New Sexually Transmitted Diseases

I wanted to take this time to let all of you know about the recent press release put out by the Centers For Disease Control regarding the discovery of new sexually transmitted diseases.

It has recently come to light that there is a surge in the diseases of ignorance and stupidity and that they have been running rampant throughout our country and rest of the world. The University of Texas has recently discovered that there is a link between someone being stupid and having sex. Apparently this study has concluded what I already knew, and that stupidity and ignorance can be contracted by sleeping with someone who is stupid or ignorant.

Although it has been widely known that a stupid or ignorant person can pass these evil diseases onto their offspring, this new revelation is scary as stupidity kills more people annually than all other causes of death combined. And believe me when I say that there is no shortage of stupid people fucking each other. I think ignorance and stupidity are more dangerous than Aids, the clap, and herpes combined. I mean you never hear of someone with Aids walking in front of a bus or voting for an idiot in a presidential election do you?

Just think if you could stop the spread of stupidity and ignorance you could all but eliminate welfare, food stamps, housing, and pretty much every other conceivable social program known to man. Although if we were to stop the spread of stupidity and ignorance there would be no such thing as a trailer park anymore, but at the end of the day would that be such a bad thing?

So in order to stop the spread of these dangerous diseases, you should definitely practice abstinence with these people. You should also stop drinking Wild Turkey and Jack Daniels in this effort as well. And if you just have to have sex with an ignorant or stupid person, please use a full body condom.