A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Friday, September 24, 2010

CSI: North Pole

The following took place a few years ago, but I thought I would still share the story with you as it is still funny to this day.

I laughed so hard over this conversation that I was in tears. One evening I was sitting on my porch and my daughter came outside with me and was talking to me. Out of now where she asked me where Santa lived. So I replied back, “Well he lives at the North Pole,” and she had this puzzled look on her face like she did not believe me. She then said, “Are you sure?” So I told her, “head up to the North Pole and see for yourself.” So I asked her with whom she had been talking to that had her questioning Santa, and she said some of her friends from school had told her that Santa was not real. And that moms and dads put all of the presents out under the tree when kids go to sleep on Christmas Eve. So I told her, “Well dear you cannot believe everything that all of your friends tell you, because that is simply not true. Santa is very real.” She then said, “thank you dad I appreciate you being honest with me.” So then lastly she said (and this is the part that made me smile), “I knew Santa was real because the hand writing on the letter that Santa leaves us every year thanking us for being good throughout the year, does not match yours, my moms, or Uncle Doug’s handwriting. And the bite marks on the cookies that Santa cannot finish eating do not match yours, my moms, or Uncle Doug’s bite marks on cookies as the bites are too small.” After she said that I went back inside and promptly to my room and closed the door to laugh my ass off in privacy.

How many kids look at Santa and look for forensic evidence of whether or not he is real?

Boy she is going to kick my ass when she gets older and finds out that Santa is not real.


  1. One of my favorite stories of the babes! :)
    She'll probably kick your ass for sure though...

  2. Yes she will probably kick my ass, but I am sure she will one day understand life from my perspective.

  3. Wow, she's good, so good that I'm starting to believe that Santa is real, and I'm a Jew.
    I don't think she'll kick your ass. She's too smart for that. She'll hire someone to take care of the matter.
    Great post. Happy weekend to you!

  4. that hilarious.. the things we go thru to make our children "beleive"... tho sometimes i get tired of the effort... and just wanna tell them the truth.. (and get the credit).. Im a bad mommy huh!

  5. Too funny... she's intelligent. Watch out.

  6. Yes she is very smart, she got her smarts and good looks from me and not from her mother.

  7. So much spark from you guys - are you sure you don't wanna hook up again????


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