My Boy Blue Got Shit-Canned

Last year I wrote a nice little post about how I think that Charlie Sheen is my hero. I wrote that little piece because well Charlie gets paid to basically be himself and get paid for it on tv. A pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

A couple of weeks ago Charlie went on another one of his cocaine fueled benders and had a threesome with a couple of whores. Having a cocaine filled night of debauchery is normally a typical week day night thing for him since he has all that money to blow (and I am pretty sure that yes he has indeed done cocaine off of a stripper/hookers ass before). What was weird about the night of Roman like pleasure was that sometime during the early morning hours he checked into a hospital (maybe he had that hard on for longer than the little blue pill recommends having) and then checked into rehab after getting out of the normal hospital.

Well last week CBS came out and said that at the end of this season that they were canceling the show (you can read about it here and here). CBS said that they were canceling the balance of the show due to Charlie Sheen’s recent "statements, conduct and condition."

Recent conduct huh? He has been a partying man whore for the better part of the last 10 years or so. He was the number one customer for Heidi Fleiss. He has gotten arrested with hookers, beaten one of his wives and beat up a couple of girlfriends as well, trashed a hotel room with a hooker, and he has been mentioned on TMZ more times than any other person in recorded TMZ history. Charlie did nothing a few weeks ago that he has not done in the past since he has been the star of “Two And A Half Men” on CBS. So either you were fucking stupid, blind to his behavior, or you were too busy counting all of the fucking money that his on/off the tv set behavior was bringing into your company through the tv show.

Then it dawned on me what the recent behavior was that got him shit canned form CBS. It was the part of the cocaine sex night where he checked into rehab. Checking into rehab a few weeks ago was the only thing that he has done recently that he has not done since he has been on that tv show. Yes checking himself into rehab was over the top to CBS. Apparently they wanted Charlie to be completely off the wagon for the publicity and the interest in the show that his bad boy behavior brought to it. And we all know that a sober Charlie Sheen was/is not good enough to bring in ratings and advertising revenue for CBS (in their opinion) so they are ending the show. God fucking forbid we have a sober Charlie Sheen.

(By the way the guy who called him Wild Thing in that movie was better than Nostradamus)

Yep that is how I see it.

Well Charlie let me tell you this, Hollywood is a place full of fucktards who can’t make a decent movie/tv show if you held a gun to their pet kick dogs (one of those little dogs Paris Hilton always has shoved up her ass) head and threatened to kill them. I say fuck em’. You don’t need Hollywood Charlie, Hollywood needs you.

You Charlie are my American Hero. I think Disney Land should wrap you up in the American Flag, give you some blow and a couple of hot women, put you on a float, and parade your ass all through their park. What Disney is owned by ABC and if ABC can have a show about horny/slutty/cheating housewives, then by all means they can parade my favorite man whore hero through their park.

You are my boy blue!!!!!!

Edited to add: I would like to say that I wrote this post on Sunday and set it up for auto post for this morning prior to Charlie getting on tv this morning and sounding like a street corner crack head.

Courage

I am sorry my friends but I have been incredibly busy with work and stuff at home this week so I have not really had a chance to write some of the “deep funny” posts that you have come to expect from me. So to make up for it I am going to post an email joke I got from a coworker. I hope you enjoy it and I will try over the weekend to get some great stuff posted for you for next week.



What is the true meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a bull in a bullfight?

Is it to fly a fighter plane in combat?

Is it to be a fireman and run inside a burning building to put the fire out?

Is it to practice free fall parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping, wild water rafting?



Bullshit........those are nothing!



THIS right here my friends is the true definition of COURAGE!!!

Have a great weekend everyone.

I Got Awarded And Tagged Again

Well it has been a very busy couple of weeks for me so I am a little late in getting around to the business of blogging. I recently was awarded the “Stylish Blogger Award” by three different people within one weeks time. I was given the award to me by Okie Blogger, Bold Remarks, and by Absolutely Primed. You should go check out their blogs as they are all worthy of reading.

Thank you all three of you for the award even though I am not so sure about how my blog is “stylish” per se since I am not one of the blogs that fits the typical stereotypes of blogs. But thank you just the same.

Now the award is supposed to have some rules just like all of the other awards out there. I have to thank the people who gave me the awards which I did. I have to tell seven things about myself which I am doing below. And I have to pass the award onto 15 other people. Well I don’t have time to sit down and go through the hundreds of blogs that I read to come up with some. I am just too busy and too tired to do so. And since this award was going around like an std at a high school prom, I am going to refrain for once in passing the award onto others.

