A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Great Inventions

I think that in my short lifetime that there have been some really great inventions. So I am going to say a little about some of them that I think are influential (well at least to me).

The iPod.

When I was a kid I had hundreds of cassette tapes and hundreds of vinyl records because I loved music and also because I was a DJ. I did private parties, weddings, and of course my own house parties. Anytime I had a gig, I had to haul around hundreds of pounds of gear, equipment, and the vinyl. Then came cd’s and I had to get everything I had on vinyl and cassette and go buy it on cd. So many years go by and I have hundreds of cds and any time I take a road trip, I have to take tons of cds with me. So skip ahead to today with the invention of the mp3 players, I got an 80gb iPod years ago and loaded up all my cd’s and cassettes onto to it and I love it. I can take thousands of hours of music with me anywhere I go and play them and only have to carry one small little iPod. If I only still was a DJ, life would be very easy now as they have mixers which can accommodate iPods. But the iPod has saved my life at work as I listen to music all day and it makes the day go by faster.

Smart Phones.

Remember the old cell phones which had a car battery sized battery back that you had to lug around everywhere? You know the ones with the 1970’s monochrome red Radioshak calculator display? Well today cell phones are small, very small and getting smaller all the time. And they have all of these great features as well now. You can look at the internet, listen to games, text message, find directions to places, order food, and a million other things. Can you imagine how much more fun church would have been when we were kids if we had smart phones back then? You could play games, chat with other friends stuck in church as well, play on Facebook, and download pictures of hot nuns all from you pew.

Remote Controls.

I remember when I was a kid and my parents would make me go change the channel. Or go turn the tv volume up or down. I hated that shit. Then we got a tv that had a remote, but it had a cable attached to the tv, but it was only 10 foot long. And this new remote did not reach my dad’s spot on the couch, so I still had to get up and change the damn channel. Then many years later when we moved to Texas we got a nice new tv that had a remote which was a true wireless remote. It was great as I no longer had to get up to turn the volume up or down and to turn the tv off. But the cable tv box had a dial which still had to manually be changed so I still had to get the fuck up to change the channel for my lazy ass parents. Then after many years the cable company caught up with the tv companies wireless remotes. Then some more years go by and we finally got a cable box which had a wireless remote. I was in HEAVEN as I no longer had to get up and change the channel for my parents. Or so I thought, by then I was then old enough to be forced to make them each a mixed drink. Oh and instead of getting up to change the channels for them or turn the tv volume up or down after all the remotes were in our house, do you know what they had the nerve to do? You guessed it, my lazy fucking parents would ask me, “Hey can you hand me the remote that is on the tv?”

I will have some more posts about some of the things in which I think are great inventions and also some of the things which I think had no business ever being made. Stay tuned.


  1. thats hilarous... that you for the giggle.. i can just picture you all pissed off, stomping feet going and getting that damn remote (again) for your parents... :-) what happened when the remote was lost???

  2. You are welcome. And the remote was so huge back then in the 80's that you couldn't lose it. lol

  3. Wow, I never knew you guys felt the same way about church as I do about temple. Your tech talk rules. You should make this a continuing series.

  4. Thanks copy, I will have more post for this series that is for sure. Some of them might be a tad bit sarcastic though, but some of them will be serious.

  5. I can imagine a kid sending a text "You're a little bland today" after receiving the wafer.

  6. LOL! My lazy ass parents never let me make them Drinks But I did roll Joints for my dad when I was 10!

  7. Well, now I understand why you freak the fuck out if your remote is lost...

  8. Brans, wow you couldnt make drinks but you could roll em up. Nice. lol

    And yes Miley that might be why it is near me at all times.

  9. I am on board with ALL of these.

    And I can't tell you how many times I have had that very same remote on top of the TV conversation with my own children. That is the stuff childhood memories are made of!

  10. we had 3 channels, adults picked the show, ( news, news or if I was lucky hee haw). I was the remote. I was also the satellite dish because I had to turn the antenna. I don't own a smart phone, or an Ipod because honestly now that I would enjoy those things I am simply too damn broke. Because of my lovely kids, who have mp3 players and smart phones.

  11. Peachy, it sounds like you and me grew up the same. And don't feel bad about the smart phone, I don't have one either. I have my plain jane work issued one, which is ok because I don't pay the bill. And the only reason I have an iPod is because I got it through my work's safety rewards program.


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