A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Monday, December 6, 2010

My Take On The TSA

Last week I told you about my humorous story of how you can talk to your kids about getting fondled by the TSA. Well here are my serious thoughts about the TSA and some of the hypocrisy involved with them and our government.

Now unless you have been living under a rock for the last month you have heard about the wonderful new screening procedures at the US airports. It basically goes like this; you can get scanned by their new “high tech” body scanner or you can opt out of going through the scanner and get the full body pat down. Or you can go through the scanner and if they find something you will get the full body pat down. Now I am going to break this down with some common sense.



The scanners emit radiation much like an x-ray machine and the government says that they are safe. Can you believe the government? Of course you can’t believe them and everyone knows this. How many times has the government said that something was safe, and then later it does a double take and says that it is not safe? I can name a few for you. Remember the artificial sweeteners from the 80’s that they said were safe, and then latter said caused cancer? How about DDT and Agent Orange? What about all of the medications that they said were safe and later recalled? What about the tooth paste made in China, or the toys from China? See my point.

Everyone has to go through these procedures. The pilots have to go through this procedure multiple times a day. Why make the pilots go through this procedure looking for a gun or some other weapon? Did you forget that they are pilots and could at will crash any plane into anything that they wanted at any given time? Seems like a waste of their time to screen them as if they are intent on killing people with an airplane, the screener won’t catch that.


The government has said that all the TSA employees are good people. Yet in the past we have heard of TSA agents who were convicted sex offenders having the job of screeners. Yes that is correct. If the government can’t even know who the fuck is working for them and screen them, do you really have any faith in anything that they do which is security related (like the no fly list for example) like screening.

The government has also said that the images from the body scanners are not kept and are destroyed. Well then how come all of these damn images are showing up all over the internet? Yep someone is getting access to them or the TSA agents themselves are not all “good” people as you have told us they are. In either case, the images are not secure.


As I said you can opt out of going through the scanner and having a full body pat down to check you for weapons. So some guy can shove a homemade C4 bomb up his ass and by opting out of the scanner he would only get the pat down which does not check the rectum. So in theory you could smuggle a bomb onto a plane this way. Seems like a dumb ass thing to do to allow people to opt out of the scanner.


The TSA scans the passengers, the airports randomly screens the checked baggage, yet the cargo (mail and packages) does not get scanned. This was one of the major points in the 9/11 commission report. So if you wanted to blow up an airplane all you have to do is mail a bomb and time it to explode while the plane is in the air. Why scan the passengers and their baggage if you don’t scan the mail and cargo? Do you not remember hearing about the FedEx and UPS planes recently having bombs on board? Are the meal carts scanned because you sure as fuck could smuggle a weapon on plane that way couldn’t you. There are so many ways to get something on a plane it is not even funny.


I think that the TSA and the government should use profiling in doing the screenings to some extent. Now all of you are saying “Well Mr. Trash racial profiling and profiling is illegal and we can’t do it,” and I say bullshit. Police forces use profiling all the damn time. Every time a woman is murdered who is it that the police look at first? It is the husband, boyfriend, ex-husband, and ex-boyfriend that get looked at first. That is profiling and the police use it. Anytime there is a serial killer or some mail bomber who is it that they are looking for? It is a white male, early to late 30’s, lives alone or with their mom, is educated, and has problems being social with people. Yes that is profiling and the police use it. So use some common sense here in the airports and use profiling. It is Muslim men who are the ones trying to do the bad things on and to airplanes and their passengers. Look at the picture of the 9/11 hijackers, do you see a 3 year old black boy? Do you see a 65 year old white grandmother? No you don’t. Use some common sense in doing the screenings and look for the people who are actually doing the shit that you are trying to prevent.

Contact the Israelis and ask them what they are doing right with their airline El Al. They have not had a hijacking since the mid to late 1970’s. So I would find out what they are doing to prevent chicken shit terrorists from getting on their planes. Now I know that they have a fraction of the airports and daily flights that the US does, but still you could learn something from them. Most of the world hates them and wants to see their destruction so they are always on their toes security wise and have a system in place to prevent any problems with their airline.


