A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Thoughts Of A Jackass

Sometimes when I am laying in bed at night, or driving to and from work, sitting bored out of my mind at work I think about things and sometimes I keep them in my head, sometimes I post them on Facebook, and sometimes I forget them. But here is the first in a series of my random thoughts and sometimes shared jokes.

I heard on the radio that Reggie Bush is not worried about losing his Heisman trophy as he has already lost another good trophy in Kim Kardashian.

Every time the Dallas Cowboys score, God kills a kitten.

When was the last time you saw an American threaten a Muslim for going on tv and burning a Chinese made American flag?

If white men can't jump, does that mean that half white men can?

This generation needs a good cop/dirty cop series like Dirty Harry.

If organic produce is sans pesticides and au natural, shouldn't it cost less than regular produce since you don't do anything to it?

Every Labor Day weekend I always tell myself that I am going to go to the Pregnant Bikini contest hosted by The Buzz, and every year I always seem to pull out from going.

I find it mildly funny and ironic that Roger Clemens is being charged with lying in/to Congress. I mean if it is a crime to lie in/to Congress, shouldn't the 535 members of Congress be brought up on charges as well since they lie every time they open their mouths?

"U.S. Air Force - Travel Agents To Allah"

I wonder when they start naming schools after Bill Clinton, if they will make it a requirement that there is a strip club and cigar bar across the street from the school?

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

A friend of mine just started his own business making land mines that look like prayer rugs. It's doing pretty well, Prophets are going through the roof.

7 out of 10 women think I am an asshole, and 8 out of 10 women are bat shit crazy. You do the math.

It either smells like rain outside or Canadian beer, I am not sure which.

Philo Beddoe should run for president.

Here is a calendar you will never get for Christmas; Hot Women Truck Drivers.

I find it funny that Liberals will condemn Christians for their views on abortion and gay rights, but they will support Islam which kills gays, beats women, and stones people to death.


  1. I don't think you're an asshole. I'm also not batshit crazy. I'm ALSO smart - because I can do the math.

  2. Two of those three things you just said are true. LOL

  3. You're right. The sad part is, you don't know which one.

  4. The smart money is on the bat shit crazy part. LMAO

  5. That is true Holly, it could have been Mexican beer.

    On a side note, I did try some good Canadian beers when I was up in Calgary a few years ago. But that is a story for another blog.

  6. Thanks for your comment, Oilfield. I'm a new follower, since all the cool kids are doing it. Plus, you are awfully funny in a very good way.

  7. Thanks for the following. I guess there is now officially 9 people who find my humor funny. Looks like I will have to do my 9 person world stand up tour soon.

  8. Too funny dude.. too funny... I will say you do have good taste in ass... he he.. unless I'm stepping into something I shouldn't...

  9. I laughed at most of these! Your a pretty funny man....

  10. Thank you SSW. I have about 6 or 7 more posts like this one that I need to post.


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