A recipe of blurbs by a hungry dad-filled with sarcasm, truth, and a dash of that rare ingredient, common sense.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I Am Alive. Well Sort Of.

Well I guess you could say I am alive. Or maybe you could say I am “more machine now than man” (kudos if you know where that is from). Or perhaps I am like the Terminator, half human and half machine. Well at least I feel like I have been half living like a zombie due to how tired I am.

I have been gone from here for over a month now due to working my damn ass off 12 or more hours a day. Since I last posted in the beginning of August, I have had a total of THREE days off from work. And those THREE days off I was stuck working from home.

And since I was last here my kids came home from their summer vacation at their grandparents in Georgia, football season has FINALLY started, and my ass is still chapped from that audit that I was in the first week of August.

So I have been extremely busy at work and when I get home I am just too beyond tired to sit down and write. Plus there has been an abundance of soccer and football on tv which explains my absence as well.

I am sorry and I promise to make it up to you by writing some more sarcastic observations that I normally post for you. Of course provided I can find some free time that is.

Although I must say that I am getting caught up at work. My back log of work has disappeared, I have my trainee almost trained, a new person joined my group, and my coworker who is on maternity leave will be back soon. So I will be less stressed out and will go back to working my normal schedule at work (come late and leave early).

I truly appreciate all of the nice emails that all of you sent to me. Well I have appreciated some of them more than others (as you will see below).

Dear Trash, I miss you man.

Dear Trash, I miss you my friend.

Dear Trash, where have you been? I am going through OFT withdrawals.

Dear Trash, please come back. My life is empty without you.

Dear Trash, just checking in with you to see if you are ok. We all miss you.

Dear Trash, hope you haven’t crocked on us.

Dear Trash, miss the oily world view.

Dear Trash, I rub my clit when I read your blog. Please start writing or I will never be able to rub one off again.

Dear Trash, please come back soon I miss your sarcasm.

With lovely fan mail like this, I guess I had better get my ass back to writing again. I wouldn’t want a woman to never masturbate again would I?


  1. Welcome back and kudos on the Obi Wan line:
    He's more machine now than man. His mind is twisted and evil.
    So glad that football season is here, we are heading up to Tallahassee to watch the NOLES....
    cheers, Sasuage.

  2. *flying hug....

    Missed you so much OT. Welcome back and I am really glad you didn't croak.

  3. Welcome back OT! Good to see you hanging out with the crazies again!

  4. Welcome back and keep the masturbation fluids going.

  5. Do me a favor, Vader? Go toss George down the same shaft where you dropped Palpatine, okay? Screaming "No" is optional, apparently.

  6. Yayyyy OT's back! So glad. My blog has a bit of sad news but I'm really happy you're here!! Hugs!

  7. @ Sausage, thank you. I am glad you got the reference and have fun at the game.

    @ Mynx, hugs back. Thank you.

    @ Randomgirl, yes I am hanging back with the crazies again.

    @ Lurker, thanks and yes I will.

    @ Yandie, yes so am I.

    @ Joshua, glad you got the reference. And I hate that George did that shit.

    @ Barb, thank you. I will have to check out yours and everyone else's blog.

  8. Welcome back! Was about to issue a search and rescue and send out the scantily clad troops with lots of liquor.

  9. Phew! I'm glad you're back. I had just started following you when you stopped writing; I thought it was personal. I feel better now.

  10. Welcome back to the hustle and bustle of bloggyland! Stay away from work, its not good for you!

    ツ my cyber house rules dot com

  11. It is sooo wonderful to have you back. While I haven't struggled with masturbating without you it is pure ectasy to have you back

  12. @ Nubian, you can still send out that search and rescue team.

    @ Eva, no it was not personal.

    @ Nikki, thank you. I am trying to do that.

    @ Krystle, well I am glad that my absence has not effected your self loving time. lol

  13. So glad you are among the living! Sorry I didn't write, but I, too, have been MIA. BTW, are you sure that you didn't just imagine that woman masturbating to you blog? I mean, it's good, but is it THAT good.

  14. Sorry about the "clit rubbing" email, sometimes my Aunt Sue gets out of her restraints and by the time we found out she had emailed you it was too late. Glad to know you're still out there.

  15. That kind of stuff, is why I retired. I don't have time for work. Anyway, glad you survived and happy to see your post. Hang in there!