I just think common sense should be used in stuff like this. Well really in damn near fucking anything in world should be done with common sense. Let me tell you a little story which can illustrate this better. Back in 2002 I was flying home from Brazil for Christmas on Christmas Eve. I was flying home first class (I used my frequent flyer miles to do so) and as the first to board the plane, I noticed who was around me. There was me, two white guys from the same town I was working in, an old white grandmother, and a middle aged Muslim man dressed in the garb. Guess what 4 people got the random search in the Rio airport, that’s right, the 4 non-Muslims going home to celebrate a Christian holiday. Now who of the people in first class would you suspect of causing trouble with terrorism? I did find it funny that when I was joking about that fact with the other people in first class, that the Captain of the flight had come out of the cockpit wearing a camouflage hunting jacket and a “I Love To Hunt” camouflage hat on. I knew we were getting home safely after seeing that the captain was a redneck hunter.

I also find it funny that the ACLU completely fucking silent when it comes to this issue of the scanners and the pat downs. The only time it is legal in this country to be searched like this is when you are being arrested. So why is it that the ACLU is silent? Oh yea that is right, the ACLU does not mind rights violations as long as it is a Democrat that has put the practice into law. Do you remember how vocal the ACLU was when Bush got the Patriot Act passed? Can you imagine how vocal the ACLU would be if it was Bush who had the TSA doing pat downs on people like they are now?


Do you remember the shoe bomber who attempted to ignite a bomb which was concealed in his shoe? The only thing which stopped him was the passengers on the plane who got up and stopped him when he was observed trying to ignite the bomb. Do you remember the Christmas Day bomber from last year who tried to ignite a bomb on a plane which was concealed in his underwear? He was also stopped by passengers around him who were not going to be blown up with some damn terrorist. And then Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano said that the system worked. Bullshit you ignorant woman, the system did not work. The system would have worked if this asshole was caught before he boarded the airplane. If the “system” is the passengers stopping terrorists, we are truly fucked.

I guess what I am trying to say is that common sense should be used in trying to stop terrorists from doing what they want to do. At the end of the day though if you don’t want to be felt up, then don’t fly. And also you can’t really stop someone from doing bad if their mind is dead set on doing evil. But since common sense is never used by our government, don’t be shocked to see Congressman Barney Frank feeling up the men, Ellen Degeneres feeling up the women, and someone like Michael Jackson feeling up your kids.

52 comments:

  1. I'm disgusted by the level of hypocrisy in modern politics. Democrats are liberal until they're elected, Republicans promise to cut spending until they're elected... Both parties suck.

    [also I love comments too :)]

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  2. love it. I'm with you, if it's a deal to you, don't fly. Kinda like profanity in music or violence / sex on TV... we are all in control of what we subject ourselves too.

    People will always find something to complain about in this world. It must be miserable going through life hating everything.

    SD
    simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com

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  3. I am glad I don't fly...can't just get trashed and stumble onto a plan anymore

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  4. @ The Champ, I agree.

    @ Simpledude, I agree with you. I did not think of that aspect of it. I was merely just pointing out the hypocrisy of the screenings.

    @ Bird shit, the only way I fly is by getting drunk and stumbling onto the plane.

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  5. I think the new security system in the US is ridiculous, and I think hypocrisy really is the basis of all politics, but if you leave things to common sense well then you leave it to subjective decision done by individuals. It's either everyone gets searched or none. I don't think profiling is a good idea either, because anyone is capable of a crime, white, black, asian, muslim, christian or jew.

    I fly a lot, minimum of four trips a year, direct and connecting flights, and honestly, in all the airports I've been, not one has the type of security that the US has. I think they're being a bit extreme.

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  6. @ Uninspired, I think common sense would work better than the current system. As I pointed out there is some gaping holes in the screening process here in the US.

    And I agree about airports outside of the US having their stuff better than the US.

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  7. heyo im so glad im flying scares the shit out of me too!

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  8. wealthy people are in power. i guess we cant trust someone that can't pay the goddam electric bill on time working for minwage to run our country...

    the hypocrisy is rampant. as most people know i lean a little left, and not cuz i have a shorter left leg, but whatever...

    i totally hate the govermonster...

    rightfish leftfish
    redfish bluefish...

    they all fuckin suck

    and great post BTW...i like how you got the softcore porn (unclothed nipples) in the interest
    of proving a point...

    bruce

    stupid stuff i see and hear
    and
    bruce johnson jadip

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  9. @ Bruce, you are very correct in the red fish vs blue fish shit.

