While I was watching the latest marathon a couple of nights ago, a commercial caught my ears. It was a commercial where a bunch of women were sitting around and talking. Out of nowhere one of the women says, “Nothing is hotter than a single dad who spends time with his kids,” and all of the other women agreed with her. My mouth just dropped. I did not hear the rest of the commercial to even see what the commercial was about or the context of that statement as I was so stunned by this comment.
“Nothing is hotter than a single dad who spends time with his kids.” Let that set in for a minute with you. Got it? Good.
Women NEVER look at me. Yes I said it; women never even look at me or in my direction. No I am not being cynical either; I am saying the honest truth here. I am never looked at by women. It is not like I am unattractive, because I am decent looking. Yet I never get even so much as a glance or a smile from women.
I am the dad who coaches my kids youth sports teams. I am the dad who takes my kids everywhere and does everything with them. I am the dad who hangs up my kid’s artwork in my office at work (see the picture below). I am the dad who takes his kids to Destin, Florida for Spring Break. I am the dad who works his ass off at a job where I am not appreciated and yet still stays there to support his kids. I am the dad who sacrifices his personal life (friends, dating, etc) for his kids. I am the dad who takes everything my kids give me (toys, stuffed animals, Steelers stuff) and put it on my desk at work (also see the picture below). I am the dad who has a zoo in his house because his kids are animal lovers. I am the dad who sacrifices buying a nice huge two story house and a new car so that I can put my kids in private school to have a better education than what I had as a kid. I am the dad who does everything with my kids and everything for them. Hell even back when I was married and they were newborns, I was the dad who took them to all of their doctor’s appointments, not their mother.
If single dads who spend time with their children are so damn hot, I should be on the cover of every fucking magazine sold on the planet. I should be better known than the President of the United States is. TMZ should be following my ass around 24 hours a day instead of Charlie Sheen.
Yet women do not even look at me. No women.
Now I know that I am an awesome person because I am a good dad, I have a great sense of humor, I am a great story teller, I am smart, and I am one of the kindest people you will ever meet. I also know that all of my appeal is on the inside. I am like a time release capsule pill; I take a while to work on you. But would it be too much to ask that at least one or two women look at me occasionally? Or even say hello or something to me.
What that damn commercial should have said was, “Nothing is hotter than a single dad who spends time with his kids who also makes 200K plus a year, drives a BMW, lives in a 5000 square foot house, has rock hard abs, and has a 9 inch penis which is as big around as a tree trunk.”