It Smelt Like Butter

Last Friday night I took my daughter out for a fancy dinner. We went to Popeye’s as we were craving some fried chicken. I got a bucket of chicken with some red beans and rice for us to share. I also got some garlic buttered popcorn shrimp as a nice little warm up to the dirty bird.

We brought all of the food back home so we could eat and watch a movie together. Later that night we were craving some ice cream so we made a mad dash for the grocery store. As we got in the car, my car had this delicious smell of butter. My daughter made a comment about how great it still smelled in my car from the shrimp I had got for dinner.

The next day on Saturday the kids and I all got in the car to go to the University of Houston spring football game. We again were greeted with the delicious smell of the buttery shrimp. The same exact thing happened on the way home from the game.

On Sunday we had to run some errands during the day and we again noticed the still present smell of my shrimp from Friday night. Although that day it was not as strong. My son had said maybe we should get some more of the shrimp since it had smelled so good and the scent lasted for days.

Monday morning rolls around and the smell is still there from dinner on Friday night. Although we are too tired as I am taking the kids to school to even notice much less say anything about the buttery smell.

On Tuesday morning the car still smelled like the shrimp, although the smell had transformed into more of a movie theater butter smell. No big deal, I love me some movie theater popcorn drenched in artery clogging goodness.

So this morning we get into the car and the butter smells are all gone. Now my car smells like a pair of my son’s summer time sneakers. You know the sneakers I am talking about, the ones he runs around in with no socks on his feet from May until September. We all make nasty comments about how it stinks. I am starting to think that maybe my car is possessed and no longer likes me.

We drive from home to their school with the air conditioner on full blast and the windows down to get the stench out. I dropped the kids off at school and drove the hour to work.

When I got to work I pulled up the car and proceeded to get my back pack (with laptop) out of my trunk. Upon opening my trunk I was hit with the smell of the foot odor (I was too tired to notice it when I put my backpack in the trunk earlier in the morning). I got my back pack out of my trunk and then noticed a plastic bag in the trunk. I picked it up and discovered the source of the problem. It was a tupperware full of food I had brought to work at least a week (or maybe two) earlier and forgot to get out of my car (have I mentioned before that I am not a morning person).

Almost as soon as I picked up the bag, I puked all over the concrete just behind my car. Yes my trashy friends, in addition to not being able to handle needles, I can’t stomach to smell rotten shit.

No I don’t actually remember what was in the tupperware to be honest with you. I think it was cheeseburger hamburger helper with green beans. Hell who knows what it was. All I know is that after a few days of being in my hot trunk (remember how I have said spring was here and it is now hot outside) it started to smell like buttery shrimp.

Who the fuck leaves food in the trunk of their car?

Apparently I leave food in the trunk.

Yours truly will be stopping at the store on the way home to buy and spray at least 4 bottles of Lysol in my car and in my trunk. Hopefully my neighbors won’t call the cops on me thinking I am cleaning up the remains of a dead body out of my car.

Remember how I told you about the 10 percent theory, it totally applies here.