    And I am glad you liked the video from the Movie Airplane. I love that damn movie. I am shocked that they got the future correct over 30 years ago when they made that movie.

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  10. I've had a peek into the airtraffic control side of things....I wouldn't fly unless I absolutely HAD to based on that. The new TSA stuff doesn't even factor into my decision to not board a plane.

    I'll take my chances in a car...I like road trips anyway. Who needs the milehigh club?!

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  11. @ Daffy, I used to have a friend who was an ATC for Houston and I know exactly what you mean.

    And I love road trips as well. And if no mile high club, do you do pit stops on road trips? lol

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  12. BTW- fly out of Hobby. No scanners there. They be too po'. Or don't give a shit, whatever.

    I think if you have a problem with it, don't fuckin' fly. If you are all worried that someone may see your junk in a damn scanner, get over yourself. Nobody gives a shit about your prosthetic penis or your overly large labia or your boobs. They can see better lookin' shit on the internet for free in full color. And really, honestly, NOBODY is as fine as they think they are.

    Road trips are where it's at anyway. WAY cheaper and more fun.

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  13. @ Everyone, I think all of you are missing some of my points here that are very legitimate.

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  14. LMAO. My finger is still scarred dude.

    I'll also be mailing a package soon. When do you fly again? *evil grin*

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  15. @ Miley, let that be a lesson to you to not talk back to the driver.

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  16. I would have made you a fucking sandwich if you'd ASKED like a polite person, sheesh! (to onlookers, no that is NOT what happened. OT was very polite in his demands for a damn sammich and I was happy to oblige)

    I still laugh thinking about that shit. Roll me up. Hell, my KIDS still laugh about it!
    I even showed Peachy pictures of it the other day.

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  17. @ Miley, I did ask for a damn sammich, you were just too damn slow in making it.

    And yes it was and still is funny.

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  18. I think everyone has just now figured out why you aren't getting that many BJs these days. j/k

    Too slow in making it my ass. After you tried to sever my fingers I was even MORE slow. How'd THAT one work out for ya? LMAO

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  19. @ Miley, it must have worked out pretty good because I still went to the game and got a damn sammich.

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  20. I for one would rather get the scan and pat down and know everyone else did so i can fly on the plane without watching everyones underwear and shoes and being prepared to stab them with my car keys. Even the flight crew has to do it just to do their job. It could be the military upbringing of sacrifice for safety and freedom isn't free mentality but this is a small price to pay for the LUXURY of flying, it's not a right, it's a privilege if you don't like it, drive, bike or take and inner tube. On the flip side I think TSA should only hire chippendales and hooters girls, they will work for tips and no one will complain.

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  21. @ Peachy, I love your comment. And I agree with the hooters girls doing the pat downs. I would go through the line over and over again.

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  22. I wish I could "like" a comment. Peachy is my hero.

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  23. I think the next time I have to fly I will wear only a trench coat and a banana hammock through the security check point. And then change in the bathroom once I am through the checkpoint into my normal clothes.

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  24. And also tell the TSA agents, why yes what is in my hammock is a weapon of mass destruction.

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  25. also FYI. last year in Feb I flew NOLA to ATL. I was dressed as a typical soccer mom, the 2 Hispanic people in front of me dressed as Elvis and the 4 Muslim dressed people before them were not stopped, I was, clearly soccer moms fit the profile. that's the issue, we are dealing with people who think it's the highest honor to kill themselves taking us out. THEY WILL USE THEIR CHILDREN. When middle class spoiled Americans understand the death of war and lengths terrorist will go to, maybe they will shut their holes and drop tro.. I will. touch me everywhere, but you better damn sure feel up everyone else too. I don't care if you have flashbacks to some horrible incident in your child hood due to the search. SUCK IT UP ! Or don't fly. It's tragic but not nearly as tragic as the hundreds of people dying due to a jerkward hell bent on killing all of us to be a hero. Screw it, I will stab a stranger in the throat if with a car key if I even remotely think they are suspicious. Then ask questions.

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  26. @ Peachy, how do you really feel? LOL

    And I am just wanting to be felt up. Maybe next time instead of hitting up a strip club I will just go to the airport and get felt up. I wonder if it is ok to leave a tip?

