Last week we went to a local pizza joint because they were having a fund raiser for my kid’s school and were donating 15% of the sales to the school. So my ex and I collectively took the kids up there for dinner. After dinner my son and I were playing with his mom’s cell phone and it has this app where you talk to it and the phone repeats back what you say to it. But the repeat of what you say to it is in a kitty cat voice. So I said to the phone, “Make me a darn sammich woman” and then I stuck the phone up to my ex’s ear so she could hear the repeat. She was not amused.
So then my son grabbed the phone and said this beautiful gem.
He pretended like he was an NFL referee (and even acted like he was pulling and throwing the flag out) and said into the phone, “Mom #63. Offsides, not in the kitchen. 15 yards, replay 4th down.” And the phone then repeated what he had just said.
His mom (my ex) was severely pissed off and tried to lecture me about our son becoming a male chauvinistic pig. I politely explained that I had not taught my son anything about women being solely in the kitchen. I then told her (jokingly of course) that women have to occasionally leave the kitchen to clean and do laundry. It was at that point that she got up and walked out. Talk about not being able to take a joke. At least my son and I had a good laugh at his mom’s expense.
I am not sure what was funnier, the fact that my son said this to her or that the jersey number he gave her is a number normally reserved for a fat ass offensive lineman.
Do you think the rule will be added by playoffs?
ReplyDeleteI am not sure if it will or not. But for me it really does not matter because I have always cooked and had food for everyone while we are watching games.
ReplyDeletelol offsides at the kitchen!
ReplyDeleteI vote for the fact that the # he gave her was for fat ass offensive linemen! That's pretty funny.
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
Some friends of mine had the kitty voice app on their phone and had it hooked up to their car speakers, so for about 3 hours (it was a long drive) had to hear them laughing and hearing back the kitties laughing... :)
ReplyDeleteThat was funny... I thought it was funnier that he asked the other night if you'd told me that. He was all proud :)
ReplyDeleteOMG, that was so funny! I am a mom and I find that really funny.
ReplyDeleteWell at least you can't be in the doghouse with an ex, or can you? I would of loved to hear the audio on that. It's funny but doesn't have the same effect in writing.
ReplyDeleteQ-Do you know why women really don't need a drivers license?
ReplyDeleteA-Because there is no roads between the bedroom and the kitchen.
.. I will be going to feminist hell because when I was told that one.... I laughed.
I am a mom, and probably closer to a fat ass line backer than I could be. If my kid ( 9) said that to me, I would roll on the floor peeing myself. I would then of course demand he strip naked and sleep in the woods. Because I make it clear he owns nothing, it's all my generosity and gifts. My shoes, my bedroom, my TV my food, My electricity. I would then offer him a mad ass playoff in rock band guitar duel of Highway star on Expert and if he could beat me he could sleep inside with clothes. He would lose.
ReplyDeleteHolly that is hilarious. Sometimes jokes can be just what you need to brighten your day. I have a funny picture of Horatio from CSI and they caption tells him a guy ran over his wife with a hummer. And Horatio replies back with "what was a hummer doing in the kitchen"
ReplyDeletePeachy, I am sure your husband would fail the rock band challenge. lol
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
ReplyDeleteDoes the son know who typically gets the #63 jersey? If so, kudos to him. Tell you ex maybe if she removed that pickle from her butt maybe she be able to enjoy herself more, and laugh about kitty-cat voice repeats of stupid jokes! I mean, come on a kitty-cat voice? Awesome!
ReplyDeleteNikki, I am not sure if he knows that or not. It is funny to me either way.
ReplyDeleteAnd the people who drilled the hole to free the miners in Chile could not remove my ex's pickle from her butt. She finds nothing funny.