Sex Tips From Dr Sammich

I said from time to time I would dish out some of my worldly advice, so here you go. Here are some sex tips for all you women whether you want them or not and they are good for you whether you are married or single. But then again if you are doing all of these things chances are very good that you are off of the market forever.

If you want your man to give you an orgasm, show him where to lick, bite, nipple, pinch, and slap. Yes us men folk do not need GPS to drive because we are born with it, but not every woman likes the same things as you do. You women have different directions to the same place, so you have to show him. If you like to be licked in a certain spot, show him where to lick. Make a huge sign with neon saying, “Lick HERE!!!” If you like to be fucked hard, tell him that you want to be fucked hard and have your head go through the wall. If you like to ride him slowly, tell him that and then show him how you can ride. If you like to be fingered, put his finger in you and show him where your g-spot is. Remember communication will solve 99% of all sexual things.

When it comes to oral sex, occasionally it would be nice to have a woman give a blowjob to completion. Don’t just suck on it for 30 seconds and then climb on it and ride it off into the sunset, no give a blowjob to completion at least once a week. Hell preferably once a day. Do it in the morning before he goes to work. He will take the trash out, have a good day at work, clean the house, cook dinner, and then fuck your brains out every night if you suck him off daily. Yes world peace can be achieved this way.

If you are having sex with a man for the first time and you are a squirter, please warn him. Nothing is more gross more exciting than giving a woman oral sex till she cums and then she squirts all over you and you wind up looking like that slimy ghost from the movie Ghostbusters. Just warn us, we don’t mind a Noah like flood in bed, but we would like to move our faces out of the line of fire or at least close our eyes.

Do not complain about the taste of the sperm. If you don’t like the taste of it, change his diet to something that will make it taste better. I mean you should be cooking for him anyways, so it is not like this is hard to do. But do not complain about the taste especially when he goes down on you when you are not summers eve fresh. We men folk have to eat that Hamburger Helper shit that you women cook all the time, so take one for the team and just do it swallow it.

Well I think that should be enough for you to ponder for one day. Next time I will tell you women how to enjoy anal sex. Till then, have some good golf, good tennis, or whatever makes you happy cum.