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  27. yep, I would bring a lot of singles. sorry but this spot kicks me in the gut. I understand that it would be troubling to allow someone to do a more intense pat down on my 14 year old daughter or 10 year old son, but I would be right there with them and explain it's similar to a doctor touching you because we want to be safe on the plane. I also understand that 35 % of all americans over the age of 25 have some traumatic sexual experience in their past. This is not an excuse to be a criminal OR opt out of safety procedures. No ONE is forced to fly, unless it's their job in which case change jobs or pick your battles. I have spoken with a lot of pilots and flight staff in regards to this, they do it to do their job, EVERYTIME, so we surely can. I try to avoid politics and religion because I tend to get all huffy and soap boxy, but dude you started it LOL. sorry to hog your blog.

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  28. @ Peachy, I agree I will bring single dollar bills next time I fly.

    And I was not trying to start a religious war, I was just pointing out some of the hypocrisy that I see in the program.

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  29. absolutely.. and again sorry for hogging your blog but this topic ( along with several others) chap my ass. because the same people "majority" of people bitching and moaning would be the same ones organizing sit ins and rallies when our planes start dropping out of the sky.

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  30. @ Peachy, maybe I should do a follow up blog with what I think would be the best way to move forward with the screenings since I brought up the flaws today.

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  31. yeah, absolutely !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  32. let me know if you need help LOL

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  33. growing up military working in law enforcement studying psychology and then marrying military I am probably not in the "norm" I fully support profiling, it's there for a reason, that would be like saying, " 90% of drains are clogged by red jelly beans" however we don't want to insult red jelly beans so we will look for purple skittles. NO that's wrong.

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  34. @ Peachy,

    Ok I will put the future blog post on the list of ones I need to write. And you are very correct with the profiling issue.

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  35. OT, I think maybe you, me and Peachy should write this follow up blog together... since clearly we have issues lol

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  36. Shit...why did I have to read this three days before my flight from Australia->America? I could give a damn about being felt up, I'm more concerned about making it there in one piece...

    This was a good post. I'm glad you tell it how it is!

    hed www.hedabovewater.com

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  37. If someone is intent on taking a plane down .. they will find a way to get the shit on the plane.. like you said. They could just bum tuck the stuff and opt out of scanning therefore getting a pat down.
    My question ... what about cruise ships? Yes you cant take out a building with a cruise ship.. but seems like a leisurely way to transport .. it could go on and on... Agreeing with your post OFT.

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  38. @ Miley, that may be an option.

    @ Hed, I am sorry, I didn't time my post with your trip. If you would have let me know in advance I could have put it off. Thanks for stopping by. And I always tell it like it is.

    @ Holly, That is true. And the only thing to hijack on a cruise ship is the booze. But seriously cruise ships can be and are taken over near Somalia all the time.

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  39. This is smart. Maybe you should be hired somewhere along the chain to teach the common sense aspect of this. And your point about the Israelis having a good system is brought up regularly on the View by Joy Behar. Just thought you'd like to know you both have a great mind :)

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  40. @ Sandra, thanks for the compliment. I would teach common sense, but there is not much of a demand for it these days sadly.

    And please don't mention me and Joy Behar in the same sentence. I can't stand that woman as she has her head up her ass most of the time.

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  41. This is a VERY well reasoned argument. It's infuriating that the folks in charge are such idiots and don't even look for someone else with common sense before making rash decisions that infringe on our civil liberties. I didn't realize the ACLU has been silent. Good point. All your points are good.
    xoRobyn

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  42. @ Robyn, thank you. And yes the ACLU has been very silent on this issue. Like *crickets* silent. I think they are a bullshit organization to scream about rights violations if they are only complaining about rights violations that are done by Republicans and not by Democrats as well. Which is precisely what they have done here with the TSA issue.

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  43. Hey, the TSA should look into your rectum pat down theory.

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  44. @ Copyboy, yes they could. It could double as a prostate exam.

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  45. Ya they should definately have anal probing at the entrance to Walmart :(

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  46. @ Major, according to yesterdays Homeland Security announcement, we are now supposed to be looking for Terrorists at Walmart. I feel safer already since there are so many terrorists at Walmart in the first place.

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  47. I am very disappointed in these new TSA measures. For me, I do not have the option not to fly if I want to see my family.

    Sadly, it think we will see pigs flying in the skies before we see any common sense out of the government.

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  48. @ Cajun, that is very true. I don't think you would get home in time for the holidays if you were to take an inflatable raft home.

    And I agree with you completely about the pigs.

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