  26. You never opened the trunk for a week? You should probably get your car disinfected too.

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  27. My son spilled chef boyardee in the floor of my van 2 days ago... it didn't get cleaned up right away and lord only knows if I'll even be able to get it all out of the carpet.

    Not impressed.

    No more eating out of a thermos in the car.

    :(

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  28. @ It might have. I will have to check the dumpster behind my office to be sure.

    @ TS, that is true.

    @ Brandy, oh that sucks.

    @ Acetylcholine, no I didn't. I didn't have a reason to open it.

    @ Joy, ouch that sucks.

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  29. Who leaves that shit in the trunk of the car?!

    My husband!!

    At least once week I go on a tear looking for some tupperware and once a week he "finds" it in his car.

    He FINDS it.

    Yeah.

    Feel free to picture me gagging as I test how fast I can open it and shove it into the hot, soapy dishwater.

    Pearl

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  30. Ewwww!!!! If you were closer, I'd run over with a gallon of Pepto Bismol for you!

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  31. Hahahahahaha! Aww. The image of you holding a bag of rotten food and puking in your driveway just makes me giggle. I have done this before with chicken. I couldn't tell if I was smelling farts or chicken.

    My boyfriend is terrible about this, he'll leave containers in the back of his car or on the sink and they'll get fucking MOLDY. It's disgusting.

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  32. Did your discovery happen to curb all of your future desire for Popeye's buttery shrimp?

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  33. @ Pearl, well at least I am not the only man who does this. Maybe it means us men folk should not be responsible for tupperware since we are lousy at it. lol

    @ Kelley, I know.

    @ Cake, the only way this could have been funnier is if it would have been video taped.

    @ Empress, no actually it did not curb my desire for Popeye's shrimp.

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  34. I had that happen once when I went grocery shopping with the wife (at the time girlfriend) and best friend (we were sharing an apartment)

    Unbeknownst to everyone, a piece of steak fell out of the shopping bag and rolled under the seat.

    There it stayed for abot two weekes being slowly cooked by the car heater in the dead of winter.

    Lovely shade of green it was by the time we found it.

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  35. I am gagging in the worst possible way. So nasty! I can't stand anything rotten...a container of leftovers that gets forgotten in the fridge...ick. If I don't know what it is right away, as in "Oh yeah I put the rice in that container" it gets thrown away without being opened. I can't stand to see/smell stuff that has gone bad. I feel for ya!

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  36. I bet you won't be eating Hamburger Helper anytime soon. Gross!!

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  37. @ Lemmi, thank you.

    @ G, that is nasty.

    @ Jewels, I so agree with you.

    @ Barb, you are correct.

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  38. yuckk....i think its all been said here :)

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  39. I suggest you find a car spray with the scent of garlic buttered popcorn shrimp. (I bet they sell it on eBay.) You need to restore that smell.
    xoRobyn

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  40. Funny story. One time my co workers and I got back at our boss by pouring a little chocolate milk down the defroster in his truck. You can only imagine!!

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  41. They need butter-scented deodorizer!!!

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  42. @ Mack, yep.

    @ Robyn, I know right.

    @ Bushman, thank you.

    @ S, they sure do.

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  43. Heeheehee, puked right behind the car. If I'd been walking by, you might have set off a chain reaction.
    Nil-Odor. Seriously Dude, try it.

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  44. 1. You had me at Popeyes.

    2. Was actually smelling chicken, biscuits, etc.

    3. Yummy, buttery not-good-for-you popcorn made my mouth water.

    4. Then, we went to smelly feet. My stomach started a slow, churning flip. Queasy tummy on the horizon.

    5. Rotten food + Vision of puke = one gagging virgin.

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  45. I got such chuckle out of this story. I think the car makers are missing a bet here. They need to team up with popeyes to offer new cars with that buttery popcorn shrimp smell, but without the surprise package in the trunk.

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  46. @ Venom, I am shocked that other people didn't puke as well.

    @ Virgin, I had to lure the people in to read it so that is why it was written that way. And because it was true.

    @ Cajun, I should lobby auto makers for that.

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  47. Once I had a bag of soy bean pods in a ziploc bag for a few days...Just don't do it...It's so not worth it and the reason why I clean out my bag every time I leave food in it.

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