  16. Welcome back! I have a question: What is materialiity leave and how do I get in on that? I could be materialistic if it might time off of work...

  17. @ Mel, thank you. And it is ok. Yes that is an actual email I got. I won't say from who though.

    @ George, you had better get that woman on meds.

    @ Pat, I wish I could afford to retire.

    @ Barsola, sorry about the that it should have been "maternity" leave. Damn autocorrect.

  18. Welcome back, OT! Don't you just hate it when that needy, clingy little brat called life gets in the way of things?

  19. I was wondering if I said something that turned you off.... But then I remembered some of your posts and you are not easily TURNED OFF . ;)
    Incubus - Nice one!!
    I have been in your spot with the work thing - I feel your pain....

  20. Glad to have you back... I though someone was keeping you in a pit or something.

  21. Glad to see you back! :) Doesn't it suck when life gets in the way of writing. I was about as patient as I was able to be though so I'm glad to see you check in.

  22. You're back! You're back! Yay! I was about to send you another e-mail, although mine wasn't quite as inventive as some I see you received. ;)

    I can't wait to read more of your sarcastic observations! I've missed your comments, too. I'm glad the uber-busy-kick-a** month is over. Your bosses need to be aware of how they deprived the blogging world of our favorite sarcastic OT. :) Happy Football! (yeah, doesn't have the same ring as Happy Halloween or Merry Christmas, but ya know, it's football!).

  23. I've been checking in every so often to see if you're back. Thanks for the update and glad to see that dominatrix from your last post didn't get the best of you. Sexy though she was.

  24. Hahahaha, I'm dying at those 'mails' you got. Too funny. Glad you are back, but sucky work has been a bitch. Don't they know you have important blogging stuff to do? Sheesh!

  25. Thank God you're back! I was getting so uptight! Mmmmmm *lights cigarette*

  26. Got something for you over at my place.

  27. Welcome back. I've been busy too.

  28. I missed you too. Glad to see you've returned.

  29. Welcome back! I wondered what happened to you. Then, I began to think what would happen if I suddenly vapor-locked at my computer, was hit by a car in front of my house (this almost happened), or was taken into custody for hiking too close to the Iranian border (man, that's crazy talk! NOBODY would be that stupid). Nobody would know-everyone on Blogger would just wonder for a little while and then go watch You Tube or play internet Scrabble. Maybe I should leave instructions for my family to let people know I had assumed room temperature. Believe it or not, a family member of a deceased Blogger did just that last year. So I guess it's not as far-fetched as you might think.
    Naw, I'll let everyone wonder.
    Anyway, glad to see that you're back.

  30. Glad you're back! I feel like most of my favorite bloggers have been M.I.A. lately, and so have I. Is there some grand conspiracy against blogging?


  31. Hey trash... Will you just come rub my clit FOR me so I can sleep tonight? I mean, I know you're busy and all but I've missed you a lot. A LOT. One blog isn't enough.

    Poor Bluz... thought I'd locked you in a pit. I wish.

  32. Bahahahahha! OMG you "fan mail" was hysterical! I was wondering where you were! I'm glad it's going to slow down a bit for you now.

  33. @ Vinny, yes I do hate that.

    @ Kirsten, I don't get offended.

    @ Bluz, no pit just a nasty cubicle.

    @ Jewels, yes I hate it as well.

    @ Virgin, any email is good. And I am so glad football is back.

    @ Mack, thank you.

    @ Vixen, yes I am back and the vixen would have been a better beating than the one my work gave me.

    @ Texa, I wish they knew and would let me do less work and more writing.

    @ Dawn, same here my friend.

    @ Paul, Ok I will have to check it out.

    @ Ruth, I can imagine.

    @ Robyn, thank you.

    @ Cajun, I missed you as well.

    @ Al, no I have not got to room temperature yet.

    @ Fairy, it happens to all of us at some time or another.

    @ Miley, I am still too busy with work to rub anyone off. lol

    @ Yvonne, thank you I am glad you enjoyed the fan mail.

  34. I think my grandma wrote the one about masturbating. She is way too horny for her age.

  35. I don't mean to be crass but I had assumed that you had quit writing because you finally realized that I wasn't the Heidi Klum look alike you thought I was. And I had such high hopes for you!

    Welcome back! :D


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