So here goes seven truthful things about me:

1. I was not one of the popular kids in high school. I was friends with almost everyone which spanned across the clicks in high school (ie cool kids, dweebs, skaters, stoners, jocks, whores, yellow bellies).

2. I am not a red neck although I do like some redneck things like Nascar and monster truck jams. I mean who doesn’t like to watch a giant ass truck run over a double wide trailer?

3. I think about weird shit all the time. Like stuff I am sure that no one else thinks about.

4. I am not a morning person. I have to drive 50 miles one way for work and I often do not remember driving most of the drive when I get to work.

5. I cannot live on this earth without coffee. If coffee were to go the way of the dinosaurs, I would have to stay home as the urge to drive people off of the road would be too great.

6. I am a hopeless romantic at heart but the same time I am the world's biggest pessimist. 

7. I am beyond glad that my kids like the same music that I do. Although I guess I could blame it on the fact that I am a selfish bastard when it comes to what I want to hear when I am in the car. Although my kids think that I am a huge ass nerd because I also listen to sports talk radio from a couple of local am stations.

In addition to being awarded recently, I have also been tagged as well. I was tagged by Jewels since I made a comment about these question and answer things being fun. And well she digs my sense of humor so she wanted to see how I would answer the questions. Like the award I won’t pass this one like a bad std.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are the members of your family? Pets in my house hold are treated just like people. They all have names and nick names as well. I have a Norwegian Forrest cat that is more human than half of the people I know and is treated better than most people I know.

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be? A nice sizeable check from the lottery folks which that one dream come true would take care of all of my other dreams which I need to have come true.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you? I hate politics and politicians of both damn parties. I am beyond sick and tired of their damn bullshit. They have ruined our country.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars? I would get the fuck out of Texas to start with. And then I would travel the world and take my kids with me. I would home school my kids myself and teach them history by taking them to actual places where history happened.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood? Beer normally does the trick. And when I don't have beer, humor usually works for me.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? I think giving is better than receiving. Unless you are talking about giving me a sammich and then I am a receiver.

7. What is your bedtime routine? See the question below. I spend some “quality” time with myself and then watch some tv until I pass out.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner? I am not currently in a relationship per se, but I am pretty “tight” with my left hand. Me and old lefty met in the womb.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be? I would like to see what drugs the band The Bloodhound Gang do in order to write their songs. They come up with some of the funniest songs I have ever heard.

10. What kinds of books do you read? I read mostly stuff about history. At the moment I am in the middle of reading four different books about World War 2.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time? I would just like to be able to see myself in the mirror in ten years. In other words I will be just happy to be alive. Though in ten years I want to see my kids halfway done with college and decent young people.

12. What's your fear? That I will fail as a father.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space? Me give up Buffalo Wild Wings? No fucking way. I live 20 minutes from the Johnson Space Center, that is about as close to space as I want to get. Especially considering that you get to space on something that the lowest bidder made. Not a chance in hell.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor? Well considering that I have already been married and poor, I will go with the single and rich part.

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up? The first thing I do when I wake up is throw my alarm clock against the wall.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be? Well since I am dating my left hand, I would have to say self lubrication would be nice.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be? I am pretty happy with the name that I have actually. I just wish people would stop calling me Shirley.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done? I have a hard time with forgiveness. Some things in my mind are not forgivable, like what my mother did. Although I have forgiven her, she will never know my children.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be? Oh wow since I am hungry, I would have to go with some wings. Me and wings are in love with one another. I can put down a farm full of chickens in one sitting.

Well there you go fans of the Trash, there is some get to know you stuff. I hope you enjoyed reading my babbling bullshit and it made you giggle a little.

Who Is Afraid Of George Washington?

As today is Presidents Day here in America I thought I would ask a very special question. And that question is who is afraid of George Washington?

All through my school age years we were taught that the only people who were ever afraid of George Washington were the British who were trying to get the colonies in line. And maybe latter the Native Americans were a tiny bit afraid of George Washington. And those were the only people who we were taught that were afraid of George Washington.

Well I guess we need to update the history books to reflect a new group of people who are afraid of George Washington some 200 years after his death.

You see on MLK day back in January in Columbia, South Carolina there was a huge MLK day speech and celebration on or near the steps of the State Capital there. The event was put on and hosted by the NAACP.

And where the speaker was speaking there was a bronze statue of George Washington directly behind them. But the statue was covered up on three sides as the picture below shows.

I tried to think of why the statue of one of the most famous Americans in our history as well as our nation’s first elected President would be covered up. The only answer I could come up with was maybe they hung up some sign or banner on the wood surrounding the statue. But that was not the case.

The NAACP came out and flat out said that they statue was covered up so that no one would be offended by it.

Really?

Yes really.

Who would be “offended” by a statue of George Washington? Apparently the NAACP is offended by a dead white man.

Why would the NAACP think George Washington was offensive to people? The only reason I could think of is that because George Washington was known to have had slaves in his employment. Yes I realize that this fact could be offensive to some people, but what about the other stuff that this man did like leading the Colonial Army in defeating the British to help get our freedom from them. What about the signing of his name to the Declaration of Independence which was a death sentence to him (and the others who signed it) had the revolution failed. What about serving two terms as President of the United States and helping form our current government that has stood the test of time for over 230 years. I guess the NAACP can’t see past the fact that he was a slave owner to see the other great stuff that he did as a man and as a leader of our country.

In light of the covering up of George Washington I think we should look at MLK. It has been reported that MLK was a drinker and had also possibly cheated on his wife. Does that take away from his accomplishments that he did throughout his life? Hell no it does not in my opinion. I could care less what he did or didn’t do in his private life as what he accomplished as a man in his public life far exceeds whatever he did away from the public eye.

If the NAACP is going to allow people to be offended because George Washington was a slave owner and bypass all of the other history associated with him, then I think that they should teach people that MLK was a Republican (which it has been widely reported that he was). I think they should also teach and remind people that the KKK was started by Democrats. I think that they should teach people that it was Democrats that did tons of bad stuff to keep black people away from the voting booths in the South. And I also think that they should teach that it was Democrats during the Civil Rights movement that were opposed to any and all Civil Rights legislation that was passed in the 1960’s in the House and Senate. But I doubt that they would do that since the NAACP leans to the Democrat side of the political spectrum.

I wanted some more knowledge on the subject so I called my step dad of 20 years (who happens to be black and the grandson of a slave) to see if he could help explain this to me and give me some insight. I asked if he was offended by George Washington, and he said if someone is offended by George Washington then they are ignorant of history and lack a good education, plain and simple.

I think that the only person on this day who should/would be offended is MLK. I think he would be very pissed off if he were alive to see the statue of George Washington covered up at an event to honor MLK. We have come so far since 1968 in terms of race relations and other advancements for the black community. I mean a black man is President of the United States which is/has been described as the most powerful position in the entire world. Think about that.That is a long way to have come since 1968 don't you think.

I think if MLK were alive and saw this crap that he would tell the crowd and the NAACP that they need to focus on educating people because it appears that people have lost the true meaning of his “I Have A Dream” speech.

Irrelevance

I sometimes feel irrelevant in life. I have spent my entire existence trying to be relevant, yet I often feel like the 6 string acoustic guitar in the corner of your room which only has 4 working strings. Everyone wants to tell others that they have you, but no one wants to pick you up, fix your two broken strings, and actually play you till their fingers bleed.

I feel like I am just not appreciated.

At work I do the work of 3 full time employees and I rarely get recognized for my valuable contributions.

At home I am just the guy who provides groceries, a roof over the head, lights to read by, clothes, does the dishes, cooking, etc. I always do nice things for my kids and take them everywhere. I coach their youth sports teams.I rarely hear a thank you.

I would say something about a social life, but alas this guy does not really have one due to working so much and being a single parent so I rarely get to hang out with friends.

Love life, yep that one is nonexistent as well since women just are not interested.

It would be nice to occasionally hear from someone who says “thank you” or “I really appreciate all that you do”. 

I know all of you people reading this appreciate me and you have said as much. I am more referring to the people that I actually see on a day to day basis.

I feel alone all the time even when I am around people. It is if I am a riding around town in Wonder Woman's jet of invisibility and no one can see me.

My Favorite TV Shows

A while back I posted a couple of lists of my favorite movies; well here is my list of my favorite tv shows. Some of them are really 70’s and 80’s and cheesy. But hey this is my list remember, so here you go.

Airwolf – Yes I watched err loved this show when I was a kid. I know that most of the helicopter shots of it flying were reused throughout the whole series, but I still loved it just the same. I built a Lego Airwolf and also an Airwolf from my erector set. Yes I am that old that I had an erector set.

Battlestar Galactica – The original one, not them modern one done on the sci-fi channel (although the new one was not bad either). Like Airwolf this series re-used a lot of the same shots throughout the series, but it was still good. For me this was the best all time tv show. It was a great show except for the later episodes where they actually made it to Earth.

Friends – Yes I watched this show I am sad to admit. But I only watched it because not an episode went by that I did not want to fuck Jennifer Anniston.

The A-Team – There are no words that can describe how I feel about this show, but needless to say I loved this show. Although this show taught me that people are stupid. Each episode Mr T was afraid to fly and yet every episode they drugged him and got him on a plane or helicopter. How come Mr T didn’t wise up to their tricks?

Magnum PI – This show was awesome and started my obsession with the Ferraris. And this show taught me to always have a friend who is black and knows how to fly a helicopter.

Chef Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares – Words cannot describe my love affair with this show. You get to watch Ramsey go batshit crazy and go off on some idiot cook or owner of a restaurant. And you also get to see the sad fucking state of some restaurants. I sure hope the places I eat aren’t as fucked up as the places they show on this tv show.

Two And A Half Men – You either love or hate this show, and I happen to love it. It is full of sarcasm, humor, wit, jackassholery, and women. Basically Charlie Sheen’s character is my idol on this tv show. All he does is be a jackass, drink a lot, and fuck a bunch of women. What more could you ask for in a tv show?

Miami Vice – Not a Friday night in my youth went by without me watching this show. This show had it all, hot women, fast cars, cocaine, and Ferrari’s. Oh and the music was good as well.

Sportscenter – I don’t need to say anything about this show the title speaks for itself.

Seconds From Disaster – This is a cool show on National Geographic channel that features different accidents and breaks down how and why they happened in a nice little chronological order. They have featured airplane crashes, the nuke plant in Russia blowing up, and countless other disasters of the 20th century. This tv show is a very informative show to say the least.

Sanford And Son – This was I think one of the best tv shows ever made. I used to watch this show almost every single day growing up. I loved watching Fred say “you big dummy” to his son. As an adult I still love this show and watch it as much as I can. It is funny to watch this show with my kids as I now get all of the jokes on the show, and my kids don’t get all of the jokes much like I didn’t when I was a kid.

Family Guy – This one show is probably my all time favorite as it makes fun of everything and anything. Mostly it pokes fun at all of the things I knew as I was growing up. If you can’t laugh at this show there is something wrong with you.

I hope you enjoyed this little in depth look into the mind of Oilfield Trash and some of what makes me tick.

Cupid Can Kiss My Ass

I have never really been a fan of Valentine’s Day. I think it is like most if not all other holidays (this will be a subject of a future post) in that it has lost its true meaning and has been way over commercialized. You are supposed to love, honor, respect, and so much more to/for the person that you love all year and not just on some Hallmark made holiday.

Although when I was younger I was a fan of this holiday as all I wanted was to get a special Valentine from a nice school girl classmate. That never happened. You see back in elementary school it was a rule of the class/school that if you brought Valentines cards and candy, you had to bring one for all of the kids. Yet in all my years in elementary school I went home with half of what I always took to school (read I did not receive stuff from half of the class, ie the girls). Such is life I guess.

As I got older I started to see this day for what it truly is, and that is a day designed for the ladies to feel special. Not that there is nothing wrong with that, but if there is a day for ladies to feel special why is there not a day for the guys to feel special as well? Oh I know us men folk are supposed to feel special giving women over priced flowers that will be dead before February is even over with and chocolates that on any other day of the year she would accuse of us men of trying to make her fat.

You see I have never really had much luck with this time of year. Back when I was a married fool, I took my ex out for a nice Valentines meal (it was the first post birth of kids Valentine’s Day) and gave her some overpriced jewelry. I left the next day for a 2 month trip to South America for work. A week after I left I found out my ex was cheating on me. A woman I dated after my marriage ended also cheated on me around Valentine’s Day (a friend of mine took a picture of her with some man feeling her up in bar). A woman I dated in college ditched me for her ex boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. Another woman I dated post marriage walked out on me (in the middle of the night with me asleep) a week before Valentine’s Day while I was on my death bed because of the flu. So needless to say I am a little bitter about this “holiday” and this time of year.

I guess what I am saying is that you should treat someone nice year round and not just on some holiday. If you are a bitch to a man year round, you really should not expect a shit ton of overpriced gifts on Valentine’s Day.

So if you are lucky enough to have someone in your life, treat them right. And treat them right not just on this day, but all days of the year.

As for me, I have decided that I am going to be single for life so I am not participating in this holiday. I figure I am going to save thousands of dollars over the course of the rest of my life on Valentine’s Day shit that I won’t have to buy for some woman who most likely isn’t nice year round anyways.

So while all of you (well all of you non single people) are out waiting in line for a table at an overpriced place to eat tonight, I will be at home thinking of all of you while I am eating my favorite “Hungry Man” tv dinner sitting on the couch in my boxers watching “Patton” for the 176th time.

To all of you single people, I am just as ________ (insert your choice of words) as